It is highly unlikely you will damage your headtube. I have only seen people speculate about that happening, but never ever seen someone actually have that damage occur.
My friend put a 140mm on his frame rated for an 80mm to 100mm. I think it looks crazy, but he loves it...
I recently put a 130mm Vanilla on my Anthem, and found myself falling backwords on steeper climbs. This evening I pulled the spacers out and put in a 20mm. 110mm of travel now, and the geometry changed a lot from when it was a 130mm. My test ride is first thing in the morning, and I can't wait. I also put a mixture of 5wt and 10wt suspension fluid in the shock. Heard its awesome! Incredibly easy to do all this.