Well... chromag has lasted now for more than 7 hours of pounding and headset is still nice and tight.
Starnut: like others have said it shouldn't be involved in holding stem in place, its for setting the bearing load.
M3 Bolts: they are small, but they are steel and they laugh at that thin aluminum. I very much doubt the steel bolts are aging or stretched.
The wren stem... to my eyes it looks 'fine' in the glare of the kitchen lights. The part that grips the steer tube is greatly hollowed out, the chromag has a full radius to grip the steer tube.
When I tighten the wren onto the steer tube it sort of seemed to deform, to my eyes, in the dark garage.
On both stems I have about 2mm of gap between top of stem and top of steer tube. Maybe this is the sort of stem that needs a spacer on top of the steer tube, so has a full steer tube to grip?
Well... the wren is super light but I'm surprised how much more I like having a tight headset and solid feel at the bars. Just a small amount of play at the headset was making me consider upgrading to a float 34, but with a tight headset I'm now really happy with the 32.
I'm sort of wondering if sanding steer tube or stem with a course grit sandpaper might improve the grip and get the stem working again, but now that I've rediscovered a stiff stem I have stopped really caring.
Prolly for the best.