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Sorry if this turns out to be long but it's pretty funny. I talked with Lopes yesterday and he tells me he's doing some video shoots for a New World Disorder Video/Marzocchi at some cool terrain at the beach. I didn't make it to his house in time to ride out with him so I drove down a little late and hiked out looking for the crew.

I was a little lost hiking though some rough terrain in my Oakley sandals and carrying my bike. I made it down to the ocean jumped in to cool and wash off. As I got out and started walking down the beach I noticed everybody was nude. My shorts are pretty long and red so I stood out pretty good. I thought with my Oakley shades I could check out some women without them noticing. WRONG, all dudes and they were all checking me out. I started to get a little nervous and walked/rode faster to find the video location. I looked up one canyon and there were two naked dudes staring at me wanting me to come in.

Was Lopes playing a joke on me??? I saw his van there so I knew they had to be here. Luckily the next canyon were photographers and video guys all with their clothes on. I was stoked.

I left my bike at the bottom hiked up and checked out the location. I stood in the hole that Lopes was going to jump out of and it was 15-25 feet down depending on where you land. If you didn't hip to the left or turn very quick you would ram right into a 10 foot cliff that would break all your bones. The first hit Lopes came out, landed 25 feet down and with no time to spare, tagged his back brake slid around the wall and cleaned it. The next time he didn't jump as far out and easily turned and then hit another nice jump after the drop.

Oh yeah, he was on his 5" travel bike with an air shock on the rear!!!!! After the first drop the Marz dude added some air since Brian bottomed it out.

I went back down to get my bike and decided to jump in the ocean again since it was hot. I came out and to my right, was one dude taking care of his partner in a way I never wanted to see. I went back up to the top to see Lopes clear and 20 foot canyon gap jump a few times (he had to pedal his a$$ of to get enough speed.

Nobody could beleive what I was telling them is going on right below us at the beach. After the shoot we're at Lopes Sportsmobile van and he takes off all of his gear. Within seconds gay dudes are staring and coming over to check him out. One guy on a bike came up, "I like your van" and was saying something to him. On his bike he had a sticker that said "Bootie Patrol" and he meant Bootie too.

I asked Lopes and the Marzochhi guys to watch me walk to my car to make sure I was safe. They did and know I'm home refelcting on a weird but cool day.

About the video stuff, Lopes went pretty big, was super smooth and did a huge drop on basically an all mountain, light freeride bike. If you see pics in a magazine or in the next FR video with ocean in the background, you'll know what I'm talking about.

I'll put a couple of pics up but nothing of the gap or drop out of respect for the professionals that were there taking pics/video.
 

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Pretty hilarious that you were such a nancy boy you wanted someone to make sure you weren't jumped and randomly sodomized by those nasty homosexuals that roam the countryside in packs just looking for straight guy ass to violate.

Retard.



P.S. Everyone knows Lopes is a little light in the loafers btw. Brian "Betty" Lopes as it were.
 

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Ah ok, thought this was a sorry attempt by some 13 year old to giggle and act all scared by the bronzed and ripped homosexuals. I've never understood that, I mean, on one hand dudes want to act like gaylords are a bunch of mincing prancing limp wrists but then want to act like they wouldn't be able to fight one off if they jumped their rump.

Are they wimpy homos or not, I ask? Rhetorical question of course.


Now if you had said it was a hairy homosexual biker convention I would have concured. Those BEARS are nothing to mess with and I saw some in NY city pull a guy (who shouted "fagg0t" at them) out of his car at a stop light and steal his clothes and beat him up.

Don't mess with burly homos in New York city!
 
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