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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I wasnt sure if i should post this here or in the nutrition forum but will start here. Ive been riding since a kid but really cycling with intention since 19 or 20 (now 3 months from 45). I raced xc for a few seasons in my 20s then went to grad school and cycling fell off the rader. I finished my schooling and then started working and got married having a kid shortly after just as I was going to try a running routine. Our 1st was 3 months early and was in the hospital 90 days. Stressful times for my wife and I. I had also just started a business and had all the stress of being self employed with employees and all that goes with it. By the time my kid was a year a was 175 and im 5'6. I traded in my old 26er for a 29er and started riding again and racing. Eventually I got my weight down to 148 and was finishing mid pack in cat2 races.

Then we had a 2nd kid, my father in law got alzheimers at age 64, my dog died and i fired a long time employee who may have been stealing from me for the past 10 years. Ive still been riding and racing, less enthusiasm about racing, and my weight has climbed back up to 164. I eat ok but admittedly eat my feelings with sweets, ice cream, bear, wine etc.

At this point im not sure what to do. I want to get back to racing, not to podium but to ride well and feel like i can hang mid pack in cat2.

Any suggestions, words of encouragement etc? Feeling pretty bummed

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...At this point im not sure what to do. I want to get back to racing, not to podium but to ride well and feel like i can hang mid pack in cat2.

Any suggestions, words of encouragement etc? Feeling pretty bummed
I'm thinking you don't really want get back into racing, otherwise you'd be excited, champing at the bit and doing it. You wouldn't be bummed. I'm bummed when whatever I'm doing or have been doing is no longer motivating for me. Could be simply burnout, or coming to some realization that it's pretty pointless anyway. When that happens, I usually find something else to get enthused about. I've intently pursued many sports, activities, hobbies over the years. Sometimes they overlap. Sometimes to the exclusion of all else. With all of them, I eventually got to a point where I need to move on to something else. Sometimes I'd come back to something years later.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
No, i wamt to race but not for results. I want to race as way to just ride and be around people who dig biking just like me.

Life has been stressful and with that cortisol goes up along with weight. I also tend to eat (especially carb) whem stressed. Im trying to learn other ways to cope with stress like just getting a simple spin in even if its around my neighborhood and meditating even for 5 min a morning.

Ive been here before and dug my way back so i can do it again. Im bummed/pissed but in a fired up determined sort of way.

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Elitest thrill junkie
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This is a chronic problem with our society IMO. Businesses, family, peers, all try to encourage people to have kids, get married, buy a house, get a good job, live in the city, have a truck, etc. Some of this is from the point of businesses wanting consumers to buy stuff and you see it reinforced during commercials showing you how you "should" be. Family members ask: oh, when are you going to get married? When are you going to have a baby? Are you going to college? Don't you want to get a high-end job? None of these are inherently bad or anything, but all to often, people sacrifice their physical and mental health to do all of these things that they think they "need" to do. When you aren't healthy or around to enjoy any of these things or support a "family", it doesn't really matter how many of these things you have. We often don't set aside regular time to be healthy, because of all these things we've imposed on ourselves, the commute, having to work the hours necessary to support the mortgage, the kids schooling, and so on. My point is people don't set aside time for themselves for the sake of keeping themselves healthy. IMO, this should come first, not last. It doesn't take racing, that's for sure.

We have several guys around here in their 50s kicking a$$ in Cat 1 in a competitive field. You can become "that rider", but it takes some dedication. I'm nearing in on 41 in the best racing/riding shape of my life. I try to race as much as I can, do some training rides and of course, fun-rides. When you start racing frequently, you start to understand what to do to get better, intervals, hill climbs, pushing yourself to that uncomfortable level you experience in the race. These things are extremely hard to do on your own with no one helping or pushing you, but racing at least gives you a little step-up in this regard. Then you race enough times and you'll notice you are getting better. It doesn't happen overnight, but eventually "something sticks" to the wall. Then as you get faster and faster, you do start to get to that fitness level where you can do several rides a day, have more energy, ride with other people and be "in the green" while they are struggling on a climb.

Then there is the comradre, the competition, the infinite number of things that happen in a race that make you faster or slower, and so on. It gets to be like betting. You train up, select your bike and parts, tune your bike and parts, eat before hand, select your hydration and food, and you play your cards. Sometimes you just have a better hand, sometimes you bluff and can still take it. Sometimes, you just get beaten fair and square. It's all part of the game and it's fun to a lot of us.

