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Lay off the Levers
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10,127 Posts
IMO, owning the word "Homer" would be like owning the color blue.
POINTLESS!!!
-Nobody's gonna believe you
-Nobody's gonna care
-You'll only annoy people whenever you point out "Hey, we had it first!"

It's the internet...popular concepts often take on a life of their own.
 

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Registered
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1,420 Posts
It is not about who owns it....

Bikezilla said:
IMO, owning the word "Homer" would be like owning the color blue.
POINTLESS!!!
-Nobody's gonna believe you
-Nobody's gonna care
-You'll only annoy people whenever you point out "Hey, we had it first!"

It's the internet...popular concepts often take on a life of their own.
The word Homer has brand equity in this forum and it is spreding out. Anyone can use it, but it does not sound right.
Like Trek Homer? What? Bianchi Homer? Iron Horse Homer? Specialized Homer? Turner Homer - Woo hoo!!!!!!!!!! The Homers now and forever will be Homers (Turner owners). It just happened like that. Why were humans (**** sapiens) created? ? It just happened over time.... The mokeys where first and then us....:cool:
Homers - evolution at its best.

I had no idea how the Homer thing began, but I knew the Turner riders where Homers. In the Yeti forum everyone knows what a Homer is. Even when I was still riding my Gary Fishe Sugar 1 I knew who the Homers were. And I said, some day I willl ........
 

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\|/Home of the Braves\|/
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1,926 Posts
IMO - They can be "homers" about their bikes if they want to.
At least their brand begins with "T". Not like that other brand a couple letters down the alphabet...



I'M KIDDING, OK :D
 

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Lay off the Levers
Joined
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10,127 Posts
It's all good ZR... I know what you're getting at... you just now got to be a Homer and all of a sudden the name is all over the place like El Chingon's $10 Rolexx :D

I'm just saying there's way too much fun going on for me to worry about what the ever-thirsty non-KoolAid-drinkers are doing.
As long as Tony doesn't try to grab it and sell it back to us...
 

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thats right living legend
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6,360 Posts
Homers? are you kidding?

Most of you long time homers are being pretty cool and could care less, realizing that "NO ONE" on mtbr is ever going to be confused about who the homers are. But some of you little candy asses need to get out from behind your comp screen and out to a ball game or two, like a real man. Homer means what it means, anyone can be a homer for anything of anything. The actual term wich no one team or bike "own" can be used to discribe anyone who wants to use it...
 

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\|/Home of the Braves\|/
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1,926 Posts
royta said:
This thread is embarassing. I'm selling my bike. :)
You'll need to get a good price. Think of the therapy you'd need if yoou were picking out a new frame :p

Somewhat off the subject... A guy rode up to me as I was getting the Spot ready for a ride and said he'd been thinking about a Flux. I'm assuming you're liking yours! Of course I told him to get it, I am a homer after all :D
 

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We're going down WHAT??
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319 Posts
That was the best thing said on this thread....

royta said:
This thread is embarassing. I'm selling my bike. :)
Reading this makes me think about taking up another sport. This is borderline humiliating.. and I don't even own a Turner.... I can't stop laughing... Or crying.. not sure what to make of this.... :rolleyes:
 

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Natl. Champ DH Poser/Hack
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12,942 Posts
Handy 'Homer' guide

Heres a great post that explains some of the terms we use around this joint. it was originally posted by its creator, the always entertaining CDtofer, or "Tosser" to his friends. acctually, thats a lie. i call him that.

To save everyone from answering questions here is a quick reference guide posted for new owners. By no means exhaustive, just thought I would post some things while sitting here waiting for another useless conf call to start at work.

