Honestly none of what you said makes sense. I think you must mean that you have one inch of steerer sticking up from the headtube when the fork is installed, and that is plenty. It sounds like your stem is what you're having problems with. Do you have the correct amount of spacers so you can preload your headset? Is it loose? If it is you do probably need a spacer or two under your stem. You do sound like you have no idea what is going on with the front end of your bike so maybe you should just take it into a bike shop.
good luck
later
good luck
later