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Do you have trouble communicating with younger people?

8186 Views 169 Replies 56 Participants Last post by Nat, Jan 3, 2022

_CJ

Discussion Starter · Dec 28, 2021

So, I'm only barely into the 50+ age group, but in the past year I've started to have a really difficult time communicating with younger people (under 40?), especially on-line. I don't know if it's the pandemic, social media, corporate media, changes in society with "cancel culture", etc., or just part of getting old. What's bothering me most is how people just instantly go for personal attacks, insults, etc. "Back in my day" if people did or said those kinds of things to your face, they might be subject to some physical consequences.

More and more, I find myself withdrawing from social media because of this stuff, but I am still somewhat active on message boards like this because there's at least some moderation, and the ability to block or ignore people.

How about you 50+ers? Is this an issue for you? How do you deal with it?

Reactions: 5

1 - 20 of 170 Posts

ZX11

· #2 · Dec 28, 2021

First, it takes practice to have good communication skills. So adjust, keep at it, and perhaps watch some videos on time and true methods. Adjusting is the key. Figure some methods for handling insults/personal attack people that allow you to avoid them. Like glancing at your watch and saying, "whoops, look at the time. Laters."

I haven't noticed it as people are people. But there is a generation gap where they like a Kia with tires mounted to hang outside the fenders and I think a lifted 1990 Toyota mini truck 4x4 with the V6 and king cab is the end all be all.

Sanchofula

· #3 · Dec 28, 2021

_CJ said:
So, I'm only barely into the 50+ age group, but in the past year I've started to have a really difficult time communicating with younger people (under 40?), especially on-line. I don't know if it's the pandemic, social media, corporate media, changes in society with "cancel culture", etc., or just part of getting old. What's bothering me most is how people just instantly go for personal attacks, insults, etc. "Back in my day" if people did or said those kinds of things to your face, they might be subject to some physical consequences.

More and more, I find myself withdrawing from social media because of this stuff, but I am still somewhat active on message boards like this because there's at least some moderation, and the ability to block or ignore people.

How about you 50+ers? Is this an issue for you? How do you deal with it?

Yes, and I'm sure the previous generation had the same problem with us, and so it goes.

What is the answer?

Solve this problem ^ and you will be famous

Having spent the last week with my daughter (28) and her husband (31), I can attest to the challenges of communicating with younger people.

My answer: Avoid them for the remainder of the time they're staying with us

Reactions: 5

wayold

· #4 · Dec 28, 2021

Anyone who had to subject someone to "physical consequences" because he didn't like what they had to say had as much trouble with communication 30 years ago as today.

Reactions: 5

JCKID58

· #5 · Dec 28, 2021 (Edited)

I get exactly what you are saying. I wouldn't say it's just "younger" people though. Just read through some threads on this website or Pinkbike, even worse, and not everybody commenting is 20 something, like wayold's comment for instance, a nicely worded backhanded insult. (Can't wait) It seems like very few people are capable of just reading something online without feeling the need to comment, especially if they can be negative and not add anything of substance. I used to think the MTB community was a really nice close knit community,, it is not, at least anymore. There were 2 "older" probably late 40's early 50's screaming and cussing at each other in the parking lot at a local trail recently. Apparently the guy with his wife/girlfriend thought the single guy cut him a little close when he passed by them somewhere on the trail. It went on for a good 15 minutes in front of kids and families. The parking area is a common area for hiking, picnics etc. not just MTB. My 12 year old son looked at me and said what is wrong with those people. It was an embarrassing display. Social media has destroyed any civility, you are right most people come out of their shells sitting at a keyboard. We started a Facebook account when we moved to TN. to keep up with friends and family up north. If I keep to that it's a really good tool. If it's used to voice opinions then good luck, so I don't. Most of the people I am with are younger, I personally don't have a problem communicating but I have had to adapt to the current "language!" Phrases like "I'll reach out next time we ride" drives me crazy, not crazy but annoys me for some reason. I know it means I'll give you a call, but,,,,,, Get off my grass!!!

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Reactions: 5

bitflogger

· #6 · Dec 28, 2021

_CJ said:
So, I'm only barely into the 50+ age group, but in the past year I've started to have a really difficult time communicating with younger people (under 40?), especially on-line. I don't know if it's the pandemic, social media, corporate media, changes in society with "cancel culture", etc., or just part of getting old. What's bothering me most is how people just instantly go for personal attacks, insults, etc. "Back in my day" if people did or said those kinds of things to your face, they might be subject to some physical consequences.

More and more, I find myself withdrawing from social media because of this stuff, but I am still somewhat active on message boards like this because there's at least some moderation, and the ability to block or ignore people.

How about you 50+ers? Is this an issue for you? How do you deal with it?

By the numbers.... I'm in a few sizable organizations. Infrastructure director for a small grocery store chain, large MTB chapter leadership, and large private ski area leadership. I'm a forum moderator and manage 2 commercial Facebook pages and some groups.

My boomer cohort and some gen x cohort are the worst as far as angry or attacks. The people I lead and supervise in gen Z and millennials are far more aware of poor behavior online and much better about respecting differences. As infrastructure director I see HR communication and private channels. A lot of anger comes from aging staff who are not competitive or good with change.

Maybe the physically active nature of this group is a better bunch of the everyone I have to deal with. In my day job where nearly everyone goes to grocery stores and each one has 2-300 employees it's not younger people who stand out for bad behavior.

Reactions: 5

834905

· #7 · Dec 28, 2021

I'm not 50+ and this is just my personal observation, but everyone is having trouble communicating these days because every conversation seems like it has to be about some hot button issue that's guaranteed to piss someone off. Seriously. I can't go anywhere or do anything without having to hear someone's opinion on politics, the pandemic or anything else that no one really wants to talk about but can't seem to move past.

