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Fart smeller
Paid to post this crap.
19,859 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Yeah, the kids are stoked about riding the trails up there, and it looks like sunshine and mild temps, so I thought I'd take them to the trailhead and let them loose. All four of my kids are fairly well versed in mountain biking, and I've got other things on my mind (child support, that silly endangerment thingy) so I'll be sitting this one out, so yeah, they should be able to finish the 18+ mile ride in a little over 3 hours, don't you think? I'll just wait in the car and look at my phone, call the ex while they ride and hope for the best. They should be plenty tuckered out for the drive home.

The youngest is 4 and the oldest boy is almost 7. They've been schooled in getting lost, as I've tried to lose them several times in the past, and I've gotten real good at screaming "JUST KIDDING!!! Daddy's almost out of money, but JUST KIDDING!!!"

Hey, kids! Remember:

Don't panic. "The first thing to do is keep calm." No CRYING! Your dad packed that tent and emergency blanket in your backpack. Whaddya mean, what backpack? Hey, not my fault you didn't double-check your stuff before we left. No, you won't need to bring anything to eat- you just had breakfast, remember?

Follow the water downstream. "If you can hike, keep moving on a straight course until you reach running water." Snow is just frozen water, right? Cover your body with it and your body heat will melt it, then you can drink it. It's like a forever faucet!

"Use your map and compass to figure out where you are. A topographic or 3-D map is the best kind to carry." Shoot, I forgot to pack the compass & maps last night, oh well. Sun's in the east, or something. Remember your Cub Scouts meeting when they told you about directions and then I started yelling at your mom? Kinda like that.

Here's a neat video I found last night on the Donner Party. It's a fun watch.
Now, go to bed! Sweet dreams! I'll get you up for the trip at 4 a.m.

Have fun, kids! Daddy loves you!

(Any hot chicks out there wanna start [and maybe finish] a family?)
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