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[OT] Hey look, Aunt June is for sale on ebay

735 Views 1 Reply 2 Participants Last post by  saturnine
Have Aunt June Home for The Holidays - Unusual Gift

Just in time for the Holidays.
Buzzy Multimedia
is putting up for auction their loving
Aunt June

Aunt June will make a loving visit to your home for the Holidays.
You will choose any day between
Dec. 22 2008 thru Jan. 2, 2009
Included in this one of a kind special:

-Aunt June will make a pot of her Matzoh Ball soup for you and your guests.
-Aunt June will make a batch of her famous Kugel. (with or without raisins, your choice)
-Aunt June will make a batch of her famous stuffing. (loved ones have been know to make stuffing sandwiches with leftovers)
-You must provide the turkey/ham - she will be delighted to assist in the cooking of either or both. -You may and should remain with Aunt June during the cooking process, Aunt June is lots of fun and you will learn how to make some very special dishes that will probably become part of your family holiday traditions.

* A shopping list will be provided in advance for you to purchase the ingredients.
**Aunt June's grandmother was a cook at Ratners (A famous NY deli on the lower East Side). She taught Aunt June everything she knew about cooking.

Family Time During the Holiday Dinner:
-Aunt June will provide all the details of a current family drama from the beginning up until its current status. You will be given a choice of no less than 3 dramas to choose from.
-Aunt June will provide you and your loved ones with tales of what it was like to grow up during a 1950's-1960's childhood in The Bronx N.Y. These stories will freely be given in an unlimited quantity.
-Aunt June will provide at least 3 funny tales of what it was like to work in the travel industry for over 30 years.
-Aunt June will be delighted to discuss how she left the travel industry, changed her life path and started a publishing company. A classic and inspirational story of "it's never to late to change your stars".
-Aunt June will describe at least 3 funny tales of what it's like to start and run an audiobook publishing company - you may choose stories in the recoding studio, traveling to conventions, how to sell online. Stories do include a few B list celebrities and actors in the Sci-Fi genre.

***If you dare: A family member or close friend will accompany Aunt June. This person will make at least 3 "Snap Judgments" for your family as a whole, or any single family members or friends.

Delivery of Aunt June:
Aunt June will find her way to your place within 100 miles of the zip code 27410 (Greensboro, N.C.). Everyone else will have to pay and provide transportation. She will be willing to come by train, plane or automobile.

***Aunt June does not discriminate. She is suitable for all ethnicities, ages, backgrounds, large groups or small.

****Time is of the essence, you must provide the date you would like Aunt June on your doorstep within 48 hrs. of the ending of the auction.

*****Any international bidders will have to provide the plane tickets, and transportation to and from the airport to your home or place of celebration.

Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions about Aunt June.

Question & Answer Answered On

Q: Hello from Texas, Is Aunt June fluent in Farsi? Dec-20-08

A: no Farsi, but she is pretty good with Yiddish

Q: Does Aunt June have any strange habits we should know about? Dec-20-08

A: It all depends on what you consider to be strange. : ) - As far as I know she does not have any strange sexual fetishes, is impeccably clean, well groomed and well mannered. Let me know if you have any other questions. Best Regards, Joy

Q: Does Aunt June provide her own toilet roll? Dec-17-08

A: Hi There, I see this question comes from the U.K. Yes, if you wish Aunt June will bring the American type of quilted toilet paper. She can also bring a bar of soap to wash out the potty mouth of those who talk lewdly. After the visit the remaining toilet paper and soap will remain as a gift for you and your loved ones. Unless the paper is for potty training. Aunt June does not do diapers, windows or adult fetishes.
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