[singletrack]

OK, so the last few times I've ridden the Cross, I've seen little blue plastic army men sniping me from the trees.

I'm not sure if there's a bunch of them, or just one that's moving around. Anybody else notice this?

 

[s1ngletrack]

Slick Honey should not be mixed with PBR Joel.

 

[KgB]

snipers

OK, so the last few times I've ridden the Cross, I've seen little blue plastic army men sniping me from the trees.

I'm not sure if there's a bunch of them, or just one that's moving around. Anybody else notice this?[/QUOTE

If you have more than four inches of travel,Lookout,this"conflict"has gotten even uglier
I did notice a bunch of tiny footprints in the crypto

 

[singletrack]

I'm serious! Yesterday there was one stationed in the tree-that-you-useta-hafta-duck-under. I've seen him [them] up higher on the cross as well, specifically at the bridge-rock.

Like one of these, but blue.

If I see this guy out there, I'm gonna start running Tuffies and Tru Goo.

 

[s1ngletrack]

What you need to do is this situation is make an example of one of them. Catch'm while he's off guard and chop his head off with your multi-tool, then leave him in plain sight for the others to find as a warning.

Alternatively, you could collect them and drop them into the gas tank of a special someone's Porsche during FFTF.

 

[ifallalot]

Troops went AWOL

I have some input on this... i have a friend that has repeatedly positioned a sniper (green not blue) on top of the junction rock where the holy cross splits from the tabby. His army men dissapear in a matter of days, it is quite troubling... apparently they are turning blue and hiding in trees...

 

[singletrack]

What you need to do is this situation is make an example of one of them. Catch'm while he's off guard and chop his head off with your multi-tool, then leave him in plain sight for the others to find as a warning.

Infidel!

 

[Loudpawlz]

Like one of these, but blue.

A Western version of the Gnome

Note some of the adaptations:

Smaller stature - Enables them to better hide from predators and to make it easier to sneak up on their victims. Requires much less food and water than their Mid-western brethren - perfect for harsh arid environments.

Hard, flexible exoskeleton - Less susceptible to breaking in the event of a fall on harsh, rocky terrain.

Well armed - They obviously infiltrated the enclaves of the militant anti-government groups out west and came away equipped to wreak havoc.

Inedible - A totally unpalatable genetic composition. Put fire to the little man, and rather than a tasty, slow-cooked morsel, you get a melted, homogeneous firey mass that puts off a toxic smoke.

Some things never change though - they favor garish colors and their mean-spiritedness is evident in their enslavement of the collared lizard as their beast of burden.

 

[singletrack]

I'll get proof.

If I get a chance to go out there today, I'll bring a camera. And a tinfoil hat.

When I was in 6th or 7th grade, I read a Stephen King short story - I think it was called "Battleground".

Anyway, the victim (who wronged a mysterious toy manufacturer) recieves a package, and upon opening it, little army men come out and attack him.

I remember the vivid description of the criss-crossing lacerations the victim recieves from swatting an attacking helicopter, and how the army men finally do him in.... with a built-to-scale atomic weapon with an apartment sized blast radius.

Loudpawlz: Inedible? I dunno, I think I prolly ate a few of them as a kid. I also got a raisin stuck up my nose once.

 

[s1ngletrack]

Loudpawlz: Inedible? I dunno, I think I prolly ate a few of them as a kid. I also got a raisin stuck up my nose once.

And really, what is inedible to a guy who drinks PBR?

 

[stevenfallover]

i'm going to go on recon this afternoon. Evaluate troup strength, location etc..

 

[screampint]

Sooo... What did you find today?

I won't be able to patrol 'til next week. Kids tomorrow, trailwork for the weekend, maybe Monday.

 

[screampint]

Joel, go to school; learn something. They aren't after you, it's all in your head. If you would quit drinking out of the solvent tank you wouldn't have this problem.

 

[stevenfallover]

recon complete...enemy spotted, although they seem ...he seams on the small side. There was a small fire fight, i retreated down the trail. I can see this becoming a problem if not handled quickly and with the utmost determination. My I suggest a coordinated attack, land and air. Dawn,no dust, no afternoon,say about 4:00.

 

[singletrack]

recon complete...enemy spotted, although they seem ...he seams on the small side.

Excellent work. With a few more men like you, we can overcome the Blue Menace.

Hah! I told you they were real.

 

[dustyrider]

Its a good things I still duck for that tree!

or yesterday he could have taken my eye out!

 

[CraigH]

LOL!

Here in Vancouver we have the Hamburgler lurking in the trees.

(Best pic I could find on the net)

 

[gofast]

Edible?

A Western version of the Gnome

Note some of the adaptations:

Smaller stature - Enables them to better hide from predators and to make it easier to sneak up on their victims. Requires much less food and water than their Mid-western brethren - perfect for harsh arid environments.

Hard, flexible exoskeleton - Less susceptible to breaking in the event of a fall on harsh, rocky terrain.

Well armed - They obviously infiltrated the enclaves of the militant anti-government groups out west and came away equipped to wreak havoc.

Inedible - A totally unpalatable genetic composition. Put fire to the little man, and rather than a tasty, slow-cooked morsel, you get a melted, homogeneous firey mass that puts off a toxic smoke.

Some things never change though - they favor garish colors and their mean-spiritedness is evident in their enslavement of the collared lizard as their beast of burden.

I've heard that this is what hapens when gnomes eat peyote

They're edible. You have to boil them in the ball sack of a big horn sheep. Should be served with a side of cherries jubilee.

 

[singletrack]

Plastic menace advancing

Spotted at the Widowmaker wall ride. Aparently we startled him, and he retreated just as I snapped this photo. Use caution; this intelligence is nearly 24 hours old.

 

[s1ngletrack]

Spotted at the Widowmaker wall ride. Aparently we startled him, and he retreated just as I snapped this photo. Use caution; this intelligence is nearly 24 hours old.

You'd better start carrying a lighter and a little can of Aquanet with you on your rides, never know when one of the bastidges will take it upon himself to gut you with his bayonnet.