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Fart smeller
Paid to post this crap.
19,859 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
An intelligent life form showed up at my house today, and with a modicum of cajoling, persuaded me to go for a ride. I had no idea where we were headed, altho he (it?) threw out ideas as though I were a part of the decision-making process. "Salmon Falls? Rockville? Skyline? Henry Coe?!?" I could only shrug my shoulders and roll my eyes. It was as if I were drugged, but I attributed it to massive amounts of B&B (bbq & beer) and inhaling briquet smoke from the night before.

As the sentient being scanned the skies from my front lawn, perhaps bonding with the resident Swainson's Hawk ( ) or perhaps receiving information from the Mother Ship, I hastily threw my things in the cargo bay of the Land Pod, forgetting nothing but my gloves and remembering I hadn't yet completed my last will and testament. I bade Dick farewell and he ignored me, concentrating on what he felt could be his last bowl of kibble.

With the steady throb (sounding suspiciously like live Elvin Bishop) of the thrusters accelerating us smoothly to a fantastic speed I have never before attempted on my own in my antiquidated vehicle, we were on our way! The bikes swayed gently on the rear of the Pod, and inside, it was as though we were sitting in a moving vehicle as the landscape sped by. It was quite the sight to this novice, and I enjoyed every nano-second. Conversation was unnecessary, as we communicated on a level unknown to the average Earthling. I try to do it now with Dick, to no avail. Apparently, it was effective only during the short time I spent with the gentle traveler...

Suddenly, after what seemed to be a mere hour, we arrived at Rockville. It was as though a veil had been lifted. I felt so alive! I breathed deeply of the familiar scents in the parking lot; stale urine and over-flowing garbage containers. Trodding gently amongst the glass shards, we lifted our bikes from the Pod, and readied for our adventure. The alien had mysterious devices he called "fenders" on his bicycle, and as I knew it would be dry at Rockville, I felt he was covering up what might be some sort of futuristic levitating device for his rig. Sure enough, he managed to stay upright the entire ride, confirming my suspicions.

The rest of the day sped by without incident. As you all know, Rockville is being inundated with houses (see pic #2). The rest of the pics are the only ones that turned out, due to some sort of coating on the alien's advanced outer skin and head covering.

Now you know what an alien looks like. If you see this advanced being, be sure to introduce yourself. You'll be in for a good time, I guarantee it (apparently, aliens don't have jobs, and are ready to ride at a moment's notice).



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