Getting slightly OT here, but what is the magic formula for serious riding? 14 hours a day in the saddle? A certain 10-mile time to beat? Size of stump routinely surmounted? Size of my wallet perhaps?
Thanks again for your input, though I'll be honest and tell you it hasn't been very helpful but I will take the blame for that and apologize for a poorly worded title (which I see now implies this is a tire discussion) and/or a poorly worded OP (which didn't clearly state my question). I didn't reach out to the community here to tell me what bike to get, but rather to help me fully understand the differences in construction between so call Hybrids and 29ers before I made a decision between the two.
My apologies if I insulted. in your first post you stated " if I'm being honest, beyond semi daily commuting in summer, I have only on occasion ventured off the crusher-dust trails in our area." So perhaps you commute 10k miles a year but in terms of off road riding, you sound like you don't get out much. You also joined the forum a smidgen over 4 years ago and have very few posts which in and of itself doesn't indicate anything 100% but it could just be you thought you were going to get into the sport and never really did. At any rate, now that I understand your question better, I am better equipped to answer you.
Frame materials. 29ers, CX, and hybrid bikes all can be made out of steel, aluminum and carbon. of the three, yes, the 29er is going to be the heaviest frame built the "toughest" however even within that realm there are lots of differences.
Geometry- This is where some of the biggest differences are going to occur. Even on a ridgid 29er such as the karate monkey I linked above, the design of the frame is for a fork which a much longer axle to crown measurment. A bike like the karate monkey can also easily be run with an 80-100mm suspension fork without throwing off the geometry. You would not want to do that with a cx bike and a hybrid can go either way as many of them are designed with 60mm suspension forks but keep in mind that those types of hybrids are really typically called "comfort bikes" and are designed to be ridden on paved streets with a suspension to give people more comfort like a car. To be brutally honest, geared towards senior citizen types looking to dabble in cycling.
a hybrid 29er is sometimes called a "dual sport" bike because it does have the ability to hit some more serious trails but not advised to go doing seriously aggressive riding.
A true 29er designed for serious riding will often have a frame that is "gussetted" that is you will see additional material between the headtube and downtube for greater strength in that critical area. a 29er in the $1000 price range is probably going to have a suspension fork that may or may not be decent but will probably weigh in the neighborhood of 4-5 lbs while a ridgid steel fork will only weigh about 2lbs. IF your going to be riding on the road, save the weight and go ridgid. there are plenty of people that ride serious XC on ridgid bikes.
regarding your wifes aversion to the "road bike positioning" a lot of people are intimidated by road bikes and think "that will hurt my back" I'm a personal trainer, it couldn't be further from the truth. first of all, the position on a road bike actually stretches out the lower back so cycling provides relief for a lot of people. 2nd. within the realm of all bikes there are various setups. There are flat out crit racing road bikes with a saddle that is 5 inches above the handlebars and super steep aggressive angles and there are also road bikes that are "gran fondo" and setup with much more even handlebars. The same thing is true in MTB. A XC racing machine may have the saddle significantly above the bars and be very aggressive. then you have the opposite in downhill bikes where the seat is very low and bars very high and much slacker angles.
So after all of this, here is my basic advice to you. IF you never go off of drops and jumps a 29er is probably a bit overkill as an entry level 29er is going to be very heavy. A flatbar hybrid type bike with a ridgid fork is probably a better option. with knobby 32-38c CX tires, it will still get great traction on dirt trails and give you MTB positioning on the bike and be snappy on paved roads. IF you will be hitting some small jumps, drops, log overs etc, consider the 29er, especially if you have rocky terrain or lots of logovers as the bigger wheels get over that stuff easier, your tire choice will be a huge factor in how the bike rides on the road. I have Geax Mezcals which are lite knobbed lightweight for speed and i have Geax sturdy which are monstrously heavy with big knobs. The traction of the sturdys is awesome but man do they suck to ride on the road. The mezcals are great on the road but man, let that trail be a little bit damp and it's a scary proposition.
Pictured below are the following. A cannondale Bad Boy. This bike was designed around a MTB frame but is meant to be sort of an Urban Messenger assault bike. It can probably fit up to about a 1.75" knobbie tire but i'm not sure it could go to a full on 2" mtb tire. This is an older one that has a headshock so it has a little bit of suspension and the head shock can be locked out. IT's pretty lightweight and nimble so it does great on the paved roads but also can handle some offroad action.
Next is the diamondback Trace This is a "dual sport" 29er. I bought this frame to build up to see if I would get into mtb coming from my road background. the fork on this thing is a monstrous 5.5 lbs and it doesn't even have a lockout. it's like a pogostick and a total piece of crap. Notice there is nothing particularly beefy around the headtube on this frame and the head tube is 1 1/8" straight steer tube.
Below are pics of my Yelli Screamy. Notice the Tapered Headtube as well as the gussetting. The manitou tower pro fork isn't the lightest by any stretch, it's still about 4 lbs but it's performs great. This one is 120mm and it has lockout. The pics don't really illustrate it well but the rear end of the Yelli is MUCH beefier. Starting with the seattube the diamondback takes a 27.2 seatpost while the yelli is a 30.9. the chain stays and the seat stays on the yelli also have MUCH bigger tubing which is going to be stronger.