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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i met this girl and like we decided later on that we would go out. after two weeks without seeing her, just talking to her online i decided to ask her out she said that she was set up by her friend with a guy that this friend has a crush on. that she liked him but it wouldnt work out. she told me that a week before she would have gone out with me but now too much is going on. i told her i liked her and she said that she liked me before but she might be interested in me again in the future but "theres no way right now"

what does this mean? what should i do now? i am not angry at all and am still interested in her. do you think she still has any interest in me?

i would love advice, thanks for your time

--the reason i posted in the womens section is because they might know more about how this girl feels
--and yes, i also posted in the non bike related section
 

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life is a barrel o'fun
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whoa slow down a sec......

Can we figure this out? Let's see:

i met this girl and like we decided later on that we would go out.

after two weeks without seeing her, just talking to her online i decided to ask her out

she said that she was set up by her friend with a guy that this friend has a crush on.

that she liked him but it wouldnt work out.

she told me that a week before she would have gone out with me but now too much is going on.

i told her i liked her and she said that she liked me before

but she might be interested in me again in the future but "theres no way right now"

>>whew.<< Okay.

You've only known her for a few weeks. Kudos for taking it slow- I like it better when I have a chance to get to know somebody.

In her case, it's hard to tell based on a short story like this. I think it's possible she's going through a difficult situation right now and just might need some time.

It could also be that she's flaky and/or a bit controlling with a flair for drama. I mean, why would her friend set her up with a guy that her *friend* has a crush on?? Or am I missing something?

Either way, distance yourself. You said what you needed to say, and now the ball is in her court. If you dote on her from this point on, she'll take you for granted. Make it clear that you're not waiting around for her just b/c she gave you a "definite maybe." :rolleyes:
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
thanks for the advice christine, and papajohn, i have been. the situation may have changed and i wanted a little interpretation if possible. since posting, she talked to me online again and told me what was going on. it seems that two of her friends like two different guys and and they separately have taken this girl out with these guys, making 3 people per outing. since these outings, her friends have been pissed at her because they say that the guys like her now, not them.

sorry if you find it confusing, i do
thanks again
 

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Since lots of non-regular participants of this forum come here seeking relationship advise, can regular participants seek the same counseling and advise?
 

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internet axe murderer
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Good grief

What is with the trend to treat Women's Lounge like a Dear Abby message board? At least the previous relationship advice-seeking posts had to do a tiny bit with biking.

Go ride your bike, enjoy the ride, that's my advice!

Spike

cerveza9229 said:
i met this girl and like we decided later on that we would go out. after two weeks without seeing her, just talking to her online i decided to ask her out she said that she was set up by her friend with a guy that this friend has a crush on. that she liked him but it wouldnt work out. she told me that a week before she would have gone out with me but now too much is going on. i told her i liked her and she said that she liked me before but she might be interested in me again in the future but "theres no way right now"

what does this mean? what should i do now? i am not angry at all and am still interested in her. do you think she still has any interest in me?

i would love advice, thanks for your time

--the reason i posted in the womens section is because they might know more about how this girl feels
--and yes, i also posted in the non bike related section
 

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little b said:
absolutely! (i'm intrigued...)
My plan is to stay friends. Ride together some. Watch how he handles the next few months. At the same time still run around my other friends and keep an eye out for that someone special.

So here's the set up

Meet a cute mtb guy in several group settings. Have a couple of nice chats. After asking several friends find someone who *thinks* he's single. This friend also says he asked about me. Finally get a solo ride together and get to talk alot. Find out he's really not single but seperated. Told him I was interested in dating but I don't date married men. He said he needed to settle his stuff and decide what he wanted. Finished our ride and had a really nice day. Since (about a month) he has called or I've seen him every couple of days. Never alone again.

In the mean time MTB trip planning is getting serious. He's in for the trip with 4 women so far. Says he has some buddies that might go too. He seems to hang out with the girls quite a bit but I have met some of his other friends too.

