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Drinker w/ Riding Problem
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Here are my Predictions for this years Pisgah Mountain Bike Adventure Race





Eric and Erinna let the wedding celebration continue because there is still booze left over from last weekend



Running late, as usual, Broussard gets a ticket for doing 92 in 35 zone. Phear!!



Team Dicky takes a pre-race spill in the parking lot, much to the delight of arch rival Broussard



Tomato after losing his contact lens, and dead headlamp batteries, decides to burn his teammate to find his way to the Finish



Gabe and Thad with their latest fixie creation. It doesn't take long for them to realize there are major flaws in their design, and fail to get a good start.



Jeremy is stoked, rockin' bigwheels... "I'm riding for the devil!"



D****zzz gets stung by a nest of yellow-jackets, and suffers allergic reaction.



Team 'Rhymes with Bucket' snaps and says "Fuggit", and starts taking out the competition



Team Happy Go Racing shows up to the event, but takes their keg with'em



Team WTF? gets lost in the South Mills River Area



Peter prepares for a long night in the woods, and second guesses himself on lighting sources.



SingletrackPig destroys the bondoWily completely



TeamDicky / Thorazine / ergon / i9 / maddog regrets his choices of hydration pack / gear ratio / jersey color / sleeves - no sleeves / sunglasses tint combo / wheel choice / bike selection



Josh the Wonderboy is always ready for anything, but Dicky's poor navigation skills lead to a poor finish



Team Vassago Goat / Deadliest Snatch comes in a close third



Team Endless Bikes unveil their ultimate poachin' machine. They come in 2nd hitting all of the CPs, and even stop for an hour for a yoga session.



King of Pisgah and the Stick win it, with Wes carrying Stick the whole race.



a blind Tomato after a respectable finish says "Lets get this Party Started B!tches" :p



Words brado will hear more than once, by some scary locals offering to tie up his partner as a practical joke; all the while drinking PBRs and Sparx, listening to CCR's Better run through the Jungle (extended dance mix)

So lets get it on :thumbsup:
 

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Thanx Brado!

It's rare that I laugh out loud that hard at my computer screen but those pix are the greatest! :thumbsup: And by the way, thanx for gettin the ball rollin on some fresh sh*t-talkin! One can only hope this one goes as well as the Icycle post...
After spending so much time thinking about how to prepare for the race, the only solution I found was one of collective destruction. If none of us finish we all win, right? I've spent the last week or so pushin down big trees all over the trails so I can only hope my plan works... :ihih:
As I back up, I'm hiding Sparx and PBRs along all the trails and then tying my rig to CurtSlow and we'll kick everybody's ass for sure!! :cornut:

I was gonna say 'good luck' to everyone, however, i changed my mind to 'be safe' instead...

;)
 

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Official Cooler Inspector
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The no longer secret weapon that could do in Tomato and Brado: The Contact Lense Sucking Finger Eating Machine! Refering to the canine....

:eek:

:cornut:
 

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Since noone is really good at smack talking I want to know which teams are going to win the following rewards:


Furthest distance traveled to the event:

Furthest distance traveled during the race without reaching a single check point:

Late edit: I suck so back I can't even spell wrestling. I hate you guyz.

Post-Race burrito wresting champion:


You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?
 

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Jackbooted Elitist Hipstr
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At least we might win something!

My ringer/natural blood doper/flying in from his CO home at 6,200 feet partner may put us in the running for farthest distance traveled.

Of course all the beer drinking, smoking and whoring we'll be doing from next Tuesday through Friday may negate any of his high hematocrit levels.;)

I think we should also have an award for fewest cumulative hours of sleep in the 2 weeks prior to the race. Might have a shot at that too. I have a theory that new mother's milk could be a secret weapon for endurance races...

I'm so looking forward to having a great time again this year. It's been funny to see everyone getting semi serious about this thing.

Good luck suckers!

Team Chuck Norris' Choade, training at the Crested Butte 100 last year.
 

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Was that a Sonic Boom??

I'm so stong. . .

How strong am I you say?

I'm so strong that when my calf muscles begin cramping after four hours that it will cause sonic booms that will clear cut the woods for hundreds of yards, crush all of your eardrums and dislodge your retinas. You will all be bleeding from your eyes!!! Ha Ha Ha. And I of course will be a quivering cramping mess.

Double D Domination.

out.
 

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uh, uh...oh, i forget
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extrmtao said:
Since noone is really good at smack talking I want to know which teams are going to win the following rewards:

Furthest distance traveled to the event:

You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?
i'm coming from massasuchy cause DFL is too easy where i live:p
 

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Award winners..

extrmtao said:
Since noone is really good at smack talking I want to know which teams are going to win the following rewards:

Furthest distance traveled to the event:

Furthest distance traveled during the race without reaching a single check point:

Late edit: I suck so back I can't even spell wrestling. I hate you guyz.

Post-Race burrito wresting champion:

You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?
Dos Idiots win" Most pedal revolutions"
 

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www.lugoftheirish.com
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There are three and a half teams rolling down from Indiana. At 500 miles a person, that is 3500 miles. Does that count? We have all been training at altitude here in the mountains of Indianapolis so our blood is as thick as pudding and teeming with red blood cells.

Crossroads Racing is only trying to beat Drunkey the Clown and Sideshow Stew. The rest of you are safe.
 

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Loretta said:
There are three and a half teams rolling down from Indiana. At 500 miles a person, that is 3500 miles. Does that count? We have all been training at altitude here in the mountains of Indianapolis so our blood is as thick as pudding and teeming with red blood cells.

Crossroads Racing is only trying to beat Drunkey the Clown and Sideshow Stew. The rest of you are safe.
BACK HOME AGAIN IN INDIANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. . .

All my family lives in Indy, I am the only errrrrr "smart" one :cool:
 

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Drinker w/ Riding Problem
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Loretta said:
There are three and a half teams rolling down from Indiana. At 500 miles a person, that is 3500 miles. Does that count? We have all been training at altitude here in the mountains of Indianapolis so our blood is as thick as pudding and teeming with red blood cells.

Crossroads Racing is only trying to beat Drunkey the Clown and Sideshow Stew. The rest of you are safe.
Another "Hoosier Daddy?" well not originally from there, but went to school there.
 

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Drinker w/ Riding Problem
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Singletrack Pig said:
My ringer/natural blood doper/flying in from his CO home at 6,200 feet partner may put us in the running for farthest distance traveled.

Team Chuck Norris' Choade
JasonB aint gonna help you Jody, because it's obvious he'll be suffering from decompression sickness,



Team Chuck Norris' Chode, Huh?
 
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