Yep. I have one like that. Bad endo when he was 5. Hasn't wanted to ride since. He is now a 25 year old Crossfit trainer. Instead of riding together, we play disc golf.

 

I say dont push the issue. I have a good friend and avid riding buddy has two sons. He would have loved for his kids to be riding with him, but he doesnt push the issue, they didnt express a big interest. Theyll go to the park and ride together but not much beyond that.

 

My advice, you don't need to share all interests. Find something he's interested in and encourage it. I hate my dad's sport, so we did other things.

 

My daughter hated bikes and wouldn't ride, and I didn't push it. She naturally gravitated to her own things like softball, basketball and soccer, all things I can't stand. It's a phase and will work itself out..

 

Your children will like what they like. Not what you like. It is what it is.

Think about it from this point of view, a lot of our moms probably weren't overjoyed about mountain biking...

 

Agree with what most are saying. The more you push it on them the less they will enjoy it, or even want to do it. I had dreams of my two girls riding trails with me but the reality is the occasional ride on a bike path if Im lucky. But, Im ok with that. I find other ways to spend time with them.

 

What you describe is probably harmless, but it might be a good idea to keep an eye on it, as much of what you describe is consistent with the mild end of the autistic spectrum.

 

That’s an interesting take; I will. I know many people on here say “just let him like what he likes…” The thing is, he sorta did like balance-biking up until the pedals arrived. I am not sure whether this is more of a pervasive issue of him quitting things that are a little difficult. He frustrates quickly at swinging a kids baseball bat, or trying to punt a soccer ball, or building a Lego tower. I feel like as a parent I should figure out a way for him to realize it’s okay not to do something perfect the first time and to just keep messing with it til you get it….. Maybe if I remove myself completely and just drop him off at a biking class?!

 

My kid is 8 and thinks he’s an expert at everything. A certain game, bikes, basketball, soccer, etc.

Being good at things is important to him. So when he actually TRIES something, and finds out he’s not as good as he thought, he’s super discouraged and doesn’t want to try again.

this started at 5 and got really bad until around 7 then started turning around. I continually coach him that some of the most fun things in life require practice and that talent only takes anyone so far. And the better at it you get the more fun it will be.

It’s gotten better. He gets less discouraged when failing at things and even practices sometimes. I can see the gears turning on MTB where he’s thinking “this would be fun to get better at”.

so I think it’s a phase and he’s realizing that if he only does things he’s going to be an instant expert in, there won’t be much out there to do!

 

My kid is 8 and thinks he’s an expert at everything. A certain game, bikes, basketball, soccer, etc.

Being good at things is important to him. So when he actually TRIES something, and finds out he’s not as good as he thought, he’s super discouraged and doesn’t want to try again.

this started at 5 and got really bad until around 7 then started turning around. I continually coach him that some of the most fun things in life require practice and that talent only takes anyone so far. And the better at it you get the more fun it will be.

It’s gotten better. He gets less discouraged when failing at things and even practices sometimes. I can see the gears turning on MTB where he’s thinking “this would be fun to get better at”.

so I think it’s a phase and he’s realizing that if he only does things he’s going to be an instant expert in, there won’t be much out there to do!

Very good point. Thank you. That might be the case here.

 

Shoot i hope he comes around, putting myself in your shoes. If not it will be an opportunity to connect with him over different interests. And keep that fleet around for a while longer! My son is only 3 and has gone through varying stages of interest in bikes already. You never know what will happen next.

 

I bribe mine. 100% ok with rewarding good exercise with sweets which my oldest two love. They associate mountain bike rides with a slushie on the way home.

But yeah, if there isn't a positive way to spin it for the kid to want to do it, walk away. Life is too short.

 

My daughter had no interest in bikes, or anything sporty. She's artsy, and she spends most of her free time drawing. Different strokes.

To the OP, you have two separate problems, which you need to avoid conflating: 1) He doesn't like bikes, which you obviously wish he would, and 2) he's not good with picking stuff up and sticking with it. Treat these as separate problems, because they are.

The bike thing probably will not change, unless at some future point he finds all his friends getting into it. Peer pressure is a thing for sure.

The other thing is probably just a question of maturity, and maybe him finding something he loves so much he won't let it go.

 

For years my son would ride with me when i asked, but never really got into it on his own. He was always good at it, he rode BMX as a kid and has great bike handling skills. But earlier this year, he was visiting me and asked to go mountain biking since i have 2 bikes. I was shocked, since off road dirt biking is his thing now. He couldnt hang on the hills but he really had fun. He bought his own bike right after that, but after only a few rides he ended up getting an ebike. Now hes totally into it, going several times a week. talking about selling his KTM. So I guess you never know when someone will get into. Hes 38 by the way-lol.

 

but after only a few rides he ended up getting an ebike.

Sorry for your loss. 🙏

 

I don't take orders from 5yr.olds ... let alone those between 10-38

 

Don't force it. Kids eventually find something they like and it doesn't have to be what you like. Let them find their own thing then in 20 years or so the MTBR brain trust can scoff at them for not being outdoorsy.

