[Plim]

So some of you may have seen Rensho's thread on "mileage month". As anyone who has witnessed Rensho (or his evil accomplice Menso) singlespeed Coe's monster climbs knows, Rensho is an alien, sent to enslave mankind (and womankind), or at least make our lives miserable.

Well, it's time we fight back. Starting now.

February '07 is now officially sofa month. Screw you, mileage month! Fvck you!

Here's what we'll track:

-Hours of TV watched. (Track channels used - bonus if you watch at least 15 minutes of every channel on the dial - yes, you must watch cspan and qvc to qualify.)
-Number of Netflix viewed and returned.
-Weight gained.
-Pizzas ordered and consumed (bonus points if you leave the box in your living room for at least a week instead of cleaning up afterwards).
-Penalty points for getting on a bike.
-Size of your empty beer can pyramid (all cans must be emptied in Feb).
-Before and after pics of your remote control - big bonus if you wear off a number from at least one of the buttons. Take your "before" picture today!
-Bonus multiplier if you watch sports or a violent action movie with your female S.O. in the same room. If you have a male S.O., bonus points earned for watching a chick flick without your S.O. getting up and leaving.
-Bonus 4 hours of sofa time for watching TV naked. Photographic proof is required to claim this bonus. (Bonus 8 hours for naked attactive woman sofa time - PM me the proof, PLEASE.)

All cooked up in a complex formula to find the winner. Of course, if you're too lazy to track anything, you're probably going to win sofa month outright. If anyone enters, someone will probably win a prize. I don't know what it'll be. But it won't be nuthin'. A soft cushion? Movie tickets? Something along the lines of the theme.

It is acceptable to have a mountain bike in the same room as your sofa, as long as you don't ride it. You can even tinker with it/maintain it, as long as you don't break a sweat.

Here is my gps track of my sofa time today. Two hours, 21 minutes, less than one-tenth of a mile of movement:
http://trail.motionbased.com/trail/episode/view.do?episodePk.pkValue=2032049

Let's stop moving, people!

(And stay tuned: July is going to be shuttle month! Start making your reservations at Yuba Expeditions/Downieville Outfitters now!)

 

[CrankyMonkey]

Ha! I think I could win this one!!!! I haven't touched my bike in almost 2 months!

How many points for watching "Grease, Your the one that I want"? Cause I'm doing that right now...

 

[Dan'ger]

Summary Data
Total Time (h:m:s)	2:21:43	0:00 pace
Moving Time (h:m:s)	0:00:14	2:25 pace
Distance (mi )	0.10
Moving Speed (mph)	24.8 avg.	1.1 max.
Elevation Gain (ft)	+43 / -29
Temperature (°F)	60.8°F avg.	60.8°F high
Wind Speed ( mph)	WSW 3.5 avg.	WSW 3.5 max.
GPS Signal Quality	Fair	GPS+Barometric Altimeter
Similar Activities	TrailNetwork
Download	GPS Device
Export	GPX HST CRS

wow! 0.10 miles! on your couch! with a max speed of 24.8MPH! is that gravity for when you rolled off of your couch during an interception? 60.8 degrees? you keep your apartment awfully cold. Turn on the heat man!

 

[zorg]

What about points for playing with computers. So far, I've installed Vista on a new desktop and reinstalled XP on the old one while swapping hard drives and CD drives. Damn, that gotta count for sumthing.

 

[Tracerboy]

Down with Hubris,or suffer the wrath of the gods !

So some of you may have seen Rensho's thread on "mileage month". As anyone who has witnessed Rensho (or his evil accomplice Menso) singlespeed Coe's monster climbs knows, Rensho is an alien, sent to enslave mankind (and womankind), or at least make our lives miserable.

I really like this whole anti-hubris thing ya got going. Bring us more!
Serve it on a big greasy platter with some bacon grease, yea lots of arteryclogging bacon grease !!! :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant:

 

[The Law]

Here's what we'll track:

-Hours of TV watched. (Track channels used - bonus if you watch at least 15 minutes of every channel on the dial - yes, you must watch cspan and qvc to qualify.)

Hey, I like cspan.

-Number of Netflix viewed and returned.

