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Don't worry, be happy!
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Women admit eyes on hunks

Jaimee Rose
Arizona Republic
June 27, 2006

So, the United States is out of the World Cup. Boohoo. Now, let's go to
espn.com and find pictures of David Beckham whipping off his shirt.

All week, many American women have been playing wink-wink with the World
Cup, coyly pretending to be caught up in the global celebration of
international sport. Sure, Honey, you can watch the game. Let me sit next to
you and we'll watch together. Let me hold your beer. Let me rub your feet.

All along, this passion has been about something else entirely: watching the
international festival of six-packs and reveling in soccer-player lust.

The Americans were just a distraction. It's as if the gods of the universe
rounded up all the pretty men on the planet, plunked them in Germany and put
them in shorts. Why don't we live in Ghana? Croatia? Serbia and Montenegro?
And oh, Lordy, have you seen the Italians?

All these brawny boys on the screen, chiseled and muscled and universally
bronzed - it's like the Mr. Universe pageant, with sweat and no words. What
more can you ask for from your TV?

There's even all that heated shirt removal, which seems to be what
footballers do to cool off instead of pouring water over their heads. For
this alone, soccer is the best sport of all time. Just try to find a photo
of Argentina's Javier Saviola where he's not running about, indulging his
habit of yanking up his shirt every time he gets mad-happy-overheated, and
in turn giving the world a glimpse of some serious abdominal achievement. At
a bridal shower in between bites of dainty white-frosted cupcakes, Beth
Scheall of Chandler, Ariz., and a gaggle of girls skipped the dress chatter
and got down to the nitty-gritties: discussing the varied loveliness of the
Mexican and Italian soccer teams.

"The physique and athletic build was just amazing to us," says Scheall, 25.
"I don't think I've ever met a soccer player that wasn't hot - outside of my
brother. They just have the best bodies."

And did you catch the replays of Mexican President Vicente Fox doing a very
weird dance to celebrate goals, with his wife, Marta Sahagun, looking ever
so chipper by his side?

In soccer, there is nothing to impede the view. No football helmets or
baseball caps. No shoulder pads. No hockey masks.

Tell us again why this sport isn't more popular in the United States,
because women of the world are onto this and have done excellent work
virtually scrapbooking soccer beauty.

If Italian goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon is your fave, you can go to
buffononline.com and download screen savers, or click into the chat room to
bond with other soccer lovahs, who'll go dig up and post pics of "new
hottie" Luis Garcia, if you ask.

At www.alliwantisronaldo.com, learn that Brazil's Ronaldo has a preferred
method for gearing up for a big game: a lovey-dovey bedroom session with his
wife. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what's called "rubbing it in."

Get a little Googly with Italy's Francesco Totti, and you can discover he
"likes girls with dark hair and dark skin," and that "when he is with his
girl, he forgets all the problems, difficulties and controversies of
everything. He comes back to (being) a normal boy." Oh, Francesco, how we'd
love to help.

God bless the constantly updated photos on espn.com.
 

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Heh -

When it first started, I walked in the room while my husband was watching a game. Cue hot blonde guy running around on screen, lifting up his shirt and displaying gorgeous abs.

Me: "Ooohhh... Swedish soccer boys are hot!"

Him: "Hey!"

Me: "Well, you were the one sitting here watching them, not me..."

But I admit, I have a new-found interest in soccer. ;)
 
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