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Discussion Starter · #21 ·
Not enough, not enough, not enough, whatever I have is fine.
Yes, I'm hard to satisfy for the most part.
Algorithm says stick with one bike and one lover, use quality lube on both, and the income situation will improve. Also recommends burning all your Stones albums and you will find satisfaction. Hmm, didn’t realized it would provide music recommendations too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #22 ·
Imagine if week 1 = 0 times and week 2 was 1 times.
Then we undertake an equation that looks like this
1/2=????????




OK, I will take on board those recommendations other than the lube and dropping down to 1 bike or watching disney films.
The algorithm says there is no hope for you…
Nobody can teach a single speeder maths.
 

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At one point we were up to 14 or so including Road, Tandem, DH, all that. Down to 8:
  • Mine- Waltworks hardtail, Banshee Prime trail bike, Turner DHR I don’t ride much.
  • Son- Ibis DV9, Ibis HD4, YT Tues Carbon, and his old Turner Burner frame and 20” fisher from when he was little.
  • Wife- Tuner Spot
I should probably sell the DHR.

Make enough that all were bought with cash and we live comfortably.

Get laid at least 20 times a week.

use rocknroll gold.

3 of the 4 are true. I will let you guess which isn’t. I need to get ride of cars, have 6.
 

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The algorithm says you need to get rid of your zwift rig and 5 bikes to get your batting average up. Further, it suggests things are over with your wife and you should pursue interest in the same gender. I’m thinking the program might be busted though, clearly a roadie on a mtb forum is a little confused to begin with :)
The Zwift rig is mandatory due to the schedule restraints of being the dad of a kid who plays club sports at a high level. Sometimes my only bike options are Zwift or nothing.

It turns out marriage is about more than just the physical stuff. That said, I wish there was more physical stuff. Life gets in the way of things sometimes.

Busted. I'm definitely a roadie...although I haven't always been. My 20-year-old Trek OCLV race bike has recently been reborn as a 26er single speed, and I'm really enjoying the change of scenery and approach to riding. It's been refreshing. My build project... Project: SS 26er
 

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Discussion Starter · #25 · (Edited)
At one point we were up to 14 or so including Road, Tandem, DH, all that. Down to 8:
  • Mine- Waltworks hardtail, Banshee Prime trail bike, Turner DHR I don’t ride much.
  • Son- Ibis DV9, Ibis HD4, YT Tues Carbon, and his old Turner Burner frame and 20” fisher from when he was little.
  • Wife- Tuner Spot
I should probably sell the DHR.

Make enough that all were bought with cash and we live comfortably.

Get laid at least 20 times a week.

use rocknroll gold.

3 of the 4 are true. I will let you guess which isn’t. I need to get ride of cars, have 6.
The algorithm recommends watching an episode of hoarders to get scared straight, repost this to the humble brag thread, and you shouldn’t continue using bacon grease on your chain, but it is suitable for cleats. Sell off bikes until down to one or reduce the #of times you are doing the horizontal bop. You don’t want saddle sores on both sides.

seems accurate.
 

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Discussion Starter · #26 ·
The Zwift rig is mandatory due to the schedule restraints of being the dad of a kid who plays club sports at a high level. Sometimes my only bike options are Zwift or nothing.

It turns out marriage is about more than just the physical stuff. That said, I wish there was more physical stuff. Life gets in the way of things sometimes.

Busted. I'm definitely a roadie...although I haven't always been. My 20-year-old Trek OCLV race bike has recently been reborn as a 26er single speed, and I'm really enjoying the change of scenery and approach to riding. It's been refreshing. My build project... Project: SS 26er
The algorithm can’t help zwift addicts. Recommends hitting rock bottom and get the professional help you need. Also, buy a red Miata and have a fabulous time.

Didn’t know this thing gives car recommendations too!
 

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EAT MORE GRIME
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I got so many bike I just give them away when I can't fit any more. surly ss, given. karate monkey, given. TT bike, given. Litespeed ht ... given. Trek 5900, given. not rich either ...what am I gonna do when I'm dead be able to spend any more loot or ride any more ?

