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~Disc~Golf~
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I need some advice on some rides that my girlfriend might be able to handle. Something less than a mile in length. See, she's fat and slow and a little hairy, too. She really likes to climb in granny gear... well she rides everything is granny gear and I just hang out behind rubbing tires with her. I don't want anything too technical.. in fact a paved trail would really be the best thing I think. But she really likes a wild downhill.. I think one time we went 10 mph according to the bike computer!! I think she almost wet herself... talk about a fun time. You know, I only do what's best for my woman and I want to take her somewhere really special this summer coz she's such a special gal.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 

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~Disc~Golf~
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
NicoleC said:
...Funny once as a parody of the questions men ask in the women's forum. ...
This is a parody :thumbsup:
thanks for popping my balloon :(
 

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highdelll said:
This is a parody :thumbsup:
thanks for popping my balloon :(
Sorry, but it's hard to be a parody of a parody by dredging up the original subject matter. I'd like to see some funny but not knuckle-dragging stuff, but it seems the boys aren't up to it yet this morning. Coffee machines must be broken everywhere.
 

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So I'd like to find a place where I can take my girlfriend. I'll usually lead her but I might just have to stop doing that. She just wont stop telling me "slow down" or "you're lost aren't you?" After riding for about an hour all I got from her was "we've been on this trail FOREVER!" One time at the local loop she made me stop and ask a hiker for directions! Can someone recommend a flat, well lit trail, that's shorter than a trip to her mother's house, with clearly posted directions?
 

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Bicyclochondriac.
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highdelll said:
I need some advice on some rides that my girlfriend might be able to handle. Something less than a mile in length. See, she's fat and slow and a little hairy, too. She really likes to climb in granny gear... well she rides everything is granny gear and I just hang out behind rubbing tires with her. I don't want anything too technical.. in fact a paved trail would really be the best thing I think. But she really likes a wild downhill.. I think one time we went 10 mph according to the bike computer!! I think she almost wet herself... talk about a fun time. You know, I only do what's best for my woman and I want to take her somewhere really special this summer coz she's such a special gal.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
This parody would only be funny to someone who read the original parody AND was too thick to get the real point of it.

The only really humorous thing is people responding to this like it was not a complete joke (albeit kind of lame one).
 

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kapusta said:
The only really humorous thing is people responding to this like it was not a complete joke (albeit kind of lame one).
That's supposed to be the fun part. :( But nobody's done that yet. So far the only people who've responded know it's a joke. :bluefrown:
 

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Stay thirsty my friends
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I have found with my wife that it is not good for you to follow her while on the trail, she needs inspiration to try and keep up...this will encourage effort!

Here is what I have done and it worked like a charm, get a 12 foot length of climbing rope and tie one end to her right wrist and the other end to your seat post. I tried bungee cord but it tends to cut off the circulation when it gets tight and is too easy to pull off. Remember she needs you to inspire her!

Next find some knarly terrain and give-er, the first time she falls off and gets dragged a little she will learn...some snide comments on her overweight condition seems to help with inspiration I find.

This method has truly salvaged our relationship, she has lost 2 pds already over the last month! In fact she is so much into it that the next DH ride she wants to lead this time but apparently I will have to tie the rope around my nutz to be properly motivated (her words).

I'm feeling inspired already.:thumbsup:
 

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Ride Instigator
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Y'all oughta' just drop that hog off the nearest feeding trough, go get yourself a good ride in and swing by to get her on the way back home. There's no point in trying to ride with a fat chick, she'll just hold you back.;)
 
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