A jackazz, I am...

Guest · Aug 28, 2004

zedro said:
another wheelie-out story...

a bunch of pack-rat kids from the neighbourhood were milling around in front of my driveway, and one of them wanted to show-off his brand-new BMX he just got to me (they knew i was really into bikes and would sometimes scout my garage for gear). So for some reason, one of them had the impression that i actually knew how to do wheelies, and asked me to show them one on the BMX. So of course, being completly incapable of actually pulling wheelies, oblidge anyways, thinkin i'm da man and i'll show these kids how its done.

well needless to say a grown 6'2" man on a small frame BMX with light gearing and a heavy foot isnt a pretty sight. For some reason, the kids were more horrified than amused....

haha, good job zedro!, now those kids will never try a wheelie, or will
they... at least if they do and wipe, they can say they are just like you.
making them heros to themselves..

eman · Aug 28, 2004

JFR said:
3) This one is in honor of BSN_mt and his razor scooter crash. I was once grocery shopping with my gf and decided to ride the cart like kids do by just stepping on the back and skate boarding it up to speed. As soon as I got some good speed going I put my other foot up, the thing wheelied right up and over. I looped out so fast I didn't even get a chance to let go. I was laid out superman style still holding the cart, now pointed straight up in the air. Groceries everywere.

haha
ive almost tipped a shopping cart too many times to remember. Normally its while im trying to slide through a turn or two wheel(two side wheels) for the entire time im at the store.

dhchick · Aug 28, 2004

Well its nice to see that I am not the only one who can ride a bike but can't seem to walk! A couple of weeks ago after getting off the lift and grabing my bike and walking like 10 steps I end up twisting my ankle on a rock and I go down hard my bike lands on top of me, the lifty runs over to me and my husband stands over me and laughs.. It hurt so bad but I get up and hop on my bike and ride away because everyone is looking at me... I stop at the start of our run and tell my husband that I think I might have really hurt myself! He procceeds to tell me to walk it off so I cont. riding that day... long story short we end up in emergency that night and I am on crutches for a week and its still not fully healed!!

mr. bojangles · Aug 28, 2004

Man I sure got a couple:

1) I ditched high school to go ride some dirt jumps and a really nice wall ride near school. After the dj I preceded to go towards the wall ride. Keep in mind that this time my BMX bike was brakeless. To get to the spot there’s like a 20 foot hill with like a 25 foot run out and a small cliff covered in boulders after. I go down the hill like I do every day, not even thinking about it. When I try to put my foot on the back tire to stop It falls of and I go out of control right for the cliff. I try and Lay it down but when I do I cartwheel in the air down this cliff and land knee first. When I get up finally I look over to see all the kids walking home from school. I must have ditched in front of like 30 people. I still haven’t lived that one down and its been like four years.

2) On one of our weekly bike and beers rides. I proceed to get smashed on sake and decide I can do this gap that’s been scaring me for like two weeks. Well long story short I can't. I pedal up to it get my pant leg caught in the chain ring and go shoulder first in to a curb. The Japanese people near me really got a kick out of it. The gap scares me even more now.

NCBigHit · Aug 28, 2004

mr. bojangles said:
When I try to put my foot on the back tire to stop It falls off...

Holy crap you lost your foot?? How do you ride?

mr. bojangles · Aug 28, 2004

Nah, its still there. Although it trips me alot, mabe I should cut it off?

BSN_mt · Aug 30, 2004

This ones for Zedro

Just riding along the road with my wife and her parents. Well, I'm messing around bunny hopping and crap, when my mother-in-law asked me if I can do a wheelie. Not wanting her to think that I am incapable of riding (regardless of the fact that I still can only wheelie 10 feet), I proceed to do my stuff. Well, clipped in, wrong gear, and way to much pull on the handle bars and I basically lift my back wheel off the ground as I go over on to my ass. So know I'm on my ass, bike on top of me and still clipped in and my wife and mother-in-law can't breathe because they can't stop laughing. Needless to say, my ass was soar for about two weeks.

Amazing what a little bike short padding can do.

zedro · Aug 30, 2004

lol...the ol' still clipped-in on your back is a classic......did that in the middle of the parking lot with a bunch of riders around...and again, more looks of horror than laughter....whats wrong with people?

Tully · Aug 30, 2004

Like everyone else, I had a couple incidences when I was learning to ride clipless. Other than that, my funniest crash would probably be two weeks ago in Whistler:

I stopped at the top of a long rock face that had gotten pretty dusty and slick. At the bottom, there is a log, with a two-foot drop-off behind it, which serves as somewhat of a berm for the sharp right-hand turn. Anyway, I didn't know how slippery the rock face was, so while I was sitting on my bike with my feet on the ground, I started to roll down, but I couldn't get my feet on the pedals to shift my weight back, so braking didn't help, and it just made my wheels skid. Needless to say, I went down the rock face, which is a little steeper at the bottom, and ran my front wheel right into the log, where the dirt wasn't built up. My boys met my stem, and then my momentum carried me forward, over the front of my bike, landing in the soft dirt on my chest and the side of my head.

namaSSte · Aug 30, 2004

Tully said:
Like everyone else, I had a couple incidences when I was learning to ride clipless. Other than that, my funniest crash would probably be two weeks ago in Whistler:

