Mountain Bike Reviews Forum banner
1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,161 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was headed for work and was stopped on a corner getting ready to merge into the main boulevard. Its about 5:30 am, still dark and from the corner of my eye, I see a bicycle at full cruising speed on the sidewalk headed straight for me. I look intently and I start to see the rider more clearly, and the bike too. Its one of those skinny hipsters, in his skinny jeans piloting with one hand his 12 inch long handle barred sans the brake fixie, while talking on his cellphone. Are you picturing this?

So the hipster and his fixie on my left drops down onto the street using the wheelchair curb access, swoops swiftly around my front bumper and swerves up the other curb's wheelchair ramp to the right in a style reminiscent of a GP racer navigating a chicane. I'm thoroughly impressed by the amazing bike handling skills of this one handed Lance Armstrong in Capri pants, up to the point when he hits the wheelchair ramp. The swooping and swerving seemed less intentional when I realize that fixies without brakes don't slow down so easily, specially when one wants to carry on a cellphone conversation at all cost.

Mr. Hipster approached the wheelchair ramp full spin, in a bad angle, launches off the steep side, gets some air, lands and proceeds to do a front wheel wheelie straight into the side of the building on the corner.

What results is a full blown garage sale. Front wheel crashes into a wall, backpack flies, and rear wheels follows into the wall as the bike folds into the entire fiasco. Think of a scene when Wile E. Coyote smashes straight into a wall while trying to catch the Road Runner. It was pretty close to that. The rider is down, but he's still on the call, talking. Wow. I roll down my window and shout "are you ok?" He doesnt pay me any mind. He's picking up his stuff as I drove away.

That was weird.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,486 Posts
Great story, well written with wonderful visual detail that flows from the reader's eyes to pick up the corners the mouth into a rye chuckle at the end.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,767 Posts
In Sacramento, we have the American River Bike trail, a 30+ mile paved bike trail that follows the American River into the foothills. Its a great place for a road ride away from cars.
Two weeks ago I was nearing the end of my ride on the ARBT. I was entering a sweeping 90 degree turn to my right. I spotted the biggest afro I have ever seen. Puff ball, had to be nearly 3 ft in diameter. It was impressive. Afro puffball dude was wearing capris, had odd looking oversized eye glasses, talking on his cell phone and was riding a fixie with no hands on the handlebars.
he was just entering the turn as I was exiting. I saw what was going to happen before he did. Afro puffball dude was not paying any attention to the bike trail and was going way too fast to make the turn. The trail was turning to his left, he went straight........ into a massive stand of blackberry brambles!! I watched the whole thing over my shoulder. He never had a chance to slow down. Just a loud girly shriek and an over the bar crash directly into the brambles. I rode away laughing.
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top