[Scott O]

So Christmas morning I'm not expecting anything more than underwear, socks, ties, etc. No problem, because I don't need anything. I pick up on very light box from wifey and begin unwrapping it. Lots of tissue paper inside. Apparently she's wrapped up a piece of paper. She mentioned that one of my gifts never showed up, so sure enough she wrapped up a printed out desription of my soon to be arriving gift. I check it out. Its something blue and its a tool. Hmmm, a nice Park tool? Didn't think I really needed any new tools but she must have talked to Buddy and he recommended it. Cool. Quickly glancing at it, it might be a cable cutter? Nope. Wait, its a bolt cutter. A bolt cutter? Huh? I look at wifey and she's smiling. I read the specs: 36" bolt cutter. She asks how I like it but she can see that I'm a bit puzzled.

"You said you didn't have a bolt cutter and that you could use it!"

"I did? When?"

"A few weeks ago"

"Are you sure it was me who said that and not some other guy?"

"Yes, you said you didn't' have one."

Well, she was right about that.

Let me back up a month ago. I'm trying to install some XT disc brakes onto the Redline, but I'm missing the bolts to attach it to the fork. F'in A! Being a smart guy, I decide to pilfer some bolts off of the Turner. Bolt one goes on no problem. Bolt 2.......too big. Damn!

Wifey's in the basement doing laundry and hears my frustration. "Why don't you cut the bolt." I explain I have nothing to cut it (ie, a $5 hack saw).

So now I'm the proud owner of a 36" bolt cutter. Buddy says I should just use it to steal bikes that actually work.

 

[AlliKat]

why the hell do we give gifts? f-ing torture. I've yet to do well enough for my wife on a gift holiday.

those cutters are strong. once cut the body of a master lock in half with one.

 

[lubes17319]

Anticipate seeing pix of all the 'new' bikes.






Hope none are mine.

 

[yetipop]

Mine are blue and not quite as large. They fit in a pack I can ride with. I'm not into stealing bikes or anything else for that matter, but they do allow access to riding that mistakenly gets taken away from the biking community.

 

[ae111black]

Sweet!! A few years ago Christmas: My wife took me to Sears to pick out a tool box for my truck...... (I'm thinking WTH am I gonna do with a truck mounted tool box??) if anything its gonna take up 2.5' of bike hauling space from back there! Needless to say I never got a tool box that year. And I had a frusterated wife.... I practically got coal that year!

 

[gthcarolina]

Be careful

Those are known as "burgler tools" in the law-enforcement community. Hard to explain a legitimate reason you would be carrying them.

 

[DriveByBikeShooting]

Those are known as "burgler tools" in the law-enforcement community. Hard to explain a legitimate reason you would be carrying them.

i had a cop actually help me steal a bike once...

well kind of... it was a friends and he had reported it stolen a few months before and we found it and when we were cutting the chain with a hack saw a cop came up and said "what do you think you are doing?" and we explained it to him, he said "hmmm ill be right back" and he went back to his car and brought back some bolt cutters and saved us like 10 mins of sawing... He didnt even ask for proof of ownership or anything... we could have jsut as well been stealin it

 

[archer]

Love it!

Hey man, it's like tools.
You can never have enought tools.

 

[DeepseaDebo]

holy crap that is the best story i have read in a while.

 

[Gasp4Air]

I think you should carry it in your Camelback.

 

[steiny]

Clark, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

 

[4JawChuck]

Ha-ha thats hilarious, sounds similar to what my wife bought me last Christmas...

Justin Timberlake Futuresex DVD

I was just as puzzled as you were.:skep:

Apparently I mentioned at some point in the year that I liked him, the reality was I only mentioned in passing that he was the only current music "artist" that knows how to play the piano well.

I watched it once and gave it away to girls I work with, they really like him.

At least you got a tool!

 

[ASpot13]

At least you got a tool!

That's not nice to talk about his wife that way.

 

[Frozenspokes]

At least you got a tool!

And you got a DVD of a tool. Which is nowhere near as cool as a TOOL DVD.

 

[sandblast]

Funny. Poor wife. Hate to rub it in, but I got bar tape. I have been wanting to build a roadie (I've never even ridden one) so as a cool symbolic gesture there was bar tape in my stocking (the right color too). Game on.

 

[23mjm]

Thats a cool wife you have!!! But now you have a easy way of removing your chain!!! We had bolt cutters in one of the bike shops I worked at--I use to use them to remove chains. I would get funny looks when I was coming at a $5000 bike with a pair of bolt cutters. But hey it was a hell of a lot easier than a chain tool when you were going to throw the old chain away anyway!!!!

 

[MasChingon]

I guess it's the thought that counts. I hate Christmas presents. Nobody ever gets me anything I ask for.

 

[One Pivot]

i never ask for anything, so everything i get is more than what i wanted i got some bike socks this year, i was pretty happy about it too.

OP's story was funny as hell! a+!

 

[gmcttr]

And the next time you need to shorten a bolt, you still won't have a tool to do the job. That should make her real happy.

Hacksaw and file or a Dremel.

 

[sean salach]

A bolt cutter is a perfectly good and useful tool to have around. you will, eventually, need it or know someone who needs to borrow it. I would happily accept a 36" bolt cutter.