Mountain Bike Reviews Forum banner

41 - 60 of 75 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
169 Posts
Better than pulling a Richard, or a Dick or a Johnson. Or even an Anthony Wiener.
I'll go with that.

I have a story similar to DJ's. Back in the day, I moved to a Arizona city from somewhere very different. I had an old mountain bike from the time of anodized parts and boutique shops out of Socal and put it together to explore my new home. This was before camelbacks so I threw on 2 water bottles, some power bars in my jersey pockets and I would ride from my house to explore. Out at the end of a road was a steep dirt road leading up into the hills. My research, pre-internet, was that there was a trail back there, lots of them, and rivers and even a waterfall. I head out with a memorized map of the place, some cheat notes, etc. I rode that area many times and got know a lot of the trails around there. However I was at a local outdoors shop and they had US forest service maps there. Looking at the area I noticed that roads were mapped out that would allow you to avoid taking the dirt switchback road up to the trail head and instead take what looked like trails.

I loaded up my bike, some cash in pocket, power bars in jersey and headed out by myself. I tracked out to the turn off to the falls and instead of heading left I headed right down a new trail. They trail lead down! Woot! for a long time and as I ripped this trail I was pretty excited...until it stopped at a rock waterfall/wash and headed back up. Looking back I realized that there was only one option and both involved climbing. I followed the up riding first, then walking. Eventually it leveled out high above the valley.

Stopping to reconnoiter I could see the road in the city below and miles of trails heading south. I figured I would ride this area for as long as I could until I found a trail down near where I needed to be. Riding along, late sun burning my moisture away, I finally found a trail that looked used heading downhill. I turned and held on as I careened down the fall line of a ridge, my cantilever brakes doing mostly nothing, my narrow tires struggling to find traction, my rigid frame and fork doing nothing but looking like a late 80's design exercise in excess. Eventually the downhill ended in a thick, dense, mesquite and cats claw thicket. Scrabbling through this valley, thinking that I would be at the road I came across miles of barbed wire fence. I walked along this, bike thrown over my shoulder, until I found a section where it was clear enough to climb over without endangering my gentleman's region or my spandex.

Climbing over I continued to bushwack until I finally came across a road or jeep trail or something that resembled a means of riding. Mounting back I decided to follow the sun and hope it took me to junction. After awhile I found my way to a slightly larger road and continued on. I reached down for my bottle only to realize it was no longer there. My other bottle was empty and I had been out 5-6 hours by now, in the AZ heat. I was parched and still lost. Eventually the road took me to someone's house. I snuck out there gate and onto a washboarded road. I guess on a direction and eventually it took me to the main paved road. I knew a couple of miles of riding would take me to a Circle K so I soft pedaled along the road until the Circle K sign gleamed in the distance.

Coasting in to the parking lot, I rested my bike against the wall and hobbled into the store. I got a thirstbuster of cold, cold gatorade and went outside to the curb. I sucked it down greedily and sat back. I think I drank that thirstbuster in a minute. Then I removed it from my body in a bright yellow spray all over the parking lot. Sadly I had only enough money for that gatorade on me, so hoping my body got enough hydration from when it was in my stomach, I gingerly hopped back on my bike, and rode the remaining, long painful miles to my house.

I carefully drank water until I started to feel human, then scarfed a bean burrito, and headed to the shower to wash off the accumulated salt rhime and dirt off my body. Covered in scratches, sore muscles, suffering heat stroke, I ran cold water over my head until I was shivering and went to bed.

I never rode that area again, ever.
 

·
No Clue Crew
Joined
·
7,214 Posts
Literally my first-ever MTB ride in 2002 with a couple dudes I knew from work. They knew I was a mid-level BMX racer, so invited me out. I was on a too-small aluminum hardtail with a 3-inch fork.

The route? South Mountain in Phoenix. Up Mormon Loop, down National. If you’re familiar with Phoenix, that’s NOT a beginner ride. I walked much of the climb, a lot of the descent and still ended up in the ER getting gravel removed from my knees.

Didn’t ride MTB again for a couple years.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,499 Posts
I am usually the anti-Dave even though my actual name is Dave...... Does that mean i cancel myself out and do not actually exist at all...... If so who is typing this post who? an existential version of my non existant self?

With group riding there is always a Dave and an anti-Dave. The key is to build that group so the gap between dave + and Dave - is minimal. That is when the enjoyment happens.

Dave - makes the group burn and bleed with either relentless pedalling pace or taking the pack on rediculous descents that make everyone bleed.

Dave+ holds the group up with either lack of fitness, skill or bike maintenance.

The further you sit from dave + or dave - will determine your annoyance level to Dave factor.

If you never experience Dave +.... news flash you are Dave.

Now if consider your self Dave then you will be Dave. Dave is self perpetuating. Dave usually waits for everyone to ride off then he follows as tail end Charly. Then he has to slow down and wait for all other errors from riders in from of him. Then if Daves mistakes and slowness is is compounded to the culmative delays of off infront of him.