I stopped at the top of a long rock face that had gotten pretty dusty and slick. At the bottom, there is a log, with a two-foot drop-off behind it, which serves as somewhat of a berm for the sharp right-hand turn. Anyway, I didn't know how slippery the rock face was, so while I was sitting on my bike with my feet on the ground, I started to roll down, but I couldn't get my feet on the pedals to shift my weight back, so braking didn't help, and it just made my wheels skid. Needless to say, I went down the rock face, which is a little steeper at the bottom, and ran my front wheel right into the log, where the dirt wasn't built up. My boys met my stem, and then my momentum carried me forward, over the front of my bike, landing in the soft dirt on my chest and the side of my head.

owwwwwwww! still, as painful as that sounds physically, the ego bruising suffered during a shopping cart mishap carries a wound that heals even slower (especially when witnessed by others close to you)!

great replies everyone, glad to see Im not alone.

rockcrusher · Aug 30, 2004

A few from the real old days:

I was riding home from a ride and had a tube and tools packed under my seat (roadie style) with a toe strap to hold them in, except I had had a flat and had not packed the blown tube and tools in as well as the spare and tools, so I am in front of the University and trying to look studly I hammer through a yellow light only to completely fly over the bars, crumpled in the intersection, in mortal pain, and needless to say embarrased, I get up, let the cars go by and sit on a curb. Looking at my bike I realize that the tube came loose, fell down into my cassette, wrapped around the cogs, bent the derailleur into the spokes, tore the derailleur off, and broke many spokes, sitting and sulking at my stupidity I got up and walked the few miles home in humility and pain, while my road rash leaked and clotted in my jersey.

I was riding with a local honch buddy, in my racing days and we were at about the same area near the U and we were all cocky and such, riding no hands, real close together, when all of a sudden our handlebars get close enough that my handlebar nests lightly under his and the brake levers lock together. There is a microsecond like a strobelight going off that I look at him and he looks at me and the look on his face is hilarious. We go down like a collapsing building, dust, bikes, parts, legs and bottles fly out in all directions as the asphalt slows our momentum, peeling skin and hair rapidly. Emerging from the yard sale after untangling legs, pedals and arms, we realize that we had slid into traffic and had stopped that lanes flow, waving signs of "we're OK," we shuffle of to the side of the road, sit on the curb, and laugh our asses off.

young and stupid go together like ketchup and chocolate, not well at all but makes a hell of a mess.

s1ngletrack · Aug 31, 2004

My 11 year old daughter was visiting me for the weekend and, as usual, we went out on a short bike ride - stopping off at the local elementary school to goof around on a fun little embankment there. So I decide after a while that I want to learn to wheelie down the sidewalk, hop from the rear and gap the last "square" of sidewalk to nose wheelie down the embankment at the end of said sidewalk. It goes pretty well for about the first five minutes and I am starting to get pretty comfortable - except that I cannot get enough front brake to keep the rear end up till the bottom of the embankment (6 feet or so) - so I decide that I will use 2 fingers on the front brake for my next attempt. So at some point during my approach I forget that I have way more leverage on the brake and manage to wheelie to gap to front wheel (which was- of course, locked) to catapult over the bars. Unfortunately, the embankment served as a transition between the sidewalk and the basketball court - meaning that I didn't just fall from 5 feet or so onto my wrist, I did so on blacktop. After pushing myself around in circles on my shoulder for 3 minutes while holding my wrist and trying, in vain, not to let my daughter hear the obscenities spouting from my mouth, I assured her that I was okay and that we should probably be heading back home so that I could drive to the hospital to get my wrist fixed.

I felt pretty stupid, but hey, I'd rather have her go to school and tell her friends about her dork father breaking his wrist on his bike than have her tell them about me having a heart attack while sitting on my @55, watching football and drinking beer (not that there's anything wrong with the beer part - mind you)

Axis · Sep 1, 2004

namaSSte said:
Anyone else have an embarassing crash story to share? Unfortunately this is only one in my chronicles of what not to do on a bike (or in this case, near a bike). Fire away gents (and dh/fr chicks who are lurking all over here - lol!)

later, nam

Well when I was 10 (1979) I was riding a hooptie Stingray and was hitting a jump and trying to do a cross up. Nailed it like 3 times and then.... the cops show up in an old Army Jeep they used to try to get us off of the private property we built our trails on. Well they couldn't follow us off of the double track so we used to have fun running from them. Now that I am an old guy I realize they must have been having fun too becuase they never caught us and I come from a very small town so I know they knew our Dads.

So anyway we split up and they choose to follow me. So I hit this bowl off of the double tracj and then double back at them but on a lower single track and hit the jump. Well I really did a cross up, more like a table top right as they passed me. The problem was I didn't get the bars straight again in time and landed on my front wheel pile driving the side fo the handle bars into my solar plexus. Man I was down for a long time trying to breath again. The cops didn't actually see me land and just went on chasing my other buddies. I don't know if they didn't see me crash or they couldn't turn around but I was really happy to walk away from that one.

Hey it was nice meeting you tonight Nam, hope to ride again with you soon.

namaSSte · Sep 1, 2004

Axis said:
Hey it was nice meeting you tonight Nam, hope to ride again with you soon.

great meeting you too bud and thanks for the patience since the little man was there with us. maybe this weekend we'll get a good ride or two in locally....

thanks too for the vids, watched acouple last night and got me all fired up.

talk to you soon.

A jackazz, I am...

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eman

dhchick

mr. bojangles

NCBigHit

mr. bojangles

BSN_mt

zedro

Tully

namaSSte

rockcrusher

s1ngletrack

Axis

namaSSte

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