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Freeriding Feline
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"Are you surprised Clark?"
"Eddie, if I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now."

- National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
 

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Too many from Christmas Vacation, but I like...

Hey Griswald, where you gonna put a tree that big?

Bend over and I'll show ya.

You have a lot of nerve talking to me like that!

I wasn't talking to you (Clark gestures toward the guy's wife).

:D
 

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How could we forget....

"No way kid, you'll shoot your eye out!"

From A Christmas Story

Bob
 

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Anything from Christmas Vacation, most notably the speech ending "Where's the tylenol!" (I actually listened to the entire rant once and had it typed out.)

"Lotta sap in here. Little full, lotta sap."

"Can't see the line can you, Russ?"
 

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SuperKat7 said:
"Are you surprised Clark?"
"Eddie, if I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now."

- National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
"Oh F U D G E!...Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word! "

Ralph, A Christmas Story
 

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Am I getting too bulky?
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Harry: Why the hell did you take your shoes off?
Marv: Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?
 

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Margot was hot!

oddestfellow said:
Hey Griswald, where you gonna put a tree that big?

Bend over and I'll show ya.

You have a lot of nerve talking to me like that!

I wasn't talking to you (Clark gestures toward the guy's wife).

:D
no tree up the rear could take that away from her.. whiner husband had to go though.
 

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those are Rollercams...
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Cletus said:
"Look, we serve hard liquor for men who want to get drunk fast..."
- Mr. Martini, the bartender, from It's a Wonderful Life
Actually, that line was spoken by Nick the bartender from Martini's Bar, not Martini. (read my signature)

Some of my favorites, from A Christmas Story...

"It's a major award!"

Father: "Why, it might be a bowling alley!"
Mother:"They're going to deliver a bowling alley?"

"It must be Italian, it says F-R-A-G-I-L-E on it."

From It's a Wonderful Life...

"Bring me a nice mulled wine, not too heavy on the cloves and be quick about it."

From Christmas Vacation...

"It's a bit nipply out."

"Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, kiss my a$$, kiss his a$$..."
 

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Stan: You guys, I'm getting that John Elway football helmet for Christmas.
Cartman: How do you know?
Stan: 'Cause I looked in my parents' closet last night.
Cartman: Yeah, well I sneaked around my mum's closet too and saw what I'm getting. The Ultravibe Pleasure 2000.
Stan: What's that?
Cartman: I don't know but it sounds pretty sweet
Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo episode #9
 

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"Ride Lots" - Eddie Mercx
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from a new classic

"A couple of days ago, I was in, uh, Women's Big & Tall. And, uh, I heard these, um, you know, these noises. And I heard a woman screaming, 'Yeah. Oh, yeah.'. And I heard his voice saying, 'That's right. You ain't going to S-H-I-T right for a month.'."

I've seen some pretty sh!tty situations in my life, but nothing has ever sucked more ass than this

If I'd known I was gonna have to put up with screaming brats pissing on my lap for 30 days out of the year, I would have killed myself a long time ago. Come to think of it, I still might."

YR
 

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Unshaven Yak
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DoctorJD said:
Narrator, on Ralphies Dad:

"He worked in profanities the way some artists work with water colors."
I love it, "HOSTICLEFEIFER!!" (eminated from the basement as smoke poured from the vent)

"You'll shoot your eye out kid"
 

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Christmas Movies? I wanna play.

[Reading what McClane wrote on the dead terrorist's shirt.]

Hans Gruber: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

Die Hard (1988)

Later
 

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"A Christmas Story"... best dang holdiay movie ever!!!

"The line waiting to see Santa Claus stretched all the way back to Terre Haute. And I was at the end of it." - narrator Ralphie

"The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey A La King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!" - narrator Ralphie

"Deck the halls with boughs of horry, ra ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra" - waiters at Chinese Restaraunt

"He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny." - Ralphie's Father
 

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Excellent

bh357 said:
"A Christmas Story"... best dang holdiay movie ever!!!

"The line waiting to see Santa Claus stretched all the way back to Terre Haute. And I was at the end of it." - narrator Ralphie

"The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey A La King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!" - narrator Ralphie

"Deck the halls with boughs of horry, ra ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra" - waiters at Chinese Restaraunt

"He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny." - Ralphie's Father
I'm smiling here reading all the quotes. Now I have to go home and watch A Christmas Story.
 
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