I still have 16 ridable bikes left...fight me

I have stopped buying bikes though...for MTB I found the holy grail, no bike better, so I am done searching. the rest, meh. I always need a Brommie and road bike and those I can make last forever.
 

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Discussion Starter · #28 ·
I got so many bike I just give them away when I can't fit any more. surly ss, given. karate monkey, given. TT bike, given. Litespeed ht ... given. Trek 5900, given. not rich either ...what am I gonna do when I'm dead be able to spend any more loot or ride any more ?

I still have 16 ridable bikes left...fight me
The algorithm says:
Stop stealing other people’s bikes.
Move out of your mom’s basement and you will have more room for bikes.
Then, get a better job so you can afford the new place to fit all the bikes.
Get a cat or two…The love life situation is not going to improve.
Since the new job will be stressful and you will have no time to ride, you will die prematurely of a massive cardiac event. Put your cat(s) in the will since you will have no heirs or widow.
Seems accurate.
 

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The algorithm can’t help zwift addicts. Recommends hitting rock bottom and get the professional help you need. Also, buy a red Miata and have a fabulous time.

Didn’t know this thing gives car recommendations too!
Professional help would mean quitting. I ain't no quitter!

Well...actually...I quit cycling for 15 years. Like any addiction, you aren't every really cured. My relapse started Dec '19, and I'm quite enjoying it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #30 ·
Professional help would mean quitting. I ain't no quitter!

Well...actually...I quit cycling for 15 years. Like any addiction, you aren't every really cured. My relapse started Dec '19, and I'm quite enjoying it.
The algorithm would like to know more about your other addictions, except for the snuff film collection, it already knows about that. Recommends updating your browser security settings.
Sounds accurate.
 

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The algorithm would like to know more about your other addictions, except for the snuff film collection, it already knows about that. Recommends updating your browser security settings.
Sounds accurate.
Too long a list. Algorithm would time out and shut down while reading it.
 

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It's simple:
1 hardtail
1 FS
1 road/light gravel
1 bikepacking/gnarly gravel rigid 29er

There used to be a single speed in the mix but I'm old and weak and spend too much time in the office.

That's also probably why I'm not getting laid anymore.
 

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Discussion Starter · #34 ·
It's simple:
1 hardtail
1 FS
1 road/light gravel
1 bikepacking/gnarly gravel rigid 29er

There used to be a single speed in the mix but I'm old and weak and spend too much time in the office.

That's also probably why I'm not getting laid anymore.
The algorithm says you should sell all the bikes except for the bikepacking rig, it will look nice hanging on the wall And be a conversation piece. Then take a few weeks off to the beach, buy a yellow corvette convertible, some silk sheets, and a bottle of viagra.
Seems accurate.
 

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Discussion Starter · #36 ·
What about those of us with no self-respect? Like the Rodney Dangerfields of the MTB world.

Asking for a friend.
Th algorithm says you must have self respect before you can earn it from others and to treat your “friend” to a nice beer this evening. You have one bike, but deserve an upgrade. That lady is interested and ready. The finances will improve, especially if you start knocking off liquor stores on the occasional weeknight evening during high powerball jackpots.
Sounds accurate.
 

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Is it just me or is the algorithm placing more value on having lots of sex over owning lots of bikes?

My own life has gradually been trending in the opposite direction. And I'm okay with that.

(For the record, I'm happily married, so it's all in house...or in the garage, as the case may be. And I get very little grief about any of it).
 

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Discussion Starter · #39 ·
Is it just me or is the algorithm placing more value on having lots of sex over owning lots of bikes?

My own life has gradually been trending in the opposite direction. And I'm okay with that.

(For the record, I'm happily married, so it's all in house...or in the garage, as the case may be. And I get very little grief about any of it).
The algorithm feels sorry for your wife and wants to know if she’s hot.
 
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