Another friend says her observation is "he's playing the field" .

So WL community, what are your thoughts and advise?
 

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ah, i know who you're talking about, and he would have been my guess before you even said anything.

I think your plan is good - just hang out for awhile. let him figure out his sh!t and keep your eyes open in the mean time.

he's a nice guy.
 

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OK, my wife. She like fell skiing 2 years ago tore her ACL, MCL, fractured Tibial platau and still walks with a limp. she is 5' tall and 105lbs. She is having a hard time riding as she can not bend her leg all the way round on the up stroke.

So I am wondering do I buy her the Blue bike or the Yellow one?

:D :D :cool:
 

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little b said:
ah, i know who you're talking about, and he would have been my guess before you even said anything.

I think your plan is good - just hang out for awhile. let him figure out his sh!t and keep your eyes open in the mean time.

he's a nice guy.
yea, i know you would know. tanks

xtremes_dad said:
OK, my wife. She like fell skiing 2 years ago tore her ACL, MCL, fractured Tibial platau and still walks with a limp. she is 5' tall and 105lbs. She is having a hard time riding as she can not bend her leg all the way round on the up stroke.

So I am wondering do I buy her the Blue bike or the Yellow one?
LMAO

Definitely Blue.

I torr my ACL and have very little cartilege left and can't completely bend or straighten my leg and sometime limp a bit too.

A blue Racer X in size XXS is exacly what will make it all better.
It comes in that pretty light blue color this year too.
:D :D :D
 

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Glad you seen the humour in my post.

I am looking for Adult 16" training wheels for her. Her big fear right now is having to throw the leg down in an emergency situation. So I thought training wheels would do it. I wonder if I can get training wheels with a fox float/vanilla shock on each training wheel?? Would I need the model with pro pedal?
Ok now i am just getting stupid
 

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Duuuude!

A GOOD husband would like buy her both bikes. :p

xtremes_dad said:
OK, my wife. She like fell skiing 2 years ago tore her ACL, MCL, fractured Tibial platau and still walks with a limp. she is 5' tall and 105lbs. She is having a hard time riding as she can not bend her leg all the way round on the up stroke.

So I am wondering do I buy her the Blue bike or the Yellow one?

:D :D :cool:
 

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xtremes_dad said:
Glad you seen the humour in my post.

I am looking for Adult 16" training wheels for her. Her big fear right now is having to throw the leg down in an emergency situation. So I thought training wheels would do it. I wonder if I can get training wheels with a fox float/vanilla shock on each training wheel?? Would I need the model with pro pedal?
Ok now i am just getting stupid
Funny image :)

On a more seirous note, what about a knee brace - woudl that give her more confidence?
 

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cerveza9229 said:
i met this girl and like we decided later on that we would go out. after two weeks without seeing her, just talking to her online i decided to ask her out she said that she was set up by her friend with a guy that this friend has a crush on. that she liked him but it wouldnt work out. she told me that a week before she would have gone out with me but now too much is going on. i told her i liked her and she said that she liked me before but she might be interested in me again in the future but "theres no way right now"

what does this mean? what should i do now? i am not angry at all and am still interested in her. do you think she still has any interest in me?

i would love advice, thanks for your time

--the reason i posted in the womens section is because they might know more about how this girl feels
--and yes, i also posted in the non bike related section
I hate to be the one delivering the bad news (ahhh I crack myself up :p ) but from what you said here its 100% clear that she's not interested and is giving you the standard runaround stories until you lose interest or get the message. As soon as bizarre tales of why she can't hook up start coming up and weeks go by with no see that has my alarm going off. I mean would she really go out on a date with that other guy after meeting you, if she was really interested in you?

i told her i liked her and she said that she liked me before but she might be interested in me again in the future but "theres no way right now"
She "liked" you before and she "may" be interested in you again in future, but "no way right now"?!??! I rest my case. I'm sure even you realize this statement says its not going to happen but sometimes you just need someone cynical enough to deliver you the bad news that you deep down truly know yourself but desperately hope it's not true.

