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Fart smeller
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Cleavage Of The Tetons
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So, in 01’, we (tight group of local hammerheads) took a Dave (his name really IS Dave!) and we had to wait for him so much, a 2 hour ride took 3 or 4. We all agreed not to ride with Dave again. Lo and behold, he had a wake up call, got super fit, practiced the technical, and has been faster than most of us ever since. You never know, I guess.
 

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orthonormal
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I allowed Dave to join me on a summer ride in Tucson back in 1995. It's 111 degrees and 4% humidity and Dave brings a single water bottle*. Dave insists that I ride my usual pace and he will hang or turn back if he gets tired. I notice Dave isn't drinking much. I tell Dave that if he waits until he is thirsty to drink, he will be f'ed. 30 minutes later, Dave is very thirsty and drains his entire water bottle in one big guzzle. Another minute or two later, Dave pukes up the precious liquid. Now Dave wants out of the sun but we are in the Sonoran Desert and there is little shade to be had. We sit for a while and I give Dave sips of Gatorade every minute or so. We slowly walk back to the trailhead where I sit Dave in the sparse shade of a Palo Verde tree while I ride down the long fireroad to get my truck. My imagination is on fire as I drive up the fireroad ("I'm going to find Dave dead under the tree when I get there") but fortunately Dave is alive and doing ok.

* I have a 128 oz. bladder full of water on my back and two 28 oz. bottles of Gatorade on the bike.
 

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I've had two Dave or three Dave moments I guess. The first was circa 2001 when I got my first 'mountainbike', 100mm hardtail with discs. I used to dirt jump it and ride down anything I could. Got invited along to a shop ride up (Skyline, Queenstown) and turned up and everyone else was in amour, full faces, and DH bikes. I pretty much fell down all of WC98. A year later I bought a DH bike.

Not long after that, I rode my DH bike on a six hour group ride with the university club. Lots of stopping and differing abilities, so that was fine. A Norwegian chap and I got to chatting, asking where I rode a DH bike etc etc. He asked if I could show him the DH trails. I looked at his XC hardtail and lycra and laughed inwardly. Later that week we meet and he's in a full Dainese suit, custom painted carbon D2 and has a factory DHi GT bike. Norwegian National champ. I simply showed him where the trails were and he left me for dust on every run.

The most recent one was riding with my brother in law's group for the first time. We do a similar loop to my normal buddies. However the first climb which is only a couple of minutes, my group sit in our granny gears and chat and warm up. These guys all stood up and cranked. PR for me, but lungs burning. I pulled out at the first bailout point. Way too quick up (and down) for me.
 

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No known cure
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In early years of this site there were MTBR gatherings in different locations. One of them I attended was in Seattle. Naturally there was a large group from BC. One night, before a long ride on Mt Rainier, I was determined to show the Canadians my drinking abilities. The next morning on the trail, I had to stop every ten minutes to puke.

I've rode with others less than ten times in the past 30 years so nearly all of my Dave moments have been solo. Usually a death march that ends in the ER.
 

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Hi my name is DAVE! been at this a little over 6 months, im the slowest guy out there despite vast improvements. But if your not careful i might pass you after 20-30 miles with the endurance ive always had ;) I ride with a 58 year old who holds a world title and is the fastest man on 2 wheels, and was at one time the national speedway champion. he has been riding mnt bikes his whole life and just got me into it. I dont ***** or complain less the often "I hate you's" on our rides. I do try hard and even started running to build strength, for this year ive ridden 267 miles and climbed over 30,000 feet. My buddy doesnt wait to much but I just dont have speed up 3 mile 1000' climbs. Well im trying so I hope I get there, I try riding 2 days a week and do interval training, guess i just need more. Attitude is everything and ill keep plugging away ;) my longest ride was 30 miles and climbed 4000' feet, but it took me 6.5 hours
 

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Yeh... I've been a Dave... twice....

First time was my first real mountain bike ride. I had a hardtail that I had kept outside for three years while I was in college. After I was done school (1995), I moved to a new town, went to the LBS to find out where I could ride and was invited to join them for a group ride that afternoon. During the ride my chain broke 3 times and the front derailleur broke off. I made it back to the car, drove home and didn't get out of bed for 12 hours. I was hooked ever since.

The second time I was putting the front wheel on my bike at the trail head when I noticed my grip was loose. Got the grip tightened, started riding and 50 feet down the trail watched my front wheel roll off when I lifted the front wheel to go over a log pile. I didn't have an end cap on my handlebar (think it fell off when the loose grip rotated and moved) and I darn near took a core sample of my inner thigh.

I've since become very anal about taking care of my bike...
 

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In road cycling, there are Freds and Dorrises. You don't want to be perceived as being a Fred or a Dorris, and if one is your actual name, come up with an alias or nickname for riding.
I'm a proud Fred

Sent from my moto g(6) forge using Tapatalk
 

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Self Appointed Judge&Jury
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Discussion Starter · #30 ·
In high school we had a Watson. You didn’t want to be known as pulling a Watson.
 

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I rode with Dave once on a 26 mile “epic.” Nice enough guy, but he kept stopping to check his text messages and whenever he got a signal had to call his GF to check in. He had several others he had to check in with as well, apparently. It was literally like every 10 minutes we had to stop.

