[Jisch]

For the last two years or so I've been riding with the same two folks, more or less. One of the riders, I'll call him Old Friend I've been riding with on and off for probably 15 years, the other, I'll call him, New Friend I've been riding with for about 2 years.

OF is the kind of rider who rarely maintains his bike and is constantly riding an impaired bike. However, this does not bother him and, for the most part, his bike holds up during rides. Its not unusual for his bike to have only two working gears, no air in the shock etc, etc. Even with this handicap he's a very strong rider (used to race expert) and he likes to hammer. He's definitely above my ability in all categories. Besides riding, he's also a friend of mine. He's very selfish though and rides are on his terms or he whines. With just the two of us riding, that's rarely an issue as I can ride somewhat on his terms - a couple of breaks in a 3 hour ride.

NF is the kind of rider who maintains his bike before, during and after every ride. He's constantly tinkering with his bike to make it perfect. One skipping gear means a complete drive train strip down during the ride. When we ride without OF, its ok, we're pretty evenly matched, maybe I can ride a bit faster up hill and slightly better on the real tech stuff, but he blows me away on the downhills.

Here's the problem - OF and NF fight like six year old siblings on the trail. NF propensity to tear his bike apart slows the rides down, and it frustrates OF to no end. OF likes to hammer harder which drives NF to the brink of bonking.

I guess I'm not sure what to do. At this point I'm unsure what to do... any suggestions?

John

 

[pacman]

I think the selfish whiner would be too much on any ride, even without NF.

 

[forkboy]

Here's the problem - OF and NF fight like six year old siblings on the trail. NF propensity to tear his bike apart slows the rides down, and it frustrates OF to no end. OF likes to hammer harder which drives NF to the brink of bonking.

I think OF already has it figgered out. When people annoy the hell out of me on a ride, I just step it up a notch. When they are gasping for air they can't get on your nerves as badly.

Aside from that, WTF - are you their mother? Let them sort it out. Eventually either one or the other will opt-out of the "group" ride if they can't stand it, then arrange to ride with them individually.

 

[habernac]

I think there's a time and a place to do a complete overhaul of your bike. And the middle of a ride is not a great choice. Before a ride wouldn't be terrific either. After the ride would be my choice. Unless, of course, the bike isn't working at all.

Or it might be easier to ride with either of your friends, just not with both of them. They have almost totally opposite views on things by the sound of it.

 

[yogreg]

For the last two years or so I've been riding with the same two folks, more or less. One of the riders, I'll call him Old Friend I've been riding with on and off for probably 15 years, the other, I'll call him, New Friend I've been riding with for about 2 years.

OF is the kind of rider who rarely maintains his bike and is constantly riding an impaired bike. However, this does not bother him and, for the most part, his bike holds up during rides. Its not unusual for his bike to have only two working gears, no air in the shock etc, etc. Even with this handicap he's a very strong rider (used to race expert) and he likes to hammer. He's definitely above my ability in all categories. Besides riding, he's also a friend of mine. He's very selfish though and rides are on his terms or he whines. With just the two of us riding, that's rarely an issue as I can ride somewhat on his terms - a couple of breaks in a 3 hour ride.

NF is the kind of rider who maintains his bike before, during and after every ride. He's constantly tinkering with his bike to make it perfect. One skipping gear means a complete drive train strip down during the ride. When we ride without OF, its ok, we're pretty evenly matched, maybe I can ride a bit faster up hill and slightly better on the real tech stuff, but he blows me away on the downhills.

Here's the problem - OF and NF fight like six year old siblings on the trail. NF propensity to tear his bike apart slows the rides down, and it frustrates OF to no end. OF likes to hammer harder which drives NF to the brink of bonking.

I guess I'm not sure what to do. At this point I'm unsure what to do... any suggestions?

John

Short of not riding all together here is what you do.

Have a "Nice" talk with OF and tell him to mellow out a bit on pace sometimes and maintain his bike. If he wants to hammer, that is fine. Just be prepared to wait a little for the rest of you guys who don't hammer. That is what riding in a group is all about. It is about the group. Not the individual.

Have ther same "nice" talk with NF and tell him to be a little less anal about his bike and enjoy the ride. Fix your bike at home, unless there is a major problem that would prohibit him from riding the bike.

Personally I have run into these problems in the past and have found that communication is the key.

Good luck

Greg

 

[tlg]

Why do OF and NF have to be each others friend? I'd say ride with either of them, but not both at the same time.

Personally I'd prefer to ride alone than with either of them. When OF is being selfish or whining I'd have to fight myself from pushing him off a cliff. When NF is performing his trailside overhaul I'd leave his a$$ there and go on alone.

 

[Lighty_]

Step 1: Tell OF to chill out, and be a little considerate of other people. Ride on other people's terms once in a while and don't whine.

Step 2: Tell NF to chill out, and be a little more considerate of other people. Don't waste their ride time by tickering with his bike on the trail.

