Miami Mountain

Miami Mountain

	Miami Mountain
Location:	Florida
Nearest Town:	Miami
Directions to Trailhead:	see Oleta Park revies
Trail Description:	South Florida is flatter than a pancake. This trail Trail samples South Florida's best, 6 elevated bridges, Neiman Marcus shopping, mosquito infested swamp, nudist beachfront & traffic on useless US 1
Trail Length:	12 miles
Trail Type:	Paved Path
Skill Level:	Beginner
Submitted By:	DZ

Mike Haber from Miami Beach, FL Date: May 16, 2002 Trail Ridden: Once a week
Recommended Route: Start in the morning in your bed with a big ol' jerk session and eat the yummy yummy jiz jiz off yer hand for the protein needed for the ride! Other recommended trails in the same area: I wants to give a big shout out to all of my big nigz in the south miami area, boyeeeeeeeeeeeee! What is up, duuuuuuuuuuuuudes?
Review: When I heard about this ride, I sez to meself, "holy shit!" and I called me brother, Danny, who immediately threw hisself onto his back and starts giving hisself a jerk so's he can gets his protein for the ride! We then puts on our light blue shiny bike shorts and yellow over-sized tank tops and our slouch socks with our Reebok high-tops and got ready for the ride. Next, I shaved my head so's I can go fast, fast, fast. Zooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom....off we went in my white convertible VW Cabriolet with the tandem bike strapped into the back seat with bungeeeee cords! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, we were going so fast! When we got to the trail head (the parking lot by the NMB police station, across from Tony Roma's) we decided we needed more protein for the long ride, soooooooooooooooooooo, we both slammed down onto our backs and.......that's right....more protein! I started to cry when it started raining and we just went home. Boo-hooooooooooo, boo-hooooooooooo! God damn it! &*#$@!! Shit! Motherfucker! I felt like such a donut-puncher for crying in front of my brother. Onions! Bananas! Oh well, I just went home and watched "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" on my DVD player.	Overall Rating:

GT from CAL Date: April 30, 2002 Trail Ridden: Ridden Once
Recommended Route: just stay home Other recommended trails in the same area:
Review: Anyonw know what the Mt.in Mt.bike is for?	Overall Rating:

BILL D. from MIAMI FL Date: June 18, 2000 Trail Ridden: Once a week
Recommended Route: EAST ON 163 ST TO PARK THATS ABOUT IT IT'S EASY TO FIND! Other recommended trails in the same area: MARKHAM PARK. LESS SHADE ROUGHER TRAILS WITH A GOOD PRO TRAIL.
Review: GOOD OVER ALL! LOTS OF GOOD SWITCH BACK ACTION, WITH LOTS OF UP HILL AND DOWN HILL MIXED IN. LACKS A GOOD PRO TRAIL, ALTHOUGH I'M SURE ITS IN THE WORKS. WELL MAINTAINED, BUT TO MANY WASHED OUT ROOTY AREAS. SIGNED WELL!GOOD FOR BEGINERS AND VETRENS. HATS OFF TO THE VOULENTEERS WHO MAINTAIN IT!!!!!! WE MIAMI RIDERS HAVE TO SAVOR ANY TRAILS WE HAVE!	Overall Rating:

DZ from Miami Date: September 25, 1999 Trail Ridden: Once a month
Recommended Route: Enter Trail at Oleta. Head west anywhere and bear north on any dirt road or trail, there's only one exit at app. 151 Street. Head south, past FIU, to (sometimes locked) gated entrance to Interama (former swamp & dump site), bear west on dilapidated paved roads & pedestrian bridges to 135 Street (only other exit). Head west to US1, turn south, crossing Arch Creek Bridge, turn left onto US 1, turn east @ 2nd traffic light, (Keystone Blvd), turn south 3rd stop sign, head south, cross Arch Creek Bridge, east on 125 Street, cross Intracoastal bridge, Bay Harbour Bridge, when you hit the ocean, turn north on dirt access road, (slow for beach goers) till Haulover Inlet, double back onto A1A and cross Haulover Bridge going north. After bridge, immediately head east onto beach bypass road, exit north end, return to A1A, turn west at 163 Street, cross Intracoastal Bridge, turn south at Oleta Park entrance, cross Oleta River Bridge, find your car. Lots of small parks on the way, swimming opportunities, watering holes, restaurants, etc. Recommended Pitstops: Swim Nude or Kayak @ Haulover, brunch @ Lagoon, under 163 Street Intracoastal Bridge. Other recommended trails in the same area:
Review: see above	Overall Rating: