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the unvarnished nonsense
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello all, hope this spring finds you in good spirits and in the saddle. The planning for this year's Slatyfork Shuffle is underway and I have a proposition for all of you attendees. In order to improve the image of mountain bikers around these parts, I was wondering if you all would be willing to give up a few hours of "downtime" one day of the Shuffle to perform highway litter clean-up, either along a stretch of the Scenic Highway or at least along the forest road that leads from the highway to the Tea Creek Campground? I know a reporter for our local paper and I'm sure I could get us a little press and a photo showing us with all of the litter collected. I believe I can get the bags donated and probably some of those nifty blaze orange vests to wear so we remain safe and stylish.

So, what do you think? You can reply here or PM me with your thoughts, comments, suggestions, or profanity laced complaints.

Finally, contrary to some reports you may hear from LowCel, there are NO CURRENT PLANS to have "stripper night" at the campground. ;)
 

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Sounds like a good plan to me.

As far as the strippers go could you imagine all of the hot local chicks we could bribe with a few swigs of shine? Come on now, at least consider it. :D
 

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the unvarnished nonsense
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
"Hot" and "local" would seem to be an oxymoron. Now me, on the other hand, I'm just a regular ol' fashioned moron.
 

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davis said:
Hello all, hope this spring finds you in good spirits and in the saddle. The planning for this year's Slatyfork Shuffle is underway and I have a proposition for all of you attendees. In order to improve the image of mountain bikers around these parts, I was wondering if you all would be willing to give up a few hours of "downtime" one day of the Shuffle to perform highway litter clean-up, either along a stretch of the Scenic Highway or at least along the forest road that leads from the highway to the Tea Creek Campground? I know a reporter for our local paper and I'm sure I could get us a little press and a photo showing us with all of the litter collected. I believe I can get the bags donated and probably some of those nifty blaze orange vests to wear so we remain safe and stylish.

So, what do you think? You can reply here or PM me with your thoughts, comments, suggestions, or profanity laced complaints.

Finally, contrary to some reports you may hear from LowCel, there are NO CURRENT PLANS to have "stripper night" at the campground. ;)
I'm in for the clean up. As far as "Local" strippers, could we just import a few from out of state? Now that I'm a "city slicker" I've kinda gotten use to girls have all their teeth. :D

BTW, I've got another good proctology story to share wtih you guys that I heard on the radio the other day! This one doesn't involve my ex.
 

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crashedandburned said:
I'm in for the clean up. As far as "Local" strippers, could we just import a few from out of state? Now that I'm a "city slicker" I've kinda gotten use to girls have all their teeth. :D

BTW, I've got another good proctology story to share wtih you guys that I heard on the radio the other day! This one doesn't involve my ex.
Girls???? Who is talking about girls? In that part of the country I'm pretty sure the "local" strippers would refer to sheep wouldn't it?

Keep in mind around that area the men are men and the sheep are scared!

BTW......I'm pretty sure your story telling rights have been revoked.
 

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Up yer kilt!
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If you want to do something along the lines of "area beautification"...

…perhaps we could just go around to some of the houses and plant Yard Sale signs and put prices on all the "objects" out on the porches and laying around the yards.

Either that our we can put in applications for everyone in the county for Extreme Makeovers; Dental Edition.

But if you insist on having this roadside cleanup, the least you could do is get us all white t-shirts, cigarette packs we can roll up in the sleeves and orange jumpsuits. We'll pay for the mullets and cheap tattoos ourselves.

CA -

Strippers? In WV? No thanks...
 

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the unvarnished nonsense
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Charlie America said:
But if you insist on having this roadside cleanup, the least you could do is get us all white t-shirts, cigarette packs we can roll up in the sleeves and orange jumpsuits. We'll pay for the mullets and cheap tattoos ourselves.

CA -
Now I see we're all on the same page, here. We'll actually take care of the cheap tattoos at the campground after people start passing out the first night. You guys aren't sticklers about correct spelling and proper hygiene, I hope. As for the rest of the chain gang, I do have a shotgun, some dark Aviator-type sunglasses, and I'm working on my accent as we speak:

"what we haave heeere...is a FAIL-YURE...to co-MUNE-i-kate.."

hehe

CA, I owe you some royalties on that CSI-West Virginia joke you told us at the first Shuffle. Still makes me laugh.
 

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the unvarnished nonsense
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
crashedandburned said:
Awww....come on now....it isn't as bad as the ex-wife story I told you guys last year.
...as if... :eek:
 

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Not sure what to type?
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Count me in...

Never hurts to clean the place up a little. If we're lucky maybe we can have a "Roadkill Night" instead of a "Wing Night" this year. :D Just bring lots of BBQ sauce.
 

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www.justthebonnet.com
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So I have to dive 8 hours to work the chain gang?? What the h*ll is this davis??? I don't mind picking up pieces of Lowcel that I smoke on the mountain, but trash detail??? (Hey if I can do it drunk, then fine with me)
 

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Alright, let's ride!
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Capt_phun said:
So I have to dive 8 hours to work the chain gang?? What the h*ll is this davis??? I don't mind picking up pieces of Lowcel that I smoke on the mountain, but trash detail??? (Hey if I can do it drunk, then fine with me)
If I would try to race you you would have to pick up some pretty big chunks on that hill. The main pieces being my legs and lungs. The truth is I'll be so far behind you I really don't think you will want to take the time to come back and look for all of the pieces. Just leave that up to the raccoons and possums.
 