You definitely DO NOT need to race to have fun, racing is it's own kind of fun and separate from the basic fun of MTB/outdoors IMO. Usually there's a pretty core group of people who race that are all around real nice people, involved in the riding community. This tends to open the doors to many more things, like people to ride with on vacations, parties, events, special rides, etc.

If you make time for you, the rest should fall into place IMO.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
This is a chronic problem with our society IMO. Businesses, family, peers, all try to encourage people to have kids, get married, buy a house, get a good job, live in the city, have a truck, etc. Some of this is from the point of businesses wanting consumers to buy stuff and you see it reinforced during commercials showing you how you "should" be. Family members ask: oh, when are you going to get married? When are you going to have a baby? Are you going to college? Don't you want to get a high-end job? None of these are inherently bad or anything, but all to often, people sacrifice their physical and mental health to do all of these things that they think they "need" to do. When you aren't healthy or around to enjoy any of these things or support a "family", it doesn't really matter how many of these things you have. We often don't set aside regular time to be healthy, because of all these things we've imposed on ourselves, the commute, having to work the hours necessary to support the mortgage, the kids schooling, and so on. My point is people don't set aside time for themselves for the sake of keeping themselves healthy. IMO, this should come first, not last. It doesn't take racing, that's for sure.

We have several guys around here in their 50s kicking a$$ in Cat 1 in a competitive field. You can become "that rider", but it takes some dedication. I'm nearing in on 41 in the best racing/riding shape of my life. I try to race as much as I can, do some training rides and of course, fun-rides. When you start racing frequently, you start to understand what to do to get better, intervals, hill climbs, pushing yourself to that uncomfortable level you experience in the race. These things are extremely hard to do on your own with no one helping or pushing you, but racing at least gives you a little step-up in this regard. Then you race enough times and you'll notice you are getting better. It doesn't happen overnight, but eventually "something sticks" to the wall. Then as you get faster and faster, you do start to get to that fitness level where you can do several rides a day, have more energy, ride with other people and be "in the green" while they are struggling on a climb.

Then there is the comradre, the competition, the infinite number of things that happen in a race that make you faster or slower, and so on. It gets to be like betting. You train up, select your bike and parts, tune your bike and parts, eat before hand, select your hydration and food, and you play your cards. Sometimes you just have a better hand, sometimes you bluff and can still take it. Sometimes, you just get beaten fair and square. It's all part of the game and it's fun to a lot of us.

You definitely DO NOT need to race to have fun, racing is it's own kind of fun and separate from the basic fun of MTB/outdoors IMO. Usually there's a pretty core group of people who race that are all around real nice people, involved in the riding community. This tends to open the doors to many more things, like people to ride with on vacations, parties, events, special rides, etc.

If you make time for you, the rest should fall into place IMO.
I agree with you 100% but how do you make it happen? Thats a question for myself as much as for anyone else

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Get an ebike, you’ll be crushing miles. It’s a lot easier to be motivated to ride when you know your lack of fitness or time won’t stop you from having an epic ride. A few hundred miles of fun riding and the passion will be coming back with a vengeance!
 

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No, i wamt to race but not for results. I want to race as way to just ride and be around people who dig biking just like me
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You can find all that without racing. Join a cycling club that has group rides with other riders from across the spectrum of the cycling community. There will usually be a racing focused group, so you'll have that if it's what you really want to do. But you'll also meet other riders who aren't race focused, and you may enjoy another kind of riding even more. I've never been interested in racing. I keep my stoke going by working on my tech skills and endurance, and seeking out trails I haven't ridden before. Recently joined up with a group of guys my age (60-70 year olds) for informal weekly rides. None of us are remotely fast, but we get a bit competitive with each other to keep it fun.
 

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No, i wamt to race but not for results. I want to race as way to just ride and be around people who dig biking just like me.
IDK. I sounds to me like you want to want that, not that you do want that. Maybe you remember what it was like when it was motivating, and that's what you want, that motivation back. The only thing I can think of is just go do it and maybe the feeling will come back. If not, maybe find something else. There is riding without racing. Riding on your own time and schedule, alone, or with a few friends. I almost always ride alone, at my pace, doing what I want, working on what I want, exploring, and enjoying nature and the quiet solitude.
 

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i wamt to race but not for results. I want to race as way to just ride and be around people who dig biking just like me.
I think you nailed it. See if you can find a new group of people to ride with.

