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Wow, every marriage certainly is different. My wife would never want me to buy her a dress, unless I was with her when she was shopping for it and I happened to be the one paying for it before we left the store.

Your account is the first I have ever heard of a husband buying dresses for his wife..... and living to tell about it.
I'm also tapped for bra shopping, seriously, I think I missed my calling ...
 

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So a hunter goes hunting with his buddy.
On the arduous hike to their favorite spot, his buddy collapses and the hunter fears his buddy is dead.
Lucky to be in cell coverage, the hunter hurriedly dials 911.
Dispatcher: "State the nature of your emergency."
Hunter: "My buddy collasped and I think he's dead. What should I do?"
Dispatcher: "First thing, make sure he's dead."
Hunter: "Hold on."
Silence, then a bang.
Hunter: "OK, now what?"
 

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In case you didn’t know:

Q: Why are Santa’s reindeer allowed to travel around the world so freely on Christmas Eve?
A: They have herd immunity.

Ok Ok. I won’t do it again..
 

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Last one for 2020

What did the elephant say to the naked man?




"How do you breathe through that thing?"
 

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So a hunter goes hunting with his buddy.
On the arduous hike to their favorite spot, his buddy collapses and the hunter fears his buddy is dead.
Lucky to be in cell coverage, the hunter hurriedly dials 911.
Dispatcher: "State the nature of your emergency."
Hunter: "My buddy collasped and I think he's dead. What should I do?"
Dispatcher: "First thing, make sure he's dead."
Hunter: "Hold on."
Silence, then a bang.
Hunter: "OK, now what?"
Never hunt with Dick Cheney..
 

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Johnny was sitting on a park bench eating one donut after another. After the 5th one, the elderly man sitting on the other end of the bench said "You know eating all those donuts is not good for you. It rots your teeth, makes your face break out, and makes you fat."

Johnny said to the man "My grandfather lived to a ripe old age of 102".

"Really" said the man. "Did he eat all those donuts just like your doing?"

"Nope" said Johnny. "He just knew to mind his own business!"
 
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