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'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the Dale
Not a creature was stirring, not even a snail

Except for the Wheelers out cycling the tracks,
With halogen lights and battery packs

In spite of the cold, and the tracks slick and rooty,
The riding was bold, the men did their duty

When out of the North an icy wind puffed
And all of a sudden their lights were out! Snuffed!

They came to a halt all bump and a clatter
With nary a clue as t’what was th’matter

Surrounded by blackness, and no flaming lamp
A thick fog descended, a trick of the damp

An owl shrieked, a dog barked, and something said “pisss!”
They instinctively knew quite a lot was amiss

Ay up! Oh No! Cor blimey! Good Lord!
Wassup! Dunno! …kinnell! They all roared

“A puncture”, one cried, “Well that’s a relief,
We’ll soon have it fixed” his initial belief

But down in the dark, and murky wet mire
There was no way to see what caused the flat tyre

The woods were real scary, with bikes out of action,
They slipped and they stumbled and they couldn’t find traction

With panic now rising this was a to do
When out of the gloom they heard a “yoo hoo”

A fat bearded figure, in red and fur trimm’ed,
Came upon them, as the moon rose, and now brightly glimm’ed
“Ho Ho now my boys” his merry refrain
“What’s up? What’s broken? A spoke or a chain?"

“A bike has a puncture and our lights have a short, we’re really fed up” was the Wheelers retort.

Ho Ho now my lads no need to feel sick
I’ll soon have it sorted or I’m not St Nick!

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen

The Wheelers were puzzled for to be so directed
In a minute or two they clearly suspected

This bloke was a nutter, and not the real Santa
His robes seemed authentic but not his mad banter

They rallied and jeered! Then ran like the wind
Those Wheelers were spooked and weren’t listening

They galloped and jogged all night at high speed
Oblivious to darkness and absence of steed
Arriving “chez nous” they jumped into bed,
Just glad to be home and not to be dead

And there it should end this story of warning
Were it not Christmas Day, the very next morning

On rising to see what was under the tree
Each Wheeler did find a new MTB

A card was attached by Santa who wrote
Hope you like the present I’ve stuck to this note
Sorry to see you were so jittery
Next time in the woods take a spare battery!

Happy Christmas to All!

18 Posts
If you've seen the film "American Werewolf in London" you'll know how spooky the moors are in Yorkshire. Its where we ride at weekends and on Wednesday nights whatever the weather.

Formerly DMR For Life
989 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 · (Edited)
havn't seen it but i'm sure when the fog rolls in it can be pretty freaky...lucky you that you can ride i'm laid up with a sprained ankle keeping me off my bike in the beautiful weather that we're having here in western canada...have fun riding
Merry Christmas
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