Homer Name History

There are other commonly used words/phrases by the in-the-know crowd:

UGI - hopefully self explanatory (Up Grade Itis)
FMB - Full Metal Boner - what you get when you get you new Turner
Smurf - nickname for a prolific poster on this board, might have something to do with his size (SSinGA)
Kool aid is in the corner - our way of welcoming new members that have fallen into the fold

There are certain 'key' Homer personalities:
Cheezy - Frankenmaster, the original Turner Homer
Zilla - Blingmaster
JnC - Ninjamaster
DGC - Oilmaster
ElChignon - Speedomaster (Leader of Team Sanchez, see note below)
SSinGA - Master of all things Krispy Kreme
Renegade - MasterInstigator
cactuscorn - ??? ran out of witty things to say but know he belongs here
Aquaholic - Rockmaster, Skirtmaster (Homer at large)
SqueakyWheel - Push Paparrazzi

Special mention(Self haters club):
Davide - Sommelier (w(h)ine specialist)
DustyButtoms - In denial Homer, Homer court Jester

Other important things to understand:
Clown Crap -- stupid and pointless drivel, often quite entertaining, regularly gets posted on Fridays
FrankenTurner -- very popular idea of late, whereby front triangle of one type of bike is matched with a different rear tri+rockers. Mix and match approach to get what you want from your bike. SEE - '5 pack', 'Spack' and yes even 'SpaaNB' (Six Pack and a Nickle Bag)
Team Sanchez -- Homer Drop Squad, a group that uses the suspension of their collective 6 Packs to its fullest potential. Spend their time hucking, usually drops to flat.

Format of new Turner pics - Not complete until you have 3 shots:
1) Frame on furniture (especially couches)
2) Garage shot (built or partially built, preferably leaning against garage door)
3) Au naturel (new bike posted in its natural habitat)
 

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not so super...
Joined
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11,466 Posts
cactuscorn said:
Heres a great post that explains some of the terms we use around this joint. it was originally posted by its creator, the always entertaining CDtofer, or "Tosser" to his friends. acctually, thats a lie. i call him that.

To save everyone from answering questions here is a quick reference guide posted for new owners. By no means exhaustive, just thought I would post some things while sitting here waiting for another useless conf call to start at work.

Homer Name History

There are other commonly used words/phrases by the in-the-know crowd:

UGI - hopefully self explanatory (Up Grade Itis)
FMB - Full Metal Boner - what you get when you get you new Turner
Smurf - nickname for a prolific poster on this board, might have something to do with his size (SSinGA)
Kool aid is in the corner - our way of welcoming new members that have fallen into the fold

There are certain 'key' Homer personalities:
Cheezy - Frankenmaster, the original Turner Homer
Zilla - Blingmaster
JnC - Ninjamaster
DGC - Oilmaster
ElChignon - Speedomaster (Leader of Team Sanchez, see note below)
SSinGA - Master of all things Krispy Kreme
Renegade - MasterInstigator
cactuscorn - ??? ran out of witty things to say but know he belongs here
Aquaholic - Rockmaster, Skirtmaster (Homer at large)
SqueakyWheel - Push Paparrazzi

Special mention(Self haters club):
Davide - Sommelier (w(h)ine specialist)
DustyButtoms - In denial Homer, Homer court Jester

Other important things to understand:
Clown Crap -- stupid and pointless drivel, often quite entertaining, regularly gets posted on Fridays
FrankenTurner -- very popular idea of late, whereby front triangle of one type of bike is matched with a different rear tri+rockers. Mix and match approach to get what you want from your bike. SEE - '5 pack', 'Spack' and yes even 'SpaaNB' (Six Pack and a Nickle Bag)
Team Sanchez -- Homer Drop Squad, a group that uses the suspension of their collective 6 Packs to its fullest potential. Spend their time hucking, usually drops to flat.

Format of new Turner pics - Not complete until you have 3 shots:
1) Frame on furniture (especially couches)
2) Garage shot (built or partially built, preferably leaning against garage door)
3) Au naturel (new bike posted in its natural habitat)
How about the CCU - CactusCoot Unit.
 