Also maybe check out some bike festivals / demo events. Lots of fun, light hearted people enjoying riding, usually great trails, new bikes, etc. Good atmosphere.

How about some new bike stoke? Add something new and different to the quiver? A SS perhaps? ;)

MTB trip/vacation? I love exploring new trails, there's so many great spots, I want to ride them all!
 

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Elitest thrill junkie
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I agree with you 100% but how do you make it happen? Thats a question for myself as much as for anyone else

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You step back and think about what is really important and make changes. This may mean moving, it may mean taking a different position, or a different job. It may mean even bigger changes (hint) depending on the situation.
 

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You can find all that without racing. Join a cycling club.
In some places, sure, but in others, even those with great trails, it's not always possible. There is not always a "club" or "group". You might have to think outside the box, maybe there is an organization that builds and maintains trails, maybe you could work as a race volunteer, helping to set the course, etc.? Think outside the box. I do quite a bit of trail-work these days. It's a great way to meet people and connect with the cycling community.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I think i did a poor job explaining how i feel about racing. I wamt to race for the competition and comraderie but not so much for the result so long as I leave it all out there and push myself the hardest i can. Wheather i podium or finish 15th isnt going ro wreck my day. If i didnt have to balance my kids schedules, my wifes stuff and all the crap thats on your shoulders when you own your own business i think i would feel totally different.

Just a few examples of **** that wears me down....i go out for a ride but have to be back for certain time because i have some other plans (that i dont really give a **** about) like visitng the in laws, or i have to call a ride short because my wife is losing her **** over the kids being little shits (3 and 8), or i had a ride planned but have to stay late at work managing some employee bullshit that then I dont have time for my ride anymore because i need/and want to be home for dinner with my kids. Its all this little life stuff that gets in the way of training.

Im already up 5-530 am for work and if i go for a ride after work i maybe home just to tuck the kids into bed. My wife doesnt like it and i feel bad seeing my kids mayne an hour out of 24 in a day.

Its all these obstacles to training that beat be down. I love fighting for the holeshot or catching and passing people on climbs. I just need an extra 4hrs in ths day

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I think i did a poor job explaining how i feel about racing. I wamt to race for the competition and comraderie but not so much for the result so long as I leave it all out there and push myself the hardest i can. Wheather i podium or finish 15th isnt going ro wreck my day. If i didnt have to balance my kids schedules, my wifes stuff and all the crap thats on your shoulders when you own your own business i think i would feel totally different.

Just a few examples of **** that wears me down....i go out for a ride but have to be back for certain time because i have some other plans (that i dont really give a **** about) like visitng the in laws, or i have to call a ride short because my wife is losing her **** over the kids being little shits (3 and 8), or i had a ride planned but have to stay late at work managing some employee bullshit that then I dont have time for my ride anymore because i need/and want to be home for dinner with my kids. Its all this little life stuff that gets in the way of training.

Im already up 5-530 am for work and if i go for a ride after work i maybe home just to tuck the kids into bed. My wife doesnt like it and i feel bad seeing my kids mayne an hour out of 24 in a day.

Its all these obstacles to training that beat be down. I love fighting for the holeshot or catching and passing people on climbs. I just need an extra 4hrs in ths day

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Easily solvable, 3 days each week take 4 hours from the daily job and use it to train, don't tell you wife or kids, instead of working train. Hire someone or arrange it so the business works without you those 4 hours. You just gained 4 hours for doing what you like, you will probably lose some money, but as Jayem said you might not need that extra money, just means you won't be able to spend in frivolities.
 

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Dmo, it’s hard to think but sometimes work needs to be put aside and go ride. Schedule a “meeting” and go ride during work hours and F it if work gets backed up. I live in a ski town and when I’m fed up with my job, I just say no, and take a run or two, or a short hard ride during work hours cause like you, after work, family is like a whole mother job,and life makes it hard to find time. Make training for an hour or so part of the work day and schedule time for you.
 

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Easily solvable, 3 days each week take 4 hours from the daily job and use it to train, don't tell you wife or kids, instead of working train. Hire someone or arrange it so the business works without you those 4 hours. You just gained 4 hours for doing what you like, you will probably lose some money, but as Jayem said you might not need that extra money, just means you won't be able to spend in frivolities.
^^^Best, most practical advice yet.