It's actually a blessing in disguise because you won't have to pay exorbitant amounts of money to keep their bike habit going. Bike stuff is expensive enough as it is.

 

I tried to encourage all my kids to ride with me but none of them were really interested. My oldest tried BMX (racing and park riding) but it was a just to please me. He took a couple of big wrecks at the track and in the park so I did not push him when he wanted to stop. My youngest son tried mountain biking with me when he was about 12 …broke his wrist on the first ride..no more interest.

 

Just over 7 before learning to ride a bike. She’s 7.5 and riding some easy singletrack with me now. We have good days and we have days that suck. Today was the latter. It happens, no pressure from me though.

 

My daughter has always been quite impressive on the high end mountain bikes i've always provided. At 8 she did laps with the 10-13 year old advanced group (all boys) and the lead rider a Pro female said 'there is a real future there'. She is ultra competitive and also has to win or she'll cry.

She'd rather be catching lizards, doesn't care to ride one iota. She still goes out once every 3 months, she still rides shockingly well and has fun doing it, but she just doesn't care.

My wife totally got in to it, drops, jumps, park riding was on the schedule, one trip over the bars and you would have thought she died. She claimed it was the worst pain she had felt in her entire life, and she has had 3 children. Now she putts around once every 6 months and walks literally everything.

What can you do?

 

I'm in both camps. Let your kids take their own path.

But if biking is a family activity, then the children will learn to bike and partake in the family outings. That is part of being in a family. If they pack tantrums and be spoilt brats then that will be dealt to appropriately as a tantrum Should.

Im all for them doing there own sports and not pushing them to bike as one of their sports. But learning to ride a bike is a skill all my kids learnt whether they wanted to or not. Just like learning to swin or crossing the road or cooking dinner or or or......

 

My dad was like you, he wanted me to do the things he liked to do, so he signed me up for baseball, basketball, and football, but I preferred soccer, bikes, and skateboards.

Because I didn’t do what he likes, he was disappointed and ultimately lost interest in doing things with me.

I played competitive soccer in high school and got into snowboarding, but he didn’t really care to attend games or watch me ride.

As an adult I excelled in many extreme sports over the years including whitewater kayaking, climbing, skiing, unicycling, ultra running, and mountain biking.

My father has never seen me do any of the above, he is not interested in the life I made, nor knowing me and my family; we are not close.

As a parent, I tried to interest my kids in the things I loved, but I also encouraged my kids to do anything that thought looked interesting. When the kids were about the age of yours, I was heavy insteep creek kayaking, so of course we went kayaking as a family, the kids didn’t dig it so we chose other family activities.

My kids are 27 and 29, as adults they’ve both rafted the Grand twice, and my son is getting into whitewater kayaking. My kids also, hike, bike, ski/board, and climb.

As a parent, your job is to support your child in doing the things they want to do, yeah, you’ll try to sway them, but what they choose has more to do with what they like than with what you want them to like.

I do a lot of parent coaching to “counteract” the sentiments that you expressed in your opening post.

Do yourself and your children a favor, go talk to a counselor, read some books on positive parenting, and learn how to set aside your ego.

It’s not about you.

… and for fucks sake, the kid is not even in 1st grade, give it a break!

 

That sucks. I can't stand basketball and don't know the rules of the game but I was there for all of my daughters games...watching the clock wind down. There's several things I've done differently than my parents raising my kids although I have no real complaints from my childhood.

 

Just set up your meals a few miles from your house. They can either walk or ride their bike to get there.

 

Non of my 3 kids (36, 34, 30) had any interest in biking, although when my 30 year old was a senior in HS he crashed 2 of our cars - I said “ you’re not driving any of our cars, you’re on a bike from now on”, he rode a bike all summer long, ended up liking it. Off to college, and didn’t ride a bicycle after that. We did however share a love of dirt biking together, he started riding when he was 13, and now he kicks my ass…..guess I did something right.

 

My son is into road bikes and I am into mountain bikes so we don't ride together but I am fine with that. I want him to find his own interests and hobbies and not live my life.

Sent from my moto g(7) supra using Tapatalk

 

Also, fwiw I haven't talked to my mother in years, because it was all about her. I am sure I never will again.

I miss my dad, terribly. Your choice I think.

 

I'm only counting on one of my three kids to share the outdoors with me. It's the girl twin. The older kid is a timid rider, even now four years after figuring out pedals he drags feet like it's a balance bike. The boy twin is huge but not really that athletic, and he plays small.

 

Im in similar boot, still they are children and way of thinking is not like mine. My primary target with mtb is freedom far away from home, phone, pc and so similar. Most riding with children is in park close to us. They are addicted to free time with pc or tv. Still misunderstand importance of sport/ hobby/ freedom from information and so. After everyone riding try to impress them what I see (big snake, grasshopper, turtle, falcon or so similar animal close to me) until ride. May be mental growing with time will affect them and alone will тake decision to be part of my riding day.