[vizcaino]

Hi everybody,

I found this cycling phrasebook in
http://www.adventureteam.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2684.

It is very funny and perhaps it applies to some of us. Let´s find out if you have used any of these phrases !.

Enjoy it !!.

Fidel.

"I'm out of shape"
Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven't missed a day since the Ford administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than you wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your mortgage rate.

"I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in shape"
Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling
and whimpering. I will win the line sprint if I have to force you into
oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first if I have to grab your
seat post, and spray energy drink in your eyes.

"I'm on my beater bike"
Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using titanium
blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It
weighs less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.

"It's not that hilly"
Translation: This climb lasts longer than a presidential campaign. Be
careful on the steep sections or you'll fall over -- backward. You have a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.

"You're doing great, honey"
Translation: Yo, lard ass, I'd like to get home before midnight. This is what you get for spending the winter decorating and eating chocolate. I shoulda married that cute Cat 1 racer when I had the chance.

"This is a no-drop ride"
Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing for the
search-and-rescue dogs.

"It's not that far"
Translation: Bring your passport.

 

[rzozaya1969]

"There's just one small climb to the fun stuff"

"Are we there yet?"

"It's so easy my kids ride it" (he forgot to mention that his kids ride everyday).

"We're going to take it easy"

"It's not going to rain"

 

[Warp]

Another classics....

"That drop isn't that difficult" (about that drop that makes your teeth rattle at the landing)

"I guess there's a rideable line there" (while pointing at some impossible nasty rock garden)

"It isn't that steep" (Classic mentioned when everybody is waiting for the first organ-donor-volunteer to launch off a steep chute)

"That bike of yours is very cool" (Sorry, bro! That looks for sheit and like made by a german mad engineer - Oh, wait! My fork looks like that! )

"Those quesadillas are making me feel sick" (lame excuse said by someone being dropped on a climb that he/she could probably blast way up if he/she wouldn't have had that many beers)

 

[rzozaya1969]

"That bike of yours is very cool" (Sorry, bro! That looks for sheit and like made by a german mad engineer - Oh, wait! My fork looks like that! )
...

Now that your current fork looks cool, you want to change it for a crappy one. When are you installing the new one? I hope you're not planning on doing it at the trailhead...

 

[Warp]

Now that your current fork looks cool, you want to change it for a crappy one. When are you installing the new one? I hope you're not planning on doing it at the trailhead...

I'm still figuring a good shop close to where I live (to take the bike and fork).

Actually, I'm still not sure if I'd rather do it myself... I like the idea of the shop this time, though.

 

[tigerdog]

"It looks a lot steeper than it is."

"It's only an inch on the map. It won't take long"

"This is the last climb, it's all downhill from here."

A personal favourite. This happened to me and a riding buddy in NorCal:

"It's a nice trail, you'll like it if you're into technical singletrack."

That's the last time I take trail advice from a guy wearing kevlar, full-face, riding a Bullit with a dual crown fork!