Now, this ride has almost 4,000 feet of climbing. A great time on the whole thing is four hours. We finished in about 7...:/

I lost Dave’s phone number.
 

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I had a "Dave" who was constantly bugging me to take him on a ride with my bros. He had a bike.....one of those funky folding travel "mtb's" with a questionable elastomer fork. He had taken it to Isrealand supposedly a) was emotionally tied to that bike, and' b) claimed poverty for not buying a modern FS rig. Well I also knew his banker, who simply told me, "he can afford it".
This guy followed us up on Del Mar Mesa, and we descended via the old Tunnel 3 trail, AKA "Rocking Horse". at the bottom we headed westward through a place called McGonicle canyon, which featured many topographical "g-outs" at the bottom of one such where he crashed . We managed to rig his POS folder up to be a single speed, and bid him farewell on the fire road home, whilst we continued on our preferred route.

Afterwards, I told him not to even try asking to go on a ride with us, until he got a decent, strong mtb with at least a good suspension fork. He was a real piece of work, that guy.

He never rode with me again.
 

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Years ago while I was still doing group rides, I Daved. While generally a back of the pack guy, I totally bonked, couldn't go on, and convinced the group to go on without me, as I knew the trails well. I waited to regain a bit of strength, then walked/rode my way out. It's all technical rock/root/up/down northeast terrain. At one point a toppled over on a large flat rock. I lay there next to my bike, not hurt, but oh so close to falling asleep. My better sense prevailed and I got up and made my way out.
 

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I lay there next to my bike, not hurt, but oh so close to falling asleep. My better sense prevailed and I got up and made my way out.
One time my wife tried to convince her 100k race teammates to leave her so she could take a nap on the side of a trail.
 

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Thinking about riding.
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Years ago while I was still doing group rides, I Daved. While generally a back of the pack guy, I totally bonked, couldn't go on, and convinced the group to go on without me, as I knew the trails well. I waited to regain a bit of strength, then walked/rode my way out. It's all technical rock/root/up/down northeast terrain. At one point a toppled over on a large flat rock. I lay there next to my bike, not hurt, but oh so close to falling asleep. My better sense prevailed and I got up and made my way out.
That's not a Dave at all, no shame in bonking - just don't ruin others' rides in the process.
 

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...Such as the case where I showed up to a ride advertised as a beginner ride that wasn't actually a beginner ride.
Yeah, we tagged along on such a ride with friends who would bridge the gap between us and the fast guys, lending at least a little continuity to the ride. Well, those friends crashed out and decided to just hobble back to camp leaving me and my buddy ("O" from another story) to chase the fast guys through the roughest parts of Blue Knob SP in PA. After about a 1/2 hour of riding, and pretty much already shelled out from the previous day, we cut them loose and rode our own ride. No ill will either way, but we were feeling pretty Dave-ish for that 1/2 hr.

-F
 

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Hi my name is DAVE! been at this a little over 6 months, im the slowest guy out there despite vast improvements. But if your not careful i might pass you after 20-30 miles with the endurance ive always had ;) I ride with a 58 year old who holds a world title and is the fastest man on 2 wheels, and was at one time the national speedway champion. he has been riding mnt bikes his whole life and just got me into it. I dont ***** or complain less the often "I hate you's" on our rides. I do try hard and even started running to build strength, for this year ive ridden 267 miles and climbed over 30,000 feet. My buddy doesnt wait to much but I just dont have speed up 3 mile 1000' climbs. Well im trying so I hope I get there, I try riding 2 days a week and do interval training, guess i just need more. Attitude is everything and ill keep plugging away ;) my longest ride was 30 miles and climbed 4000' feet, but it took me 6.5 hours
You have too good of an attitude; You're not Daving.
 

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Yeah, we tagged along on such a ride with friends who would bridge the gap between us and the fast guys, lending at least a little continuity to the ride. Well, those friends crashed out and decided to just hobble back to camp leaving me and my buddy ("O" from another story) to chase the fast guys through the roughest parts of Blue Knob SP in PA. After about a 1/2 hour of riding, and pretty much already shelled out from the previous day, we cut them loose and rode our own ride. No ill will either way, but we were feeling pretty Dave-ish for that 1/2 hr.

-F
My instance was in Pittsburgh maybe 14yrs ago or so.

My fitness was down and I was having a hard time finding motivation to ride. I figured a beginner ride was a good place to start. Maybe I'd meet some people I liked riding with and I'd get out more. I don't think there was an actual beginner on the ride at all. The group pushed a hard pace for me to follow, and it ended up being one of those rides where the group would stop at intersections, but then take off as soon as they saw me show up. So I felt super rushed. There was a sweeper, but he also made me feel super rushed. Consequently, I pushed myself harder than I should have. I bonked, puked, got dehydrated and a bit delirious, and the sweeper basically cut me off from the ride. But instead of escorting me back to the trailhead to make sure I was okay (I wasn't doing especially well), he just pointed down a road we were crossing and said the trailhead was "that way" and just left me to my own devices.

A very small change in the way that ride was managed would have made ALL the difference. Instead of taking off as soon as the last rider shows up, waiting a little more until the last rider has caught their breath is the appropriate way to handle a BEGINNER ride. The people on that ride may well have considered me a "Dave" for holding things up and overestimating my abilities, but I don't think any of that actually happened.
 
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