By the time Dave rolls in a minute or 2 from the back of the back -Dave has been waiting 5 minutes for a 1 minute section. -Dave is fully rested and ready to go. He's like time to ride and blazes of with his rested speed. +Dave is already abive V02 max just trying to keep up. But he never gets to have a rest because as soon as he catches up -Dave is gone.
+Dave gets slower and slower as the rider going on until he is a drivelling burnt out mess.

So... Here's my tips for Dave. Ride 2-3 times a week. If you get in at least a cgood couple of solid rides a week you will elevate yourself from +Dave to midpack. No more Dave for you.

Also where ever possible take off at the front of the pack and allow people to pass you.... or try to keep up. If you are slow dudes will pass you, but by the time you get to the next stop you might have only dropped to mid pack or close to last. Without any additional fitness you can potentially elevate yourself to mid pack....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Dave is my neighbor, a nice guy who bought a $400 beginner mountain bike and rides the a popular 11-mile loop for beginners around the neighborhood a couple of times a month.

On Saturdays Dave and I both send our kids to a foreign language class nearby. One Saturday after dropping our kids off at said class, we met up at the parking lot and went for an easy ride on the 11-mile loop. Since he was a beginner, we went very slow, but his fitness was such that he had to stop for breath after every little climb. The whole ride took 3x my normal time, and we barely made it back to the parking lot before class dismissal.

I put my bike in my truck and went to the restroom to clean up. By the time I came out, the class had ended, kids were out and soccer moms were there to pick up their kids. Dave, instead of putting his bike away, had dragged his bike from the parking lot to the classroom door and was straddling his bike with his elbows on the handlebar, talking to the soccer moms, showing off the fact that he had just finished an 11-mile loop and basking in their admiring looks like he was some hot ****.

He couldn’t ride worth **** (still can’t), but at least he knew how to pose.
 

·
Professional Crastinator
Joined
·
6,176 Posts
...

Also where ever possible take off at the front of the pack and allow people to pass you.... or try to keep up. If you are slow dudes will pass you, but by the time you get to the next stop you might have only dropped to mid pack or close to last. Without any additional fitness you can potentially elevate yourself to mid pack....
Good call!

-F
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,499 Posts
I put my bike in my truck and went to the restroom to clean up. By the time I came out, the class had ended, kids were out and soccer moms were there to pick up their kids. Dave, instead of putting his bike away, had dragged his bike from the parking lot to the classroom door and was straddling his bike with his elbows on the handlebar, talking to the soccer moms, showing off the fact that he had just finished an 11-mile loop and basking in their admiring looks like he was some hot ****.

He couldn’t ride worth **** (still can’t), but at least he knew how to pose.
Its all relative however. To the soccer mums he is indeed an adventurous fitness freak that punches way above thier weight as far as crazy fitness goes. To you he was +Dave³.

Now imagine if you went on that same ride with the local club champ xc winner. You would become Dave and the local XC race winner would look at you in the same light.....

Then imagine that local race winner went up against a sponsered pro racer.... local race guy becomes dave..... Then imagine XC pro going up against some fast DH racers In a gnarly DH race. XC racer becomes dave for dhing....

So..... unless you are the best in the world at all mtb disciplines you are until you have ridden in the group you are both -Dave and +Dave at the same time.

Perhaps we should call you Schrodingers Dave.
 

·
Fart smeller
Paid to post this crap.
Joined
·
19,054 Posts
Dave is my neighbor, a nice guy who bought a $400 beginner mountain bike and rides the a popular 11-mile loop for beginners around the neighborhood a couple of times a month.

On Saturdays Dave and I both send our kids to a foreign language class nearby. One Saturday after dropping our kids off at said class, we met up at the parking lot and went for an easy ride on the 11-mile loop. Since he was a beginner, we went very slow, but his fitness was such that he had to stop for breath after every little climb. The whole ride took 3x my normal time, and we barely made it back to the parking lot before class dismissal.

I put my bike in my truck and went to the restroom to clean up. By the time I came out, the class had ended, kids were out and soccer moms were there to pick up their kids. Dave, instead of putting his bike away, had dragged his bike from the parking lot to the classroom door and was straddling his bike with his elbows on the handlebar, talking to the soccer moms, showing off the fact that he had just finished an 11-mile loop and basking in their admiring looks like he was some hot ****.

He couldn’t ride worth **** (still can’t), but at least he knew how to pose.
Wow! Lol, great story.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,222 Posts
Also where ever possible take off at the front of the pack and allow people to pass you.
Definitely do NOT do this. This is the worst kind of Dave behavior. Actually scratch that, the worst is the Dave that does this then plays the alpha male card when you pass him. No Dave, you're just a tool that can't seem to find your pecking order despite a 1000 and 1 chances.

Sent from my moto g(6) forge using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,499 Posts
Here's another scenario thats amusing.