 

[Fast Eddy]

I agree with tlg

I'd spread out the riding partners over twice as many rides and avoid the conflicts all together. It sounds like you get along with each one ok. Leave it at that.

I guess I won't be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize again this year...

 

[tlg]

I guess I won't be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize again this year...

Why not? If they're not together, they won't fight. Sounds peaceful to me

 

[KRob]

I'd spread out the riding partners over twice as many rides and avoid the conflicts all together. It sounds like you get along with each one ok. Leave it at that.

Ride alone or with either one.... not both.

 

[Nat]

For the last two years or so I've been riding with the same two folks, more or less. One of the riders, I'll call him Old Friend I've been riding with on and off for probably 15 years, the other, I'll call him, New Friend I've been riding with for about 2 years.

OF is the kind of rider who rarely maintains his bike and is constantly riding an impaired bike. However, this does not bother him and, for the most part, his bike holds up during rides. Its not unusual for his bike to have only two working gears, no air in the shock etc, etc. Even with this handicap he's a very strong rider (used to race expert) and he likes to hammer. He's definitely above my ability in all categories. Besides riding, he's also a friend of mine. He's very selfish though and rides are on his terms or he whines. With just the two of us riding, that's rarely an issue as I can ride somewhat on his terms - a couple of breaks in a 3 hour ride.

NF is the kind of rider who maintains his bike before, during and after every ride. He's constantly tinkering with his bike to make it perfect. One skipping gear means a complete drive train strip down during the ride. When we ride without OF, its ok, we're pretty evenly matched, maybe I can ride a bit faster up hill and slightly better on the real tech stuff, but he blows me away on the downhills.

Here's the problem - OF and NF fight like six year old siblings on the trail. NF propensity to tear his bike apart slows the rides down, and it frustrates OF to no end. OF likes to hammer harder which drives NF to the brink of bonking.

I guess I'm not sure what to do. At this point I'm unsure what to do... any suggestions?

John

Man, that makes me all tight in the chest just thinking of having to deal with either one of them. How about setting up a ride but not showing up? Maybe OF and NF will kill each other when they ride together without you. Then you're a free man a-walkin'!

 

[shiggy]

Man, that makes me all tight in the chest just thinking of having to deal with either one of them. How about setting up a ride but not showing up? Maybe OF and NF will kill each other when they ride together without you. Then you're a free man a-walkin'!

LOL! Good plan. Let them work it out without you.

 

[lucifer]

I think you should all start riding rigid singlespeeds...

 

[Ken in KC]

High Maintenance Friends

You're a better person than me. I couldn't handle such high maintenance riding buddies.

 

[Nat]

I think you should all start riding rigid singlespeeds...

Perfect! That'd get rid of all of Jisch's sorority sisters' squabbling.

 

[endoMaster]

RIde with one or the other but not with both of them at the same time. For me, riding helps as therapy. It allows me to ignore the stress of the day and just decompress. The last thing I want to do on a ride is referee two adults who are acting like 6 year olds.

 

[radair]

I think the selfish whiner would be too much on any ride, even without NF.

Actually, I found this guy to be a really good sh!t, neither selfish nor a whiner. Damn good rider, too. They both seemed like pretty strong personalities, no surprise that they might not get along.

Can't help you Jisch. Tell 'em to stop and talk about safety, maybe they'd mellow out.

 

[rzozaya1969]

I have friends of several skill levels. I just turn rides, one weekend with someone and the other with another group, depending if I want to ride hard or take it easy.

I'd say, let each of your friends have their own personalities (I don't think they are going to allow you modify it, jejeje), and depending on what kind of ride you want, go with either, or neither, of them. Like most said, you don't have to go with them together.

Regarding their bike care abilities, while I think both are the extremes, joke with them about it and don't care too much about it. They're not your responsability, if they start fighting, maybe make bets with another friend (AF) about who would win that round. Maybe that way you may suport easier your biking habit

 

[Jisch]

Thanks for the help...

I've done just about everything you guys have suggested, kidding around serious confrontations, riding away from both of them when they are fighting. I suppose the thing is they are both right. OF selfishness is a PITA sometimes, NF anal behavior is a PITA all of the time. If I think about it, I could ride with OF forever and not have a problem. NF, even when we ride alone, drives me a little crazy with his constant tweaking. I'm going to lay it out for both of them on the next ride. I like solo rides, but only every once in a while.

Ken - they are not "high maintenance" alone, its only when they are together when things get ugly.

Radair - you rode with each individually, I should have you come along and see the circus sometime. I'll bet for someone not in the middle of it, it would be funny.

Nat - if the man to man to man talk doesn't work, that's a capital idea.

Thanks again for the suggestions,
John

 

[wooglin]

If I think about it, I could ride with OF forever and not have a problem. NF, even when we ride alone, drives me a little crazy with his constant tweaking.

Uh-huh. Yup.