My advice would be to distance yourself from her. I never have much tolerance for girls that string me along. I would personally be mucho turned off by any girl that doesn't see my great boyfriend potential (and so should you), especially if she's giving me some lame maybe - maybe not stories and leading me on. If you still want to be friends with her keep in contact but somehow subtly make it clear that you are no longer really interested but cause you're such a great guy you'll keep her around (ie what she's doing to you). Ironically you'll find she'll much more likely want to see you (as dreaded 'friends' of course :mad: ) once she thinks you got the message.

If you can play her headgames well maybe tell her how you met this great new girl you like and how she thinks you're a god and see what her reaction is. You can also tell her that your old girlfriend, the love of your life, is back in town and wants you back and you need to know if its yay or nay, now or never? Alternatively try to go out with her and her friends, mildly flirt with them and enquire her about some girlfriends of hers as if you're interetsed. Lots of fun can be had as soon as you realize it ain't happening and you never know, maybe you do hook up with one of her friends (after all you know they're lonely and heartbroken ;)). I know its difficult to keep your dignity in situations like this but sooner you can shrug this off and move on better you'll feel about yourself. Good luck.
 

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Impy said:
Funny image :)

On a more seirous note, what about a knee brace - woudl that give her more confidence?
Not really. She has some fancy $2000.00 brace that was custom made for her that does teh job of the ACL and give some stability. The problem is because she can not bend it beyond 85 degrees att he top of the up stroke she has to slide her bumm off the seat moving her weight to the side.
There is still pain as well as the injury was not treated. She was taken by ambulance to the hospital where they told her nothing was wrong to walk it off. Two days later we were back because it was real bad and they discovered the complete tear of the ACL and MCL. The fracture was not discovered till after the arthroscopy and an MRI was done prior to scheduling the ACL/MCL replacement surgery.
 

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I agree, she isn't interested in you or she is using you as a security blanket in case **** hits the fan with the other guy. Don't fall pray to her. As soon as you show signs of weakness she will step all over you! :p
 

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CycleMainiac said:
So here's the set up

Meet a cute mtb guy in several group settings. Have a couple of nice chats. After asking several friends find someone who *thinks* he's single. This friend also says he asked about me. Finally get a solo ride together and get to talk alot. Find out he's really not single but seperated. Told him I was interested in dating but I don't date married men. He said he needed to settle his stuff and decide what he wanted. Finished our ride and had a really nice day. Since (about a month) he has called or I've seen him every couple of days. Never alone again.

In the mean time MTB trip planning is getting serious. He's in for the trip with 4 women so far. Says he has some buddies that might go too. He seems to hang out with the girls quite a bit but I have met some of his other friends too.

Another friend says her observation is "he's playing the field" .

So WL community, what are your thoughts and advise?
I'd run the other way if you are looking for a relationship.. Someone who is seperated and settling their stuff needs a good year or two to recover, heal, not be on the rebound and to get their act together. If you/they don't really know why the relationship failed in the first place, they are most likely doomed to repeat the mistakes next time around, maybe with you.

otoh, if you are just looking for a cute man-stallion and he looks like a likely candidate... why the heck not?

formica
 

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cerveza9229:

I believe that boj and mtbbkchick have broken down her code accurately. She sounds like a player.

I say your window of opportunity has closed and no amount of your continuing your current mode of operation is going to open it. The only chance you’ll be getting with her is if you suddenly find some game of your own and have the patience to play it as suggested by boj. Sadly, that’s how the game works with some people. The big question is: Is it worth it? I say no, it’s not worth it unless you’re just out to chase tail (and even then, it’s questionable). That’s not who you are anyways. Move on. Be who you are and let the game come to you. Then, when it happens, you’ll have the real deal.

Almost forgot: Don't forget to ride your bike in the meantime. :D
 
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