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Zipper
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209 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
To All My Politically Correct Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Other Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :thumbsup:
 

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Meatbomb
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7,822 Posts
You forgot the disclaimer :

*DISCLAIMER

By accepting this greeting you are accepting the terms of the greeting and all responsibility associated with it. This greeting is subject to clarification and/or revocation at any time at the discretion of the wisher. This greeting is non-transferable without the express written consent of the wisher. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for him/herself or for others. This greeting is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. Warranty is limited to replacement of this greeting or issuance of a new greeting at the sole discretion of the wisher, who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress this greeting may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.

By accepting this greeting you agree to subscribe to annual updates at a cost completely arbitrary to the wisher at the time of renewal. Failure to subscribe - in effect, failure to renew this greeting - will result in forfeiture of the original greeting, loss of your parents' homes, euthanasia for your and your neighbors' pets, and prosecution in a kangaroo court of law comprised of the wisher's closest friends and paid business associates, convened by the wisher at a location deemed most inconvenient to you. Reading of this disclaimer constitutes your acceptance of the greeting. This disclaimer supersedes all local, state and federal laws previously enacted to prevent such disclaimers from superseding all local, state and federal laws.
 

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Master Gardener
Joined
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1,347 Posts
Don't worry- you're safe from any PC firestorm around here unless you bring up mudflaps or the silhouetted images of a female body.
 
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