Sounds like a cliche, I know, but have you considered you might be in the early stages of a midlife crisis? Having focused on building your business and raising a family you're now, with perhaps more years behind you than ahead, confronting your mortality for the first time. All of your hardwork, sacrifices, and responsible choices may be paying off, but they are not feeding your soul. Yearning to race again could be a way to get back to a simpler time in your life. Some guys might be shopping for a new Corvette or a mistress (or both). You want to race bikes. Your wife should be happy.
 

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Elitest thrill junkie
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Dmo, it's hard to think but sometimes work needs to be put aside and go ride. Schedule a "meeting" and go ride during work hours and F it if work gets backed up. I live in a ski town and when I'm fed up with my job, I just say no, and take a run or two, or a short hard ride during work hours cause like you, after work, family is like a whole mother job,and life makes it hard to find time. Make training for an hour or so part of the work day and schedule time for you.
Quality of life. I'm at a point where I could change jobs in an instant, be traveling around all the time, making more money, but I'd have little opportunity on these trips to keep my fitness and I can't buy the enjoyment I have right now from having more normal hours/comp time and more flexability. Someone always has it better, no doubt, but you have to do what you have to do for your own sanity. When you've boxed yourself into a corner, you have to make room for yourself, one way or another. It's unfortunate we have this "zero mistakes" idea in society, that you can't take a step back and say "wow, I kind of went the wrong way here, let me back up and do it differently". It's like we are all in some sort of take-no-prisoners race to the finish (death).
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
^^^Best, most practical advice yet.

Sounds like a cliche, I know, but have you considered you might be in the early stages of a midlife crisis? Having focused on building your business and raising a family you're now, with perhaps more years behind you than ahead, confronting your mortality for the first time. All of your hardwork, sacrifices, and responsible choices may be paying off, but they are not feeding your soul. Yearning to race again could be a way to get back to a simpler time in your life. Some guys might be shopping for a new Corvette or a mistress (or both). You want to race bikes. Your wife should be happy.
I never thought of it like that. So should i go buy a new car? I already had a red sports car, and the speeding tickets to go along with it, before kids. Do i get a mistress? Maybe just a new bike or bike trip. Actually last fall i went to jackson hole for work and rented a bike to ride for a day. Pretty amazimg. I should probably do more of that...

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dmo-

No great advice or words of wisdom. Good luck to you and keep on with the questions and comments so we know you are 'good' even if still searching and trying things out.

Random thoughts - -

I didn't read all posts and comments but seen a few about going out there and having FUN! I think the same but …. Make sure you know what you want and what will make you happy. Sometimes I find myself realizing I'm trying to fit things in that I think I wanted or are important only to later realize it was some other driving force or reason and not really a burning desire or goal.
What I mean is sometimes we don't know ourselves or what's best, just thinking we do. Maybe that's partly where you are and "got lost".

That 24 hour window is yours to manage, structure and hit all the important check boxes. Some days or weeks will be better than others. Plan , organize and calendar everything to better manage if that will help.
Of the 50 things you want to do this week, you'll have to pare it down to the important stuff on top of the list and some you may not even get to. A special dinner out with your wife a few times a month? Two or Three days or eves that you spend more time with the kids ? If something has to give, kids or wife time and attention? You'll need to find where things fit in your priorities.

If it's emotional or stressful funk, you need to get healthy in the head and don't take too much on at the same time.
Racing bikes,
dieting exercise etc.....
IMO- Too much going at once to be, get or stay healthy possibly. I think it'll appear overwhelming too.
Baby steps or bite size pieces to start with. Maybe write some things down to get a grip on what's first and what's next and then, get the kids / wife part of life settled and stable.

:thumbsup:
 

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I never thought of it like that. So should i go buy a new car? I already had a red sports car, and the speeding tickets to go along with it, before kids. Do i get a mistress? Maybe just a new bike or bike trip. Actually last fall i went to jackson hole for work and rented a bike to ride for a day. Pretty amazimg. I should probably do more of that...

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An mtb trip with a couple of buddies is a great idea!

But like TDLover said, if you want to race, you should make time in your schedule to race.

TDLover says you shouldn't tell your wife, but I think you should. Let her know how miserable you are and that you need a little "me" time. If she gets mad and calls you "selfish", let her be mad. She'll get over it. And when she sees how much happier you are, she'll appreciate that you are taking care of yourself. Oh, and try to figure out a way for her to get a little "me" time, too.

If you're sure that bike racing will help bring you out of your funk, do it. If something else is going on, racing is bound to help clear your head and figure things out. A trip to Colorado (or wherever) would help clear your head, too.
 
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