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Fermented Grain Sampler
clinking clanking clattering collection of collagenous junk
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4,165 Posts
"There's always someone stronger/faster/better than you"

"Don't forget to have fun"

"The item you take out of the Camelbak is the item you need on the next ride"

"Close your mouth on fast muddy rides."
 

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Weird huh?
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2,286 Posts
!!!

...all of the marketing hype in the world won't help those $50.00 tires grip those wet roots...
 

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aka baycat
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8,480 Posts
Thou shalt not wear lycra :)

Thou shalt covet thy neighbors $5,000 blinged out full squish with tons of carbon bits

Thou shalt not let something green grow in thy Camelback

Always remember to remove the malt liquor, screw driver or fat tire from your camelback that you used for the party when you go on a ride the next day. Yuck warm vodka!
 

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SS Pusher Man
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7,623 Posts
Never say "I wanna do that (jump/drop/stunt) one last time."

Never talk about how you never get flats.

mtnbikej
 

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Registered
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13,089 Posts
If you tell your wife you'll be back at noon..... you can bet it'll be two at least.

If you go biking with my dad on "this trail I saw on the map", you can bet there'll be some hike-a-bike.

The proportion of hike-a-bike to actual ride increases directly with the number of whiners he has with him.

If two points look like they connect on the map..... they probably don't.
 

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Registered
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2,816 Posts
1) How hard you crash is directly portional to the number of people watching you at that time.

a) If you are a male, you WILL crash over some STUPIDLY easy stunt while she is
watching.

2) Your chain will choose to break at the precise moment that you bear down on the pedal to power over a log/rock/etc.
 

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Banned
Joined
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226 Posts
don't wear spandex, unless you have a ballet after your ride. Or your a chick mountain biker with a nice a$$.

No matter how many ounces your camel back will hold, you will drink it.

Never put your shin guards on with the velcro on the inside of your leg. Your legs will stick together.

Putting your finger on one nostril and blowing snot all over with the other nostril is NOT cool.
 

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Registered
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3,267 Posts
Ricko said:
If you didn't build the stunt....You have no right to move it, modify it or destroy it...you only have the right to go around it (assuming you can't ride it) .
Unless it's illegally built of course.
 
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