Lahoma - Trail, Kooklahoma, Maryland

Lahoma - Trail, Kooklahoma, Maryland

DESCRIPTION

Sublime mix of goodies

USER REVIEWS

Showing 1-10 of 25  
[Apr 22, 2002]
Lorenzo

details, details, details. Do you want to hear about the flat I fixed, also?

Customer Service

Go where your heart desires...and for as long as your wife lets you.

Similar Products Used:

Do not search for Lahoma...it will come to you.

OVERALL
RATING
3
VALUE
RATING
[Apr 24, 2002]
Kennondale

"X" marks the spot, or chase the fox up that hill...... it's all good!

Customer Service

I recommend clockwise or counterclockwise

OVERALL
RATING
5
VALUE
RATING
[Apr 25, 2002]
Neither Good nor Evil

Do not urinate on the cul-de-sac tree.

Customer Service

Up or down, In or out, side to side, whatever your heart desires.

Similar Products Used:

How can one not recommend the Seneca Creek Park Trails...after all, it is the 4th best place to ride at in the USA.

OVERALL
RATING
5
VALUE
RATING
[Oct 12, 2002]
Shred Schralpley

This place rocks MAN! Can you say teeter-totter? Just keep it pointed foward. Lahoma is the place where dreams come true. It's Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory for schralpers! Make sure to upgrade at the Cul-Duh-Sac Tree! And for cryin out loud please clean the trail as you ride it! When nite falls, Lahoma awakens! But watch out for the Boooogeyman lurking on Fox Hill!

Customer Service

After your beezer or 3....head straight down the BIG hill....BUT...watch out for bombs!! They'll get you everytime! Then it's up to your built in navigation & guidance system to get you in & back!

Similar Products Used:

Southern Lahoma, Northern Lahoma

OVERALL
RATING
5
VALUE
RATING
[Nov 06, 2002]
Candy Kane

Tree roots and fallen logs abound on this virginal schralping mecca. Thrash your way up to Delacroix Roost to enjoy the sweet reward of a bombdiggity slope. Mind the teeter-totter and the lip that follows! Land safely and prepare for the lung ripping trip into La Dugou! Screech owls make night riding a heart stopping event. The numerous creeks offer challenging crossings, dips, and mudslides. Beware of Skidmark Slope: the tree that greets you at the bottom is saturated with the effervescence of many creatures and carries a few teeth as trophies. Also, the freaks come out at night!!!!!!!

Customer Service

Enjoy the initial, kind tube on the way down into Lahoma. It's a doozy that will make you woozy.

OVERALL
RATING
5
VALUE
RATING
[Nov 06, 2002]
Flint Goldmember

"OOOOOOOOOOOO (long O sound) OOOOOOOOOOOLAHOMA where the sun goes burning on the plain." Welcome to Shaggy's Land of Make Believe; a place where the night is alive with happy creatures on wheels who spew strange verbosities like "Schralp" and "Beezer". Stay south of the Lahoma river and bask in the glory of a well teetered totter. Cross the river and try to avoid the wrath of octegenarians and their wretched walking sticks of fury. Beware the screetch owl and high tide at dusk. THE FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT, YEAH, THE FREAKS COME OUT, THE FREAKS COME OUT. Upgrade and listen to 32 vestal virgins humming "It's a Small World After All" along the Lahoma river bank. Note: Lahoma is a fag-friendly zone.

Customer Service

From the parking lot at Shaggy's Palace, drop down to the forest and hug the tree-line left until you find the secret passage. Bomb left to Fox Hill or through the creek to Shaggy's playground.

Similar Products Used:

There are other trails in the area?

OVERALL
RATING
5
VALUE
RATING
[Nov 22, 2002]
Jonathan White

It is sad when someone who acts like a serious rider spends most of their time making up cute little catchy phrases to describe some fantasy trail that only exist in his pink little homosexual brain. Be a real man and get off the computer and on to the bike. I just had a solution to get you onto the trail faster, one friday or saturday night, ride your bike to the fag bar instead of driving your Cabriolet.

Customer Service

Can't recommend a route, if it don't exist.

Similar Products Used:

A real set of trail that I don't see on this site is are ones at Elkneck State Park and FairHill.

OVERALL
RATING
4
VALUE
RATING
[Nov 26, 2002]
Newbie on a Stinky

Mr. White, an unabashed fag basher, has obviously never schralped the buttery goodness that is Lahoma. Although cabriolets are a welcome means of transporting your machine to Lahoma, SUV's are the norm, with the occasional A6S wagon thrown in for good measure. Mr. White's cluelessness about Lahoma emphatically affirms the committment of the Lahoma regulars from leaking the location of this pristine mecca to your average, sexual repressed, angry biker on a Kmart special edition. "Those that know won't tell and those that tell, don't know". (Name the movie and actor and maybe I'll leak the location to you Nazi-boy).
There will be a meeting at Lahoma today at 3:30 p.m. Bring the lube (for the chains). Keeping looking Whitey! Sucker!!!!!!!

Customer Service

Go west young man, go west.

OVERALL
RATING
5
VALUE
RATING
[Nov 26, 2002]
Lorenzo

You mock what you do not understand...Long Live Lahoma! Non-believers will never be able to find Lahoma for it will find you only if you believe.

Customer Service

Leave from Schred Schralpy's Lahoman abode and do it all. If Schred has been shredded, then we ride from Kannon Dele's ranch. If time is on your side, then from Lorenzo's southern lair we shall attack.

Similar Products Used:

If it's a minion you're after...look no further.

OVERALL
RATING
5
VALUE
RATING
[Nov 26, 2002]
Flint Goldmember

Derision will get you nowhere Mr. White. If you honestly think that 5 individuals (who obviously write well enough to be older than your typical 10th grade moron) would take the time to create a biking destination in our imaginations, then you certainly don't know enough about us (nay, ANYTHING about us) that would give you the authority to comment on the seriousness of our riding. For that, I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberry! (name that movie). Good luck finding entry to Lahoma (which, by the way, has no fag population considering that those of us who ride it are all married professionals with multiple kids . . .not that there's anything wrong with alternative lifestyles). It must suck living with yourself. Next time try "please."

Customer Service

See prior review

OVERALL
RATING
5
VALUE
RATING
Showing 1-10 of 25  

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