Its the ride were you are both -Dave and +Dave in the same ride.

This happens when you have XC dude paired with DH/Enduro dude and do a ride that has big climbs and long tech descents. On the ups XC dude is the punisher. Vultering around in circles at the top of the hill waiting for dh dude to catch up. Then dh dude blazes the down and waits for xc dude at the bottom of the tech descent.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,437 Posts
Definitely do NOT do this. This is the worst kind of Dave behavior. Actually scratch that, the worst is the Dave that does this then plays the alpha male card when you pass him. No Dave, you're just a tool that can't seem to find your pecking order despite a 1000 and 1 chances.

Sent from my moto g(6) forge using Tapatalk
Dave, in this situation, sees potential payoff for his sponsors if he can break away from the pack and create a 5 minute gap...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,742 Posts
Here's another scenario thats amusing.

Its the ride were you are both -Dave and +Dave in the same ride.

This happens when you have XC dude paired with DH/Enduro dude and do a ride that has big climbs and long tech descents. On the ups XC dude is the punisher. Vultering around in circles at the top of the hill waiting for dh dude to catch up. Then dh dude blazes the down and waits for xc dude at the bottom of the tech descent...
...while the XC dude relies on and demonstrates superior bike handling skills on the descent rather than letting the suspension do all the work.
 

·
Self Appointed Judge&Jury
Joined
·
38,786 Posts
Discussion Starter · #55 ·
Dave is my neighbor, a nice guy who bought a $400 beginner mountain bike and rides the a popular 11-mile loop for beginners around the neighborhood a couple of times a month.

On Saturdays Dave and I both send our kids to a foreign language class nearby. One Saturday after dropping our kids off at said class, we met up at the parking lot and went for an easy ride on the 11-mile loop. Since he was a beginner, we went very slow, but his fitness was such that he had to stop for breath after every little climb. The whole ride took 3x my normal time, and we barely made it back to the parking lot before class dismissal.

I put my bike in my truck and went to the restroom to clean up. By the time I came out, the class had ended, kids were out and soccer moms were there to pick up their kids. Dave, instead of putting his bike away, had dragged his bike from the parking lot to the classroom door and was straddling his bike with his elbows on the handlebar, talking to the soccer moms, showing off the fact that he had just finished an 11-mile loop and basking in their admiring looks like he was some hot ****.

He couldn’t ride worth **** (still can’t), but at least he knew how to pose.
Wow! Lol, great story.
Made me laugh.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,499 Posts
...while the XC dude relies on and demonstrates superior bike handling skills on the descent rather than letting the suspension do all the work.
Hahaha ....

In my group of dh/enduro focused riders the fitest fastest up hill dudes are also the fastest down.

I do agree that top level xc dudes do kill it on the down.

But general terms the xc dude has superior fitness and inferior bike handling skills by comparison to the dh/enduro dude.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,222 Posts
Hahaha ....

In my group of dh/enduro focused riders the fitest fastest up hill dudes are also the fastest down.
That's almost always if not always the case in my experience as well.

The fastest guy I "ride" with literally puts down faster lap times on Enduro courses that big name pros ride. He's 47, married with two young kids, full time demanding job, and clocked over 500k climbing last year.

Sent from my moto g(6) forge using Tapatalk
 

·
Professional Slacker
Joined
·
3,271 Posts
Hahaha ....

In my group of dh/enduro focused riders the fitest fastest up hill dudes are also the fastest down.

I do agree that top level xc dudes do kill it on the down.

But general terms the xc dude has superior fitness and inferior bike handling skills by comparison to the dh/enduro dude.
Fitness is the easy part.

Nothing wrong with being a Dave though, as long as you have the right attitude.
 

·
Cycologist
Joined
·
7,899 Posts
Definitely do NOT do this. This is the worst kind of Dave behavior. Actually scratch that, the worst is the Dave that does this then plays the alpha male card when you pass him. No Dave, you're just a tool that can't seem to find your pecking order despite a 1000 and 1 chances.

Sent from my moto g(6) forge using Tapatalk
I'm with you. Passing on the trails I ride is often difficult in a lot of spots so either Dave is going to be blocking or stopping/slowing down a lot to let faster riders pass.

I've raced a good number of 5K foot races and I'm usually in the top 10-15% and I learned after a few races to make my way to the front of the starting line early as otherwise, it is full of first timers and slow runners who just get in my way and slow me down. Granted, this is a race but still no reason to purposely block people.

I don't often ride in groups but when I do, I fully expect riders to ride at different paces and accept that, no problem. I tend to be a fast climber and a little more conservative on the descents. I know slower riders can feel like they are holding others up and may feel like they are unwanted on the ride but I don't want them to be discouraged; if I didn't want to ride with a group, I wouldn't have shown up for the ride. I think they are only Daves if they have a bad attitude. Now if they show up as total beginners without the ride as having been advertised as such, that's a different thing.
 
41 - 60 of 75 Posts
Top