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Sofa King We Todd Did
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On whim while I was out riding one of my 'neighborhood trails' (i.e. one that I can ride to without loading up the car and driving 20 minutes away, etc.), I decided to try a few of the narrow off-shoot (read: unmarked) trails that litter this deep-wooded park. These unmarked trails are narrow, not exactly well maintained, hard to follow 'cause they're usually overgrown. I had no idea where any of them would lead, but I was feeling bloody curious today.

First detour, the damn thing winds all over the place with thorn bushes to offer plenty of souveniers. Twigs and roots all over the place. After a few minutes, I come to dead end. The trail just ends. Goes nowhere. I look around and see a few fallen trees. And one opened wrapper of Trojans. Ahh, it's starting to dawn on me why this 'trail' was created in the first place.

I back out and get back on the main trail. About a mile and a half later, I see another off-the-map detour. And this one seemed to be headed in the direction of the hill I wanted to climb. So I went for it. Same conditions - twisty, unkempt, all together too slow going to be of any fun. Once again, the damn thing came to the dead end. There was a large boulder in front of me, this time. And right in front of the boulder was a beached Coney Island Whitefish. A used rubber.

Are you kidding me?! It looks like this park gets more action than the Playboy Mansion! What on earth is going on here? What ever happened to backseats of cars? Or doing it in your parents' bedroom when they were out? Or in the bathrooms stalls in noisy nightclubs? Who the heck's got time or the discipline to go on a hike for a shag? That's just too much work, if you ask me.

At that point, I gave up my expedition. I turned around, rejoined the main trail and made my way back home. Now I gotta worry about catching gonorrhea when I'm out riding.
 

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I was getting ready for a ride once....

unpacking my bike and gear out of the back of my Tahoe and an old (mid '80's) toyota or something pulls up one space across from me. It was a Sunday morning and the lot was pretty much empty except for me and this car....well, the couple in the front got out of the car, looked at me and go into the back seat and pulled a blanket over each other. I was pretty surprised. I couldn't believe it. I actually pedaled around the car once or twice to let them know people do use this park a lot, but I couldn't see them and they couldn't see me, but the blanket was moving....the scary part...the girl didn't look over 16 years old and the guy was easily in his mid to late 20's.....if a cop would have drove by (very common in this park), I would have been very tempted to waive him down......what would have you done??
 

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MCF said:
.the scary part...the girl didn't look over 16 years old and the guy was easily in his mid to late 20's........what would have you done??
Pulled the dude from the back seat and beat the everloving f*ck out of him as a favor to the father of the girl.

Think Joe Pesci in "Goodfellas"
 

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where is the trail, let me get my camcorder !!

Where is that trail you mentioned? I got to bring my camcorder to record some hot XXX action. I can't pass up live free porn right ! How many girls will be there? I got to make a stake out and create my own duck blind to catch human species during mating season. It is rare to see this species mate which never been capture live on National Geographic documentary.
 

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one of my stomping gounds is what's known as the "cruising area". The rule is, for night riding, ride fast, stay together, and don't stop for anything. Once I came around a corner and almost ran smack into a guy with no pants on... just standing there, smoking, feelin' the breeze.
 

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Be careful.

You may record things that you probably wish you didn't. The trails near my house let's say gets more action than highway rest stops. So you may not get exactly what you want to see. :p
 

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A newbie had recently picked up a bike, and was asking about the local trails, so I gave some pretty specific instructions about the trail system in town. The next time I saw him he was excited at how much fun he had, and how nice the area was. Plus, he mentioned, lots of families out and about enjoying it too!

That's when I asked if the "families" had any women or children... That's when he realized that there were several single men sitting in their cars at the trailhead...
 
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