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the unvarnished nonsense
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
just to clarify...

I'm not trying to be a slave driver here, just putting it out as a suggestion. If it's a bummer to you and you rather not participate, hey, you can always pass or we can scrap the idea altogether. I realize that the static I'm seeing here is probably just in fun, but honestly, the highway could use some beautification. We rode the Black Mt climb yesterday then turned around, dropped back to the Williams River, and went up the other side just for sh*ts and giggles. On my way up the other side (the way we go up to access Gauley Mt Trail, Red Run, and that incredible Tea Creek Mt descent) I couldn't help but be appalled at the amount of trash on the sides of the "Scenic" Highway. Absolutley deplorable. I blame the locals who have no comprehension of what a truly beautiful area they live in.

I'm thinking if we have a dozen or more, we could easily clean up both sides of the Highway between the Williams River Bridge and the overlook near the Tea Creek Mt trailhead. It's just under 4 miles. If we drop 2 folks off each about 3/4 of a mile apart, each with a bag, we can probably accomplish the task in about 2 hours, I'm guessing.

About that "Roadkill Dinner" that HB mentioned....Have any of you ever eaten bear? I happen to have some frozen away that I'm planning on bringing out to the Shuffle. It's the meat from two shoulders, cubed. I'm thinking a stew type meal here, most likely with ramps, another local delicacy. You'll love it. Maybe. Venison will surely be on the menu as well. I can get some special land owner permits that will allow me to harvest a doe or two before the season actually arrives, so they'll be nice, fresh and tender. And it will give me a reason to get the old bow out and sharpen my skills before the real season rolls around. I'd rather eat a nice deer tenderloin over any cut of beef, anyday. The Golden Chanterelle mushrooms will be in season during the Shuffle, so we'll be seeing those as well. If you're a mushroom lover, you may not want to go home after sampling these gastronomical delicacies. And of course, wing night will happen again.

I'm hoping this will be the most fun Shuffle to date. We have folks coming from the original that missed last year's, returnees from 2004, and hopefully we'll see some brand new faces as well.

HB- I need to call you soon to see when we can do some trail work. From the sounds of things, that Bannock Shoals/Turkey Mt/County Line loop might be more like trail reclaimation than just cleaning, but it looks too good not to at least take a look at it. The descent down County Line appears to drop 1000' in 2 miles, and my very old map shows it as an abandoned rail grade that runs along Bannock Shoals Run. We could start on foot from the Williams River road and hike up, or ride up Bannock Shoals and fight our way down. Hopefully one day will do it. I'll call you next week (my agenda for this weekend has already been laid out for me).
 

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davis said:
I'm thinking if we have a dozen or more, we could easily clean up both sides of the Highway between the Williams River Bridge and the overlook near the Tea Creek Mt trailhead. It's just under 4 miles. If we drop 2 folks off each about 3/4 of a mile apart, each with a bag, we can probably accomplish the task in about 2 hours, I'm guessing.
I say we go for it myself. Do the clean up in the morning, break for lunch and a ride in the afternoon followed by chow and spirits in the evening. :)
 

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Capt_phun said:
Hey if I can do it drunk, then fine with me
Now honestly, is there anything that you can't do drunk?

davis said:
Have any of you ever eaten bear? I happen to have some frozen away that I'm planning on bringing out to the Shuffle. It's the meat from two shoulders, cubed. I'm thinking a stew type meal here, most likely with ramps, another local delicacy. You'll love it. Maybe. Venison will surely be on the menu as well. I can get some special land owner permits that will allow me to harvest a doe or two before the season actually arrives, so they'll be nice, fresh and tender. And it will give me a reason to get the old bow out and sharpen my skills before the real season rolls around. I'd rather eat a nice deer tenderloin over any cut of beef, anyday. The Golden Chanterelle mushrooms will be in season during the Shuffle, so we'll be seeing those as well. If you're a mushroom lover, you may not want to go home after sampling these gastronomical delicacies. And of course, wing night will happen again.
WOW, you are really going all out this year. I am still dissapointed that I had to miss wing night last year. :(
 

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Capt_phun said:
Food sounds good, except wings will be HOT this year, no girlies allowed, "can I have mine plain?" :)
Definately need to be hot! The hotter the better.

Also, I'll be bringing some snacks as well. Nothing as fancy as davis but still some goodies to munch on.
 

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the unvarnished nonsense
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
wing sauces...

Capt_phun said:
Food sounds good, except wings will be HOT this year, no girlies allowed, "can I have mine plain?" :)
I'm thinking we can easily do 3 varieties of sauce. Hot, super hot, and "HOLY $&!% I'LL BE DOWN IN THE CREEK" hot. :)
 

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The alabama gang

I will definately be there and drag my poor old a$$ up and down the hills with youse guys. Greg is planning on comming with me this year and maybe another buddy or two. I would be up for litter patrol as long as everybody drags their selves out of bed so we can "get er done" those are my parameters and I expect everyone to comply, resistance is futile. I will be bringing some insect processed nectar to mix with habenaro sauce for some sweet-hot wing sauce. Looking foward to a major good time again this year.
Rick
 
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