It seems like the days of small talk and BS are gone, and they've been replaced with topics that everyone wants to avoid but doesn't. I'm 35 and enjoy talking to my 9 year old more than just about anyone at this point. I'd rather hear her talk about some goofy YouTube video than listen to someone go on and on about why they think "people don't want to work these days".

Its really making people withdrawal socially I feel like.

Reactions: 5

Sparticus

· #8 · Dec 28, 2021

ZX11 said:
First, it takes practice to have good communication skills. So adjust, keep at it, and perhaps watch some videos on time and true methods. Adjusting is the key. Figure some methods for handling insults/personal attack people that allow you to avoid them. Like glancing at your watch and saying, "whoops, look at the time. Laters."

I haven't noticed it as people are people. But there is a generation gap where they like a Kia with tires mounted to hang outside the fenders and I think a lifted 1990 Toyota mini truck 4x4 with the V6 and king cab is the end all be all.

What?

Reactions: 5

#mtnbykr

· #9 · Dec 28, 2021

Later. .....

JCKID58

· #10 · Dec 28, 2021

SingleSpeedSteven said:
I'm not 50+ and this is just my personal observation, but everyone is having trouble communicating these days because every conversation seems like it has to be about some hot button issue that's guaranteed to piss someone off. Seriously. I can't go anywhere or do anything without having to hear someone's opinion on politics, the pandemic or anything else that no one really wants to talk about but can't seem to move past.

It seems like the days of small talk and BS are gone, and they've been replaced with topics that everyone wants to avoid but doesn't. I'm 35 and enjoy talking to my 9 year old more than just about anyone at this point. I'd rather hear her talk about some goofy YouTube video than listen to someone go on and on about why they think "people don't want to work these days".

Its really making people withdrawal socially I feel like.

I will say I have the best conversations with my 12 year old. He has very mature way of looking at the world. He asks in depth questions on most any subject and is willing to learn or push for better answers if he wants more information. He keeps me on my toes for sure. Most of my friends who spend any time with him say he has an old soul. Kids are awesome!

Reactions: 3

J.B. Weld

· #11 · Dec 28, 2021

Online forum communication is broken because when people post anonymously all normal social checks are out the window. A similar phenomenon is what spurs road rage.

I have zero problems communicating with people of any age face to face.

Reactions: 5

Velorangutan

· #12 · Dec 28, 2021

I don't think it's just young people. There is a lot of negativity from people on the internet. THe online culture seems to try and find fault with everything. It's entertaining to see a snowball of people finding fault with something when the original issue or information wasn't even fully understood.

milehi

· #13 · Dec 28, 2021

I take online posts with a grain of salt. In real life, people in their 30's cant look you in the eye, text a coherrent text, have thin skin and shake hands with a soft limp wrist. I quit my career in medical and sold the business and now tend bar. My elderly customers are a breath of fresh air telling it like it is.

Reactions: 3

Rev Bubba

· #14 · Dec 28, 2021

_CJ said:
So, I'm only barely into the 50+ age group, but in the past year I've started to have a really difficult time communicating with younger people (under 40?), especially on-line. I don't know if it's the pandemic, social media, corporate media, changes in society with "cancel culture", etc., or just part of getting old. What's bothering me most is how people just instantly go for personal attacks, insults, etc. "Back in my day" if people did or said those kinds of things to your face, they might be subject to some physical consequences.

More and more, I find myself withdrawing from social media because of this stuff, but I am still somewhat active on message boards like this because there's at least some moderation, and the ability to block or ignore people.

How about you 50+ers? Is this an issue for you? How do you deal with it?

Not usually. I prefer the company of younger people. I've always looked to the future for answers and still do so maybe that has something to do with it.

At 72, I don't feel I have all the answers or even any of the answers just because I'm old. I find too many in my age group seem to think if they did something one way, it's the only way.

Reactions: 1

OldSchoolMBer

· #15 · Dec 28, 2021

bitflogger said:
In my day job where nearly everyone goes to grocery stores and each one has 2-300 employees it's not younger people who stand out for bad behavior.

I work in a similar environment and see the same thing.

Reactions: 1

Velobike

· #16 · Dec 28, 2021

I find young people remind me of Victorian wowsers* .
Far too pious for someone raised on the Goons and Monty Python etc.

*Wowser: an ineffably pious person who mistakes this world for a penitentiary and himself for a warder

Reactions: 3

Sparticus

· #17 · Dec 28, 2021

milehi said:
I take online posts with a grain of salt. In real life, people in their 30's cant look you in the eye, text a coherrent text, have thin skin and shake hands with a soft limp wrist. I quit my career in medical and sold the business and now tend bar. My elderly customers are a breath of fresh air telling it like it is.

Bartender, eh? Assume you've got some good local trails & are willing to show a fellow MTBR adherent & his GF around them.
So... where are we looking to get a post-ride draft or drink one of these days?
=sParty

J.B. Weld

· #18 · Dec 28, 2021

_CJ said:
What's bothering me most is how people just instantly go for personal attacks, insults, etc. "Back in my day" if people did or said those kinds of things to your face, they might be subject to some physical consequences.

Do these people actually throw out insults and personal attacks face to face or are you just talking about online experiences?

Also I've found it's real easy to be misinterpreted online too. Combine bad writers with poor readers and it can be a troublesome brew.

Reactions: 4

834905

· #19 · Dec 28, 2021

milehi said:
My elderly customers are a breath of fresh air telling it like it is.

"Confidence is silent, Insecurity is loud"

Reactions: 5

Gumby_rider

· #20 · Dec 28, 2021

Oh look! Older generation complains about the younger generation. Not exactly new news. Now “GET OFF MY LAWN!”

Reactions: 2

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