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ernesto_from_Wisconsin said:
Nothing like having a visit from the fart fairy while having a major cough attack from swallowing wrong and soiling my baby blue Hanes underwear...dammit!

Yesterday a crack on the hip...today, bodily functions and fluids gone wrong...

When will Wisconsin escape the winter's icy grip?
Hay peliculas??
 

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ernesto_from_Wisconsin said:
Nothing like having a visit from the fart fairy while having a major cough attack from swallowing wrong and soiling my baby blue Hanes underwear...dammit!

Yesterday a crack on the hip...today, bodily functions and fluids gone wrong...

When will Wisconsin escape the winter's icy grip?
Hehe.

I had a similar incident (but very minor I swear!) while practicing lacrosse. I lunged will all my available strength, which apparently included my fart muscles. No one else ever knew, but it sure felt funny to me

Now you know
 

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Knuckle Smuggler
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i just had a scary close call everyone should be warned about. while sitting on my SS at the trailhead, i felt a little poot of gas that required passing. i attempted to pop it out and be done with it, but i'll be dogged if i didn't feel a little squish. i clinched but it was too little too late, and the shot snuck past the goalie. my second line of defense, my butt cheeks was the last chance at preventing soil from touching my undies. as i waddle-walked to the toilet all i felt was a greasy mass. the bathroom was near and luckily unoccupied. into the stall i went and wasted no time taking a seat to evaluate the situation and perform damage control. my buns of steel training finally paid off. my drawers were clean and the mudslide was isolated to between the cheeks and all i needed to do is clear that area. my hemorrhoid was completely buried but with the first pass of paper excavation it could breathe again. however, the mud was deep enough that the first swipe mainly just spread things around. i should have used the grab and lift method but instead i wiped. i was in deep now and just had to repeat the process over and over. about a roll and a half later, the job was done and i let out a little sigh of relief and wiped a bead of nervous sweat from my brow. unfortunately i neglected to flush part way through the decontamination process and the bowl looked dangerously filled with a brown paper slurry. i had no choice, flush and pray, and run away. as i left the water closet the commode was still making an effort, but to be honest i don't know how it turned out. so be careful, this could have been a whole lot worse.
 
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