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Lay off the Levers
Joined
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10,127 Posts
Getting it all in one place...

Newbike picture ratings:
leaning on inside of garage door 0.5pts
leaning on outside of garage door 1pts
leaning on family room couch 2pts
perched on family room couch 3pts
leaning on livingroom couch (y'know the one nobody's allowed to sit on) 4pts
perched on livingrom couch 5pts
Trailside/action shots 6pts

Any shots of bike w/ S.O. add +2pts, +4 if she's hot, +6 if she's riding it, +10 if she's a better rider than you.

Drinking rules:
No Kool-Aid served until pictures are posted.
Koolaid points exchange:
2pts=dixie cup
4pts=glass
6pts=mug
8pts=stein
10+ = a long straw and a chair in front of the punch bowl

Creativity points awarded:


Special Bonus "Danger points": Bike perched on expensive, easily damaged furniture.


Building shrines is NOT encouraged.

 

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Bite Me.
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4,531 Posts
Here's the Taxonomic Classification of a Homer according to the Linnaean System:

Homer Turnerensis:

Kingdom - Animalia
Phylum - Chordata
Class - Mammalia
Order - Primates
Family - Hominidae
Genus - Bicyclensis Montana
Species - Homer
Sub-Species - Turnerensis

The term "Homer" is the shortened common nomenclature for the subspecies Homer Turnerensis of the Genus of two wheeled bi-pedal organisms generally known as "Mountain Bikers". What separates Homer Turnerensis from the generic order of mountain bikers are several behavioral and biological anomalies that have arisen as evolutionary mutations from a common ancestral genetic pool.

"Homers" are uniformly known to locomote via a sophisticated bi-pedal mechanism characterized by a rigid front aluminum triangle mated to rear triangle composed of four (4) support struts or "stays" actuated by "rockers" bolted to the main frame. A "Horst" linkage first appeared as the primogenetic form followed recently by a "TNT" variant of the organism. Scientific debate currently rages whether this evolutionary mutation constitutes a competitive advantage, an evolutionary neutral variation, or a genetic back sliding to more primitive designs.

Socially, Homers are distinguished by pronounced group or "cult-like" communal behaviors. Homers are characterized by frequent episodes of "UGI", a compulsive activity involving frequent acquisition of shiny objects, or "Bling", to adorn an individual Homer's locomotive mechanisms. Although an individual behavior, UGI is actually a group experience, and the tribe or cult is always involved in a ritual "show and tell" for each new acquisition. Homers tend to travel in packs, and are known to convene annually or often bi-annually in "gatherings" or "fests" where UGI and Bling behaviors can reach alarming levels. Homers are also known for "poseur snob" activity in which UGI and Bling attributes are used disparagingly to demean or obtain mating advantages over other less advanced members of the Bicyclensis Montana genera. There is no compellng evidence that this behavior results in any actual biological advantage, although it has been known to engender rage and disgust in others.

The typical Homer diet consists of three main food items: donuts, beer and tequila. When not engaged in eating or drinking, Homers do occasionally exhibit "ride" behaviors, either singularly or in groups. Some members of the species appear to be attempting flight - see, variant Homer Turnerensis Shaheeb or ElChingon. Other variants show great facility with tools and tool making, see, Homer Turnerensis Tscheezy. Mating behavior is generally unknown. Homers tend to be males predominantly although at least two females have been observed. Offspring have also been observed - known as "proto-homers". Homers have no known predators, but several enemies,. Most notable of these is the Tonius Ellsworthianus, a particularly predatory and dangerous creature (see Litigatious Patentus).
 

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Amphibious Technologies
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3,472 Posts
cutthroat said:
Homer Turnerensis
The non-scientific definition would likely be - "30 something year old doctor/real estate agent/makes a lot of money and doesn't have a scratch on their bike or Lexus/Rover/BMW/Mercedes/Audi/Porsche - poseur for short"
 
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