Do documentaries count? Just watched "Who Killed the Electric Car" and I highly recommend. It has reinspired me to ride my bike to and from work even more, not to get miles, but to screw the evil oil companies.
[/QUOTE]

All--
Beware. Plim is sandbagging. He's really trying to win Rensho's competition by getting us to not compete. Nice try but we're on to you.

 

[Plim]

Ha! I think I could win this one!!!! I haven't touched my bike in almost 2 months!

Good work, CrankyMonkey! Keep it up!

How many points for watching "Grease, Your the one that I want"? Cause I'm doing that right now...

Unfortunately, you probably get no points for that. Show tune-related entertainment subject matter falls into the "chick flick" type category. Watching it on your own does nothing to the score. All you get is the enjoyment of catchy songs and cheering on your favorites.

Any bonus points in this situation depend on the gender and action of a SO. You need a male SO who does not leave the room to get the bonus. (This is an area where being stereotypically gay is a advantage, as there is a better chance that there is a male SO who will stick around and watch.)

wow! 0.10 miles! on your couch! with a max speed of 24.8MPH! is that gravity for when you rolled off of your couch during an interception? 60.8 degrees? you keep your apartment awfully cold. Turn on the heat man!

The "60.8" degrees highlights a benefit of sofa month. That number was pulled by MB from weather reports, and was not drawn from direct gps measurements. So it was 60.8 degrees outside, chilly and unpleasant. In my house as I sat on my sofa, on the other hand, was a delightful 73 degrees. Nice 'n' warm! Yet another way that sofa time just makes sense. (This advantage will be even more pronounced if it ever rains again.)

24.8 MPH is probably when I'd had three beers and had to wait a long time for a commercial break. I really had to go when the advertisement finally came on. I had to run for it to make sure I got to the bathroom before it was taken by someone else.

What about points for playing with computers. So far, I've installed Vista on a new desktop and reinstalled XP on the old one while swapping hard drives and CD drives. Damn, that gotta count for sumthing.

Computer time DEFINITELY counts - if you have calorific snacks and beverages there, take a picture for the double bonus. More bonus points for advancing a World of Warcraft character to level 60 from scratch during the month. I hear the Wii has you moving around, so points will be deducted for usage of that particular console. (What posessed you to install Vista so soon? That's a recipe for aggravation.)

Serve it on a big greasy platter with some bacon grease, yea lots of arteryclogging bacon grease !!!

Mmmm... bacon... Hold on, I'll be back in a few minutes....

...

...

Ok, I'm back. And I've had breakfast now.

Hey, I like cspan.

You're weird. Sorry, I can't pull punches on this subject.

Do documentaries count? Just watched "Who Killed the Electric Car" and I highly recommend. It has reinspired me to ride my bike to and from work even more, not to get miles, but to screw the evil oil companies.

Documentaries count, but they're dangerous. This is proven by how the one you watched got you off the sofa (and off the sofa-like seats in your car) and out onto a bicycle. Your chances of winning sofa month are pretty slim, I'm afraid. Buck up, there's always next year.

So people, take The Law's lesson to heart: be careful about the documentaries you put into your DVD player.

All--
Beware. Plim is sandbagging. He's really trying to win Rensho's competition by getting us to not compete. Nice try but we're on to you.

This scurrilous accusation is an outright lie. My lawyers will be after you for libel and will clear my good name. (Of course it's not like anyone would believe a cspan-watching weirdo anyway.)

 

[CHUM]

dude....your contest sounds waaaaaaay more fun than the mileage one :thumbsup: .....but i agree with some of the above posts....pretty sure you are....

 

[geoffss]

I just spent Wednesday thru today either in bed or on the couch with a sinus infection and a fever. I would like to have been able to record my stats, but I was so stoned on decongestants and Nyquil that I dont remember a thing. :eekster: :eekster: :eekster:

I do know I have a wretched case of cabin fever from the inactivity, and with the impending forecast of rain for the better part of a week, I am in a bad mood

 

[Plim]

dude....your contest sounds waaaaaaay more fun than the mileage one :thumbsup: .....but i agree with some of the above posts....pretty sure you are....

Pretty sure I am... a woman with bad hair, a dirty shirt, and '80s glasses? What does that have to do with anything? (And with your nekkid mileage, you've already got more miles than I'd make in a month anyway. The mileage title is way out of reach for me, even if the accusations of secret riding were true.)

goeffss: I'm sorry. Involuntary inactivity really sucks. Hopefully you at least win sofa month, and end up with a prize to make you feel better.

 

[CHUM]

That's right Mr. Dude in Orange Shirt....you are a woman with bad hair and 80's glasses ....see, that's what happens if you sit on the sofa all day watching cspan and documentaries...:thumbsup:

Pretty sure I am... a woman with bad hair, a dirty shirt, and '80s glasses? What does that have to do with anything? (And with your nekkid mileage, you've already got more miles than I'd make in a month anyway. The mileage title is way out of reach for me, even if the accusations of secret riding were true.)

goeffss: I'm sorry. Involuntary inactivity really sucks. Hopefully you at least win sofa month, and end up with a prize to make you feel better.

 

[Finch Platte]

Damn.

I gots to get me a couch.

 

[Tracerboy]

Gender Bender

Pretty sure I am... a woman with bad hair, a dirty shirt, and '80s glasses? What does that have to do with anything?

What makes ya-all think that's a women ?:skep:

 

[Plim]

What makes ya-all think that's a women ?:skep:

'Cause even with the bad hair, dirty shirt, and '80s glasses... she is HAWT!!! Damn, that's one fine lookin' woman. I haven't been able to stop thinking of her since I first saw the picture. I'm in love.

And FP: That's a fine example of sofa month. That dude did not let the lack of soft cushions or upholstery slow him down. He was going to lie down no matter what. He's hard core sofa. Right on. :thumbsup:

(Still, next time could you post a smaller picture? All that scrolling to the right, then scrolling to the left is wearing on me.)

 

[CHUM]

did Fast Eddy win yet????.....

 

[Evil Patrick]

What about points for playing with computers. So far, I've installed Vista on a new desktop and reinstalled XP on the old one while swapping hard drives and CD drives. Damn, that gotta count for sumthing.

Self mutilation doesn't count for squat, and what you want here IS squat.

 

[Plim]

did Fast Eddy win yet????.....

Good question.

Who is in the running for Sofa Month winner? I'm out. After a strong start I couldn't keep up the pace. (Keep down the pace?) My will was too weak and I ended up doing a fair amount of riding. I don't think my sofa is comfy enough.

Fast Eddy?
Big Larry?
Crankymonkey?

Baycat did like 45 miles, who did less than that? Do we have some ties with zero miles?

 

[timehoc]

12 miles + three spin classes + 4 days in Paris with a crapload of beer/wine/cheese. :thumbsup:

hopefully I don't get DQ'd for the spin classes.

 

[Wherewolf]

I won!

I rode once in February and that was the ride at Ft. Ord Feb 3rd, on which I got chain suck so badly that I cut the ride short, to three hours. I had to grind around most of that ride, including the entire "grind", in my middle ring. I think that is what set my knees off.

 

[g-funk]

I rode my bike twice in february -
Once was shuttled+
I've been in the gym 3 times a week. -
went to a 4 day superbowl party in reenhole.3 awful awfuls and dinner in the strip club twice+
maybe 25hrs of sleep all weekend+
worked my arse off at work+
volunteered at the Boy scout camp lots of hard labor-
drank till I blacked out every night after boy scout camp work+
Got hooked on vietnamese noodle bowls with pork, eggroll and shrimp 2-3 times a week+
north coast brewery tour+
sweet trail work day on lawndale-
cooler of beers afterwards+
put 1000 miles on the car following The Tour+
Coleman valley sausage, wine and beerfest+
ran next to the riders for about 200-300 feet 4 times-
consumed 3-4 pizzas+
Can't remember what else I ate due to drunkeness+
Hiked up to lake ilsanjo on valentines night-
passed out at the lake for 45mins to an hour+
all you can eat Fat Tuesday party big chicken mamou+
Have you had those cheapo bacon wrapped filets from costco?+

didn't gain weight more due to busting ass at the gym or puking not sure,

March is going to hurt, I'm looking forward to